| 5/1/2008 1:52:38 PM | Mental Hospital Phone MENU | |
silkpanties53
Baytown, TX
age: 53 online now!
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Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you .
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call .
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship ...
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696 .
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep . Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry ... You won't be crazy forever .
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
This coming week is National Mental Health Care week .
You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care ...
Well, my job is done .. . . . . Your turn!
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| 5/1/2008 1:54:58 PM | Mental Hospital Phone MENU | |
kegleaves
Mount Juliet, TN
age: 29
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Have you ever been on hold with southwest??? after 20mins on hold is said if youve been on hold for a long time press 8,,, It wont do anything but it will make you feel better
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| 5/1/2008 1:56:39 PM | Mental Hospital Phone MENU | |
stormygrl
Longmont, CO
age: 42 online now!
| That's too funny....
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| 5/1/2008 1:59:33 PM | Mental Hospital Phone MENU | |
silkpanties53
Baytown, TX
age: 53 online now!
| keg is that true
never done it
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| 5/1/2008 2:00:21 PM | Mental Hospital Phone MENU | |
meh777
Midland, TX
age: 30
| lmao how funny keg
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| 5/1/2008 2:00:50 PM | Mental Hospital Phone MENU | |
kegleaves
Mount Juliet, TN
age: 29
| yes its true... Found out about it cause my mom was trying to see about a flightplan
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| 5/1/2008 8:29:25 PM | Mental Hospital Phone MENU | |
mezentiangate
Colorado Springs, CO
age: 55
| I should have a questionaire for any woman I meet here ... more subtle, however, cant let her in on the fact I might use her answer for my nefarious ends
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| 5/1/2008 8:32:48 PM | Mental Hospital Phone MENU | |
uh_huh
West Palm Beach, FL
age: 35
| 9.............what?...
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| 5/1/2008 8:35:24 PM | Mental Hospital Phone MENU | |
wonderturtle
Overland Park, KS
age: 41
| I actually had this list on my answering machine til my Dad suggested very strongly that I remove it..didn't sound very professional . LOL
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| 5/1/2008 8:35:54 PM | Mental Hospital Phone MENU | |
britbrit
Gloucester, MA
age: 22
| HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAH
love it! I gotta show this to one of my students.... shes defintely a fruitloop! there that will be my part in the mental health month thing!
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| 5/1/2008 9:12:13 PM | Mental Hospital Phone MENU | |
chopperbabe
Overland Park, KS
age: 47
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| 5/1/2008 9:13:04 PM | Mental Hospital Phone MENU | |
slappywag
Bac Kan
Viet Nam
age: 88
| Hope you come up with a really funny one for those who are mentally retarded and those with terminal cancer as well. Barrel of laughs.....
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| 5/1/2008 9:15:06 PM | Mental Hospital Phone MENU | |
chopperbabe
Overland Park, KS
age: 47
| Laughter is the best medicine. If you can't laugh at things going on in the world then the world seems pretty dim.
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| 5/1/2008 9:18:30 PM | Mental Hospital Phone MENU | |
slappywag
Bac Kan
Viet Nam
age: 88
| Laughing at things and laughing at people are very different things- jmo
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| 5/1/2008 9:19:51 PM | Mental Hospital Phone MENU | |
wonderturtle
Overland Park, KS
age: 41
| Even in my Dad's sickest times..he was a barrel of laughs..Whilst waiting for his quintuple bypass..we had too many family members visiting him at once..so we over took the hallways and family rooms..LOL..there was soo much laughter and sharing and good times..we almost forgot we were in a Hospital awaiting them to Split Dad open and shut down his heart for a few hours to repair him.
8 years later..he is quite alive and well , and I believe we owe at least a little bit of it to not taking every thing soo seriously..take time out to laugh..it makes your face happy.
[Edited 5/1/2008 9:20:30 PM]
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