| 5/1/2008 5:41:45 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
noredneckhere
Sevierville, TN
age: 47 online now!
| About 10 day ago, I went on a date, first one with this particular girl. Had a reasonably good time, pretty much the usual, however, she said she wanted to take some semi erotic pics, silhouettes etc. So, of to her house we go, did the pics (came out WAY better than I thought) anyway, we end up horizontal, etc and as wer'e doing it doggy, she says "Spank me!" (God Bless her). So I did. One good smack. A half second later, as though in reply, (I'll put this delicately) she tooted. Actually, more like a foghorn. Maybe more like the noise Godzilla makes. At this point I'm sympathizing with the helplessness of others who have been shot at point blank range. And obviously the evenings shot, there isn't enough viagra and porn on the planet to save it, since I can't help but crack up just looking at her. And the worst thing about it is, it seemed like she didn't even try to, you know, choke it off. Also, get this, she's a semi tree hugger type, who was squawking about global warming, greenhouse emissions and so on. So if anyone can advise on how I can stop myself from thinking of this for the next time, like when they advise people who are nervous about public speaking to imagine the audience in their underwear, let me know.
[Edited 5/1/2008 6:00:10 AM]
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| 5/1/2008 5:48:36 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
lonesomeloser
Louisville, KY
age: 49
| Take her to the woods...get her to hug the first nice sized sycamore, be sure ya got a cork and some super glue, and introduce her to the beauty of nature...possibly with the sound of duelin banjoes playin in the background...ya know, to set the mood....maybe a squeal or two wouldnt hurt...just a thought...
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| 5/1/2008 5:57:51 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
noredneckhere
Sevierville, TN
age: 47 online now!
| Well, she did have "purty teeth"
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| 5/1/2008 5:59:09 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
lonesomeloser
Louisville, KY
age: 49
| Were those teeth the purdiest ya ever cum across?
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| 5/1/2008 5:59:16 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 41 online now!
| You must've really made her comfortable, lol So did is smell like babies breath? 
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| 5/1/2008 6:01:20 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
countryboy0292
Louisville, GA
age: 38
| i dont have alot of pet peaves but one i do have is,i can be with a woman who farts in front of me that is just nasty!!!! i dont want a woman that feels comfortable enough around me to fart,thats just nasty!!!!
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| 5/1/2008 6:01:51 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
noredneckhere
Sevierville, TN
age: 47 online now!
| To say the least, never did get to the cumming on the teeth thing
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| 5/1/2008 6:10:04 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
theothergman
Michigan, ND
age: 47
| ROTFLMAO!!! That's just rich. I've had em back into me when they're sleeping and we're all snuggled up together, and fart. Damn women, they don't fart all day long and then when they go to sleep, it all comes out. My ex chased the dog out of the room when she was pregnant. That woman could fart with the best of them, and took pride in it to.
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| 5/1/2008 6:10:47 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 41 online now!
| i dont have alot of pet peaves but one i do have is,i can be with a woman who farts in front of me that is just nasty!!!! i dont want a woman that feels comfortable enough around me to fart,thats just nasty!!!!
Oh c'mon that can't be a dealbreaker in a relationship! It's a bodily function and we ALL have flatulence. Stuff happens, giggle about it, hell have a contest about it and move on, sheesh. 
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| 5/1/2008 6:13:40 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
brendaj
Savannah, GA
age: 44
| Sorry, got no advice, but thanks for the laugh. This will last me all day!
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| 5/1/2008 6:15:19 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
lonesomeloser
Louisville, KY
age: 49
| brb, gotta go fart....
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| 5/1/2008 6:19:02 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
countryboy0292
Louisville, GA
age: 38
| sorry ge0ge, man i have a weak stomach and i couldnt handle it. dude i can tolerate alot of things but farting is not one of them!!!
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| 5/1/2008 6:32:41 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
ccubedccc
Denver, CO
age: 54
| Your adventure story just made my day.
Thanks for the laugh. 
Unfortunately, farts are part of life. I have to accept it and move on. It's not like I've never farted at the wrong time and the wrong place. Some are just more embarassing than others.
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| 5/1/2008 6:38:54 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
theothergman
Michigan, ND
age: 47
| What's funny is dropping the fart bomb in Wal-Mart or a grocery store and moving down the aisle and watching the people walk into the gas cloud. Looks on people's faces is priceless. 
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| 5/1/2008 6:57:03 AM | New Asshole Topic or "My Date Disaster" | |
rosieone
Wrightsville Beach, NC
age: 27
| Id post a reply but I've gotta get outside fast
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