| 5/2/2008 9:46:18 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
bethlet
Spokane, WA
age: 49
| *took notes*
*made mental decision that I will no longer do sex doggy style for fear of having flatulence escape whilst concentrating on possibly orgasming...*
*made mental decision to never have anal sex again, due to the fact that one cannot control what emits from the rectum, especially under pressure*
*made mental decision to never again "succumb to the moment"...and instead will concentrate solely on making damn sure I do not queef - which MIGHT be confused with a fart....and making sure I do not allow my lower area to relax ANYWHERE in such a way that something might come out that would be unacceptable.*
Of course, this will render me incapable of orgasm, because one actually does have to "get into the moment" to be able to cum....but hey. The thought of having a man feel this way about me is far more terrifying than the thought of having to fake orgasm from this day forward.
I guess I better go buy batteries and learn to cry out the name "Bob" at the moment of ecstacy.....
|
| 5/2/2008 10:30:58 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
kenb5b01
Northport, WA
age: 44
| Damn guy that really blows huh... Gotta say it's never happened to me but I can imagine.
Aw hell next time go out for Chili-dogs with onions before you hook up with her, and wait until she polishing yer tool and get even.
It did cross my mind that she might have been disappointed with the size of your johnson or your performance and just wanted to end the evening early. Women sometimes use secret tactics which us guys don't always catch onto.
|
| 5/2/2008 10:36:44 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
noredneckhere
Sevierville, TN
age: 48
| Ken that would be a good point on the secret tricks thing, however, she has called several times so.........
|
| 5/2/2008 10:41:45 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
theothergman
Michigan, ND
age: 47
| Bethlet, I don't mind. I'll even feed ya Mexican prior to the event. Yeeeeee hooooo baby!
|
| 5/2/2008 10:50:25 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
jb_countryboy
Chattanooga, TN
age: 31
| It's really not a big deal. I mean the average human being farts at least 14 times a day...it's just a normal body function. Now it is a turnoff sexually, but shit happens.
|
| 5/2/2008 10:50:37 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
traveller64
Cambridge, ON
age: 44
| gman, you are so right. Been there done that, in the army MRE's 9 guys..and yes it does burn with a blue flame. Leaving a fart into the elevator is great. Not only will the first to enter gag, but when someone else gets in, what is he going to say? "Um, the fart was here before me"? Farting in the pool is okay too, just have to bite the bubbles and be friendly!
|
| 5/2/2008 11:01:46 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
noredneckhere
Sevierville, TN
age: 48
| Actually, she is a nice girl, maybe I'll show her the error of her ways. Have been reading up on "dutch Oven" techniques
|
| 5/2/2008 12:43:31 PM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
danibaby1
San Diego, CA
age: 23
| LMAO!!!!!!!!! @ cloud...hilarious    
|
| 5/2/2008 1:30:11 PM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
kissssska
Berlin, CT
age: 43
| Men fart too, and I was a witness to that..... I knew one man who farted in elevators for fun.
|
| 5/2/2008 6:45:58 PM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
sarahrararara
Corvallis, OR
age: 25
| now that's my kindda guy!
|
| 5/2/2008 6:51:37 PM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
jimmyallen
Equality, IL
age: 44
| Come on everyone, It's just another a**hole talkin shit
|
| 5/2/2008 7:09:03 PM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
johnpossum
Inman, SC
age: 37
| i must say thks for the laugh my side hurts now, but what you should have done is rolled her over and plugged that thang,
|
| 5/2/2008 7:17:18 PM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
jakoog
Circleville, OH
age: 38
| At least it didnt have lumps!
|
| 5/2/2008 8:18:17 PM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
velaine
Valley, NE
age: 41
| Why is it when men get together and fart it is so funny to them? Some even have contests.
And if a woman does it, she is not considered a lady?
My sons tell me holding a fart in is not natural, that it makes them sick. I tried to explain that women do not fart, but they did not believe me.
If us women have to hold them in, then you men should give it a try as well, at least for the first couple of dates. Or at least warn us to get out of the way.
|
| 5/2/2008 9:28:05 PM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
kgearly1021
Valdosta, GA
age: 48
| My son says women don't fart they poot!
|