| 5/2/2008 11:45:20 AM | What's up with this? | | 
gabulldog001
Augusta, GA
age: 42
| I am new to DH and online dating in general. Last week I got an email from a lady on here. I checked out her profile and she was very attractive, with many similar interests. I emailed her back then we chatted. At the end of the chat I asked her out and she agreed. We exchanged names and phone #'s and made plans to meet. I called her the day before the date to confirm the plans and say hi, but I didn't get her and left a message. After calling her I got on DH and found that she emailed me and said that she had to work and had to cancel. She said maybe next weekend would be better, and we could chat some until then. I sent her an email saying that I understood and hoped that she didn't have a change of heart. I thought that maybe since we had only chatted briefly before planning a date she had changed her mind or din't feel comfortable. I know that nowadays women have to be careful meeting strangers and I wouldn't want her to feel uncomfortable, so I was ok with postponing. I also understood about having to work. She sent me an email assuring me that she wanted to go out, but because she is new at her job she felt she couldn't refuse to work, but she wanted to chat.
Now it has been almost a week and I have heard nothing from her. My last 2 emails have gone unanswered and I am wondering if she is not interested. I have not called her since she cancelled the date. I figured it would be best to keep things strictly online until I am sure she is ready to take it further. I think maybe she regretted giving out her name and # so soon. I don't want to seem like a stalker calling and emailing if she is not interested, but everything she said sounds like she is.
What do I do? Do I assume that she wants nothing to do with me? Do I email or call? This online dating stuff can be very complicated.
| | 5/2/2008 11:52:39 AM | What's up with this? | | 
curious70000
Wyandotte, MI
age: 46
| HHHHHhmmmmmm??? that's a toughie, since she did give you her phone number, i'd probably leave one more message, with something like..Miss talking with you, hope everything is okay, give me a call back when you have a chance, 676-5565.. (0f course inserting your phone number, which you do again, just in case she had lost it, or would in the future use losing it as an excuse) this will take the guessing out of it. Then just keep an eye on your e-mail for a reply, and your phone for a call back, then you will know soon enough if she wants to pursue it or not,,, if not, don't worry about why, just move on.
| | 5/2/2008 11:56:27 AM | What's up with this? | | 
sapraim
Minneapolis, MN
age: 33
| Try one more of each and explain that if she does not contact you that you were very interested, But you could not allow your heart to hurt any further and you will give her a day to reply if she is really interested.
| | 5/2/2008 11:57:19 AM | What's up with this? | | 
ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 41 online now!
|
What do I do? Do I assume that she wants nothing to do with me? Do I email or call? This online dating stuff can be very complicated.
The best thing you can do is not sit by the phone waiting. if you've got something else to do then go do that. Stuff happens and it's pointless to dwell on it. If she's interested and sincere, she'll call you or e-mail you to let you know what the dealio is. If not then chalk it up as her being flaky and move on.
| | 5/2/2008 12:00:36 PM | What's up with this? | |
ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 41 online now!
| Try one more of each and explain that if she does not contact you that you were very interested, But you could not allow your heart to hurt any further and you will give her a day to reply if she is really interested.
I'm sorry but that would make you sound smarmy and needy. And ultimatums are probably the worst thing anyone can give in any situation, period.
| | 5/2/2008 12:10:37 PM | What's up with this? | | 
ann38
Ellijay, GA
age: 38
| Can not believe I am goling to say this but I agree Put your energy in more productive things don't spend your time wondering about the ones who don't make a effert to get to k now you as the sweet guy you seem to be. Try your hand at getting to know someone else that you might want to get to know. Sure life gets busy with family life and other committments you have in your life but it is no excuse for rudeness. They are other fish in the sea and if it is meant to be it will come back to you later.
| | 5/2/2008 12:18:31 PM | What's up with this? | |
curious70000
Wyandotte, MI
age: 46
| Try one more of each and explain that if she does not contact you that you were very interested, But you could not allow your heart to hurt any further and you will give her a day to reply if she is really interested.
