12reallyknow
Hickory, NC
age: 42
| Im a 42yr old DWM with children. I send emails to ladies on here and other sites and rarely get any reply. They are well thought out, sincere, truthful things about myself to introduce me to the prospective lady.. All of us DO NOT B/S . Those of us , who actually have something to bring to the table, are often overlooked or ignored completely. If I think a woman is attractive I'll tell her that , and I don't sit here looking at pictures or randomly send out emails either, I actually read a womans profile to look for commonalities...
James in NC
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drumrman
Belmont, MA
age: 43
| here! here1 james.  i have done the same things as u have. and...with the same results. 
whatyya gonna do? 
just have to hang in there a little longer & stay positive.
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vitruviangal
Madison, WI
age: 47
| a few weeks ago I had a guy try a new approach on me.....he said "Hi I am......and in your area........would you like to meet for coffee or a drink".
I wrote him back and said, "obviously you are new here, this is how we do it on DH....we wink, then chat for three months back and forth and then talk ourselves out of you being right for me.........don't break protocol"!
And actually we did meet the next night after his mail and it was very nice and we laughed and had fun.
V.
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ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 41 online now!
| To me, saying you are real can be way different that the perception of reality. I don't feel anyone can "dub" themselves as real. One persons reality might not coincide the reality of the group. All anyone can really be is honest and authentic and attempt to mesh with the fabric of perceived reality.
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knittinkitten
Lady Lake, FL
age: 72 online now!
| I truly believe that many of us on here ARE real. There are so many factors that we have to take into consideration, though, and, sometimes I notice that it's difficult for some to keep a positive attitude.
May I urge all to keep in mind that when someone with whom you are corresponding seems hesitant, try to understand that they MAY have, in fact, been the recipient of attention by scammers and players and are trying NOT to blame the NEXT person for what the last person has done.
For example, it is MY opinion that women might have more to lose than men....I prefer to receive HIS phone number, place a *67 in front of it and make a "restricted" phone call for the first couple of times, til I am convinced that we BOTH wish to meet. On a couple of occasions, the MEN were so wary that they told me that if I was "being so secretive, they wondered what else I had to hide" and they refused to continue conversation with me. My immediate thought was, "How would they like their sister, daughter or MOTHER to have handled the situation?" THAT HURT! Was I out of line? I DON'T THINK SO.
As you already know, there are so many age differences, location problems, along with just plain differences in what people are looking for. Yes, there are players and scammers. I've certainly had contact with several. I have learned to keep my own feelings at a low key until AFTER meeting the men who have shown interest in me. I have found the ones whom I have met to be very nice men....but, the unexplainable "chemistry" just was not there. I believe, that is beyond our ability to predict, and, I accept that.
Not answering all mail....there are different opinions and I respect them. I try to answer all, but because of the volume I receive (Nope, not ALL prospective suitors....remember, I AM a forum poster), I have had to limit myself lately. I definitely answer all respectful messages. I am no longer answering simple winks...they tell me nothing. May I suggest that people who wish to use winks, accompany them with a short note..mentioning at least SOMETHING that tells the receiver that you have read their profile. For example, if I receive a wink from a SMOKER, I KNOW he has not read my profile. However, on the chance he might be trying to quit (I remember those days), I'm willing to start a correspondence, if he tells me.
Try not to be discouraged, and if you do your best to show the recipient of your messages that you are sincere, I'm betting that your RESPONSES will be better. Men, take some time to fill out your profiles with detailed info on YOU....It will be worth the effort...Trust me. I probably speak for many women....DID NOT SAY and PLEASE ASK ME, are NOT what we want to see when we take the time to look at your profile.
Sincerely,
Knittin kitten 
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epiphany4me
Bullhead City, AZ
age: 47
| I think all of us here are real in their own way!
Some are REAL sweet.
Some are REAL kind.
Some are REAL assholes!!!!!! 
[Edited 4/29/2008 7:57:34 AM]
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luvinlifetou
Biddeford, ME
age: 41
| I wrote him back and said, "obviously you are new here, this is how we do it on DH....we wink, then chat for three months back and forth and then talk ourselves out of you being right for me.........don't break protocol"!
Vitru...that...was priceless..  .I will have to post that one on my blog...if you dont mind. .I will quote the author....
There are tons of real people on here. I found a fantastic, wonderful man who is real, with a heart of gold...right here in my own state...we have been dating...we are developing a relationship..and I found him right here on DH!!!!!!!!
I dont post all about him because last time I did that I got flamed by some people and it started the end for that relationship..which was doomed anyway..but..thats hindsight.
At the time I was heartbroken.
Now...we have been dating long enough and hes been around DH long enough to see the patterns...the bickering...(of which, yes, I am guilty of on occasion, but I try to be a good girl...I really really do!) But real people are not perfect.
so Im not afraid to say that CaptainSmooth is not only an awesome man, but a funny, smart person who sees the truth for what it is!!!!!
Theres some awesome ladies and men on this site... Real people behind real profiles...looking for real relationships.
You have to sift through the chaff to find the wheat...
but the sifting can be fun, and its worth it in the end!
Hang in there..just keep being you...you will find someone!
Im still LMAO @ Vitrus wit..........
Luvin
[Edited 4/29/2008 12:36:32 PM]
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