The opinion replies

4/30/2008 5:54:12 AM	The opinion replies
akashaman Brunswick, OH age: 29	Sorry I did not see the threads earlier, Striker, if I would have I would have commented, as I really like the subject. I have been spending most of my time outside as the weather is finally a glorious thing to behold. I agree that people need to take responsibility for themselves as well as their thoughts and actions. The concept that the person leading you astray is the one who will pay for the crimes, I feel, has been grossly misinterpreted. Could it not be said that regardless of what others think and feel and do, that ultimately the choice as to what we believe and how we behave is up to us. I guess what I am saying is with this in mind, technically a person leads themselves astray. In terms of being a warrior, I also feel the importance of this also. I would have to say that I have decided to become a peaceful warrior, working toward love, health, and the ability to live in dominion with all that surrounds me. My battlefield being as much of existence as I can be in tune with. I am not on any particular quest other than to enjoy life as fully as possible, for the rest is just distraction. Any how that is JMO
4/30/2008 1:00:20 PM	The opinion replies
nwiowa Cherokee, IA age: 53	That sounds like a great plan of action! Think what our world would be like if everyone took that approach to life! Man I would see an amazing transformation in my life if everyone, me included did exactly as you say! I'll have to approach my coworkers with this idea, we so desperately need to embrace this philosophy! Thanks!
4/30/2008 8:40:01 PM	The opinion replies
queenofhearts61 Seymour, IN age: 63	I so much agree Shaman. This live is for living and the enjoyment that we can find in it.
5/1/2008 4:33:49 AM	The opinion replies
striker29527 London, KY age: 46	that is all any of us can ask for in life, queeny! when those were written, I was doing what I could to deal with the nastiness in my life. many hugs to you for the choice of being a peaceful warrior. the truest of warriors, is the one that keeps peace in his heart at all times!! I don't remember who said it, but, "A warrior prepares for battle every minute of his life, but he keeps within his heart the one thing that we all pray for. PEACE!" [Edited 5/1/2008 4:38:40 AM]
5/1/2008 5:53:10 AM	The opinion replies
wolffdream Billerica, MA age: 57	Once again shaman, pearls of wisdom... Can I plug your book here? (check out shamans profile for link to his published work).. I have found that most people can not see the brilliance of the stars until they find themselves in the darkest of nights. May you continue to light the way in word and deed. Blessings my friend.
5/1/2008 12:12:28 PM	The opinion replies
akashaman Brunswick, OH age: 29	My humble thanks to you! I have found it easier to be a peaceful warrior. The reality of a battle is that one is fighting themselves... as well as peace. Now, I find that incredibly difficult LOL. Besides, there is too much life to explore to even bother.
5/8/2008 11:26:15 AM	The opinion replies
charmie Glasgow, MT age: 62	Ah, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior-----My son moved out today to his own place. He is 32 and has tourette's, without the utterances. As a gift I gave him Dan Millman's book. In another vein: Question for you all, especially Akashaman----- I am involved in helping an adult understand morality, and gaining the understanding of Right Living: how what we do generally affects others now or down the line. This person is in therapy and I am his advocate. I need help with this as he seems to 'get it' for a few weeks or months and then he will do something that is totally out there. For instance, he told his therapist and myself a huge lie in session this week. He admitted it was a lie during the session. He says he does not know why he lies but he thinks it 'gets him out of a tight situation'. She and I had a meeting re his progress and while there is some being made, he still behaves in ways he clearly intellectually understands as "wrong". He does them anyway without thinking he claims. He is 65 yrs old and cannot live on his own so is in a home. He is articulate, bright and intelligent, but his therapist and I are beginning to think he is spinning us during the sessions. He had a long career in business and did very well. he was married for 38 yrs and had one child. I am beginning to think he is only going to progress as far as he has but she and I are not quite willing to maintain status quo yet. Any advice on getting through to someone who you know is spinning you, and believes he is fooling the therapists? [Edited 5/8/2008 11:29:13 AM]
5/9/2008 5:55:47 AM	The opinion replies
akashaman Brunswick, OH age: 29	Charmie, great book, I still have a copy around here somewhere. Dan Millman put out a second book, but I can't remember what it was called. I have to be somewhere shortly, but I do have a few suggestions for Mr. Spin. LOL, thought that would be an appropriate way to refer to him, hope it is nonoffensive.