I'm sorry but that would make you sound smarmy and needy. And ultimatums are probably the worst thing anyone can give in any situation, period.
Agree with GeoGeo completely, i didn't see the OP say his heart is hurt, or anything else for that matter, just confused, anyone who's heart would be so "hurt" would red flag me that they have some major emotional issues, if not mental problems?
| | 5/2/2008 12:32:51 PM | What's up with this? | | 
gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 45
| I would also be of the impression that you shouldn't dwell, nor try to form a conclusion on how little you know...does it matter? Maybe. But then ask yourself - why does this matter so much to me?
People become busy in their "real" life.
While she may have fully intended that a "date" or "meeting" would work for her, perhaps something in her own personal life or "real world" altered.
You can't know this and really if you do not have a long or extensive relationship - you aren't entitled to be updated about her schedule and how it applies to you.
Too many times people on this site read MORE into the emails and communications that what really exists.
If she contacts you - then you can determine whether you're still interested in her.
If she doesn't contact you ever - then, assume she had a reason and it's her reason, it doesn't need to impact you at all.
Unless YOU allow it to do so.
| | 5/2/2008 12:33:36 PM | What's up with this? | |
gabulldog001
Augusta, GA
age: 42
| No, I am not hurt, a little disappointed maybe, but life goes on. I just like to know where I stand. I don't play games and not looking for someone who does. I am just trying to determine if that is what it is. I have decided that I will not try to contact her until I hear from her first. There may be a reason she has not contacted me and that is fine, but the ball is in her court and I am not waiting. I will keep her number for a while just in case.
| | 5/2/2008 12:37:52 PM | What's up with this? | |
sapraim
Minneapolis, MN
age: 33
| Damn Thanks for making me feel worthless everybody
| | 5/2/2008 12:45:48 PM | What's up with this? | |
curious70000
Wyandotte, MI
age: 46
| ((((((((((( Sapraim )))))))))
[Edited 5/2/2008 12:46:48 PM]
| | 5/2/2008 12:48:23 PM | What's up with this? | |
curious70000
Wyandotte, MI
age: 46
|
[Edited 5/2/2008 12:50:07 PM]
| | 5/2/2008 12:51:44 PM | What's up with this? | |
curious70000
Wyandotte, MI
age: 46
| ((((((((( Sapriam )))))))))) cyber hug..... lol, not worthless, come on, pull up those boot straps, chin up, some just didn't agree with you, hell, you should have went through what i have on here a few times over those who disagree'd with me, i've had my cyber ass kicked by some of em in here for my opinions, lol...at least your not a shadow they just less than eat you alive or black ball your ass pretty bad ( wah, wah, wah,[fake whine]) got to have some thick skin around these parts, most have a bark worse than their bite? Anyway i do stick by if someone is so tragically hurt by cyber e-mails and cyber "relationships" something is very off? ( waiting to get my ass kicked again)
now that was weird, i had this post all printed out and it wouldn't send anything but Saps name in parentheses,, i did have an arrow pointing to the (((( )))) implying it to be a cyber hug, thought, well try taking that out and it might post, and it did, sorry about all the edits, it was weird, i thought it might be all the (((( ))) or [[[]]]], and maybe the less than arrow that was causing a glitch,,,for such a computer idiot, i was rather shocked that i was right, i deleted the less than symbol and it updated,,, too weird? sorry about takeing up so much room on the thread guys?
[Edited 5/2/2008 12:56:08 PM]
| | 5/2/2008 12:57:43 PM | What's up with this? | |
ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 41 online now!
| Damn Thanks for making me feel worthless everybody
You're fine. As long as you don't tell me I hurt your heart, it's all good 
| | 5/2/2008 1:41:45 PM | What's up with this? | |
gabulldog001
Augusta, GA
age: 42
| sapraim
Thanks for posting your opinion. I was looking for several points of view. How boring would life be if everyone aggreed on everything? Your opinion is just as important and valid as anyone else's. I am glad you shared it.
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