5/9/2008 6:55:42 AM	The opinion replies
charmie Glasgow, MT age: 62	Not offensive at all and I really would appreciate your take on this problem patient. He called the clinic yesterday and told the receptionist he was not coming back...buthe has done that several times before and he always returns.... Anthing helps. Sometimes objectiveity leaves the room.... Thanks.
5/9/2008 6:15:45 PM	The opinion replies
akashaman Brunswick, OH age: 29	The first thing that comes to mind is when you said he made the statement 'it gets him out of a tight spot'. Did you ask him what tight spot he is in that he needed to lie to get out of it? It really depends on the individual but one way to handle it is to constantly challenge his responses (gently) when you are able to catch him in his fibbing. This may eventually lead to the root of his insecurity. It may be nothing more than he feels weak for needing the help, the lies may allow him to live in an illusion in order to buffer his ego. He may be scared and doesn't really now how to respond honestly. Ask him if he trusts you. If he says yes then ask him why he lies to you, and that it makes it hard for you to trust him. The same could be done substituting the word respect if that is more appropriate. If he says no, ask him why etc. Most importantly let your intuition guide you as to when to push and when to praise. Study his body langauge when he is lying, is he nervous, agitated, overwhelmed. Any sign of what he is experiencing when it occurs is a potential clue as to what is causing it, and how to remedy it. I suppose what I am suggesting is that you address the issue fairly directly and through observation and based on his response you should be able to figure something out. I really hope that was helpful to you, it is difficult without actually knowing the individual, without the ability to tailor make it. If you are unsure about anything please ask for clarification. Let me know if this at least brought a new perspective to the situation. I would also like to recommend a book... if you haven't already read it. "I'm okay, You're okay" by Thomas A Harris MD
5/11/2008 9:30:48 PM	The opinion replies
charmie Glasgow, MT age: 62	Thanks for the insights on this guy. (I have read the book, also) He is dx'ed as a borderline personality (BPD)but seems to be responding to therapy pretty well. He has been in group and with the therapist and myself for almost a year now. I see changes for the good, but then there are those weeks..... BPD is a very tough one, and most do not make it through completion of therapy, and for a lot it goes on lifetime. I am also working with a young woman who was badly abused as a child and is clinically depressed...she is doing well at this point. Life.
5/12/2008 6:16:02 AM	The opinion replies
akashaman Brunswick, OH age: 29	If he has BPD then I would certainly say that chances are he needs gentle but firm encouragement. In short, he is incredibly fragile, and his lies are more or less going on to protect himself from facing the pain that is involved. And he is probably shaky on the trust issue. Kudos to you for working in the field that you do. I don't know if I could emotionally handle it myself. Life
5/12/2008 9:05:31 AM	The opinion replies
queenofhearts61 Seymour, IN age: 63	My youngest daughter has been diagnosed BPD. I am not sure of the symptoms but she is paranoid, always thinking people are treating her badly. She thinks nobody likes her and they are out to get her. When she tells me her problems, I make suggestions of ways she can solve them and she gets angry or finds some excuse why they will not work. Does this sound like BPD? By the way Shaman, about handling it, did you know that suicide is extremely high among those who deal with the mental problems of others? [Edited 5/12/2008 9:07:34 AM]
5/12/2008 2:58:10 PM	The opinion replies
akashaman Brunswick, OH age: 29	It does sound like BPD. I was unaware that the statistics were so high, though not surprised. The ones who are best at helping others seem to be those who have been there. It is hard enough to overcome the traumas of life without immersing oneself in a myriad of other traumas. The catch is a lot of those same people never got the help they needed themselves and had to figure it out on their own. As a result they want to share what they have learned in order to give someone else the chance at having someone there for them. Sometimes the cost to the individual helping becomes to great. Of course this is not always the case. Just an example.
5/12/2008 4:51:08 PM	The opinion replies
charmie Glasgow, MT age: 62	As for being an advocate for these folks, all I can say is that from the time I got my nursing degree, i was taught professional detachment...remember, it is thier problems (conditions), not yours. Just like when I joined the volunteeer rescue squad as a medic, we arer taught it is their emergency, not yours. if you respond tlo every patients problems or emergencies as if it were yours, you lose your clinical approach and your professional detachemnt. This gets me through my days, but every once in awhile you run across a whopper! I'm okay, feel good, all is peace.....