I need some good advice

5/5/2008 2:29:51 AM	I need some good advice
guy420 San Diego, CA age: 27	So I've had a lot of bad experiences, and went through years of abuse. Psychologically I'm pretty messed up. Sometimes I'm very antisocial introverted and have serious depression and social anxiety. Most of the time in my mind I'm a train-wreck but I have a job and I deal with customers and I work with people and I get by. Its just not easy to form any kind of meaningfull relationships. I feel like I try my best socially but my best is never good enough. I haven't had even one date since December of 2005. Is there any hope for somebody like me who is just painfully uncomfortable around people, for actually meeting someone?
5/5/2008 2:38:29 AM	I need some good advice
dixiethelovebug Auburn, GA age: 43	hi guy, Yes you can have a great relationship in time. You need to work on you and get yourself together first tho. Once you are happy with you mentally then you will attract someone to you physically. Dont give up, we are all messed up in some kind of way. Just gotta figure out what to do about it and fix it. JMO
5/5/2008 2:53:06 AM	I need some good advice
guy420 San Diego, CA age: 27	I said GOOD advice You are essentially saying "just fix yourself and the problem will be solved" without really providing anything of substance. It's circular logic at best and utterly useless. sorry.
5/5/2008 2:56:53 AM	I need some good advice
justmemaree Queensland Australia age: 45 online now!	maybe professional advice would better suit you!!! then everday people sharing their thoughts................. just my opinion!
5/5/2008 2:58:36 AM	I need some good advice
dixiethelovebug Auburn, GA age: 43	Until you work on you and the issues you have, well you are going to keep coming back with statements you just had. If you dont want to fix your issues then no one can help you or give you any kind of advise. Seek consuling.
5/5/2008 3:14:23 AM	I need some good advice
kgearly1021 Valdosta, GA age: 48	Quote from guy420: So I've had a lot of bad experiences, and went through years of abuse. Psychologically I'm pretty messed up. Sometimes I'm very antisocial introverted and have serious depression and social anxiety. Most of the time in my mind I'm a train-wreck but I have a job and I deal with customers and I work with people and I get by. Its just not easy to form any kind of meaningfull relationships. I feel like I try my best socially but my best is never good enough. I haven't had even one date since December of 2005. Is there any hope for somebody like me who is just painfully uncomfortable around people, for actually meeting someone? To understand me you need to know my upbringing because I had no siblings and lived in the middle of nowhere with few friends, I turned out as a somewhat shy even antisocial person. I have a small circle of close friends and thats how I like it. Im a buddhist, I like to stay zen and I really dislike drama and craziness, I've dated some psycho women who lie and cheat and freak out over trivial stuff. So I hope to avoid any of that in the future. Im a great but totally unnoticed artist, I'll probly be famous someday when I'm dead like van gogh lol. I love video games and movies and I wen't to school for years to get a career making them. I just havent had my big break yet. I take good care of myself and I look for the same in a partner, I don't mind a little extra weight, it can even be kind of sexy to have a healthy amount of body fat, just don't be a total slob, OK. If your 420 friendly thats a big plus. If your just a chill, genuine, cool person I will love you. So lets get familiar and see where it takes. us. Keep listening to the weed, dude, and every little thing will be al'ight. Don't worry about a thing!
5/5/2008 3:18:54 AM	I need some good advice
ge0ge0 Tallahassee, FL age: 41 online now!	No advice on here is going to be good enough or fix anything for you unless it pertains to the suggestion that you should seek professional help. That will serve you better than drugs or asking for advice from the anonymous on a free dating site.
5/5/2008 3:20:20 AM	I need some good advice
zeanah Clarion, PA age: 48 online now!	I see you do not want the logical advise from those who want to encourage you. You do need professional help because you are obviously not doing it on your own. First you truly have to want help or any advise or help will never work for you. In my years of experience, the only ones who recover are those that come to the place of self forgiveness, then chose to not allow any past issues to stand in their way of happiness. If you do not want to feel better, you simply won't. Some people are so used to self pity and denial of their issues, that it's what makes them tick. I am not saying you are like that, but something to ponder. Many people are depressed and put on a fake smile to get through the day. Some want attention and thrive on drama.You are certainly not alone and the only one that feels this way in the world. There is help out there with therapy and good medications that can help you through it. It is not anything to be ashamed of. Most need it and never realize it. You are at a good point to where you are searching anyway and that is a good start. You can only make yourself confident and happy and you have to want it.Make some good decisions for yourself, get some real help and if you truly want happiness and lifted out of your rut in life, it will come to you easier than you think. Don't just sit and wonder "why me"....that gets you no where. Good Luck and I hope I did not offend you in any way. JMO
5/5/2008 6:27:24 AM	I need some good advice
usakindatheart Overton, TX age: 47	So I've had a lot of bad experiences, and went through years of abuse. Psychologically I'm pretty messed up. Sometimes I'm very antisocial introverted and have serious depression and social anxiety. Most of the time in my mind I'm a train-wreck but I have a job and I deal with customers and I work with people and I get by. Its just not easy to form any kind of meaningfull relationships. I feel like I try my best socially but my best is never good enough. I haven't had even one date since December of 2005. gIs there any hope for somebody like me who is just painfully uncomfortable around people, for actually meetin someone? you say on your question, so i say: So I've had a lot of bad experiences, you said... man who hasn't? went through years of abuse, you said... man who hasn't? Psychologically I'm pretty messed up, you said... man who isn't? Most of the time in my mind I'm a train-wreck, you said... my chu chu don't chug so fast up the hill any more either Its just not easy to form any kind of meaningful relationships., you said.. right now i have such male bashing syndrome, that i question why i even try to form a male relationship I haven't had even one date since December of 2005, you said.. i realized in 2007, i did not love my cheating husband anymore. and i have not been on a real date. and i mean real one. pick me up take me some where have fun. in 25 years. I feel like I try my best socially but my best is never good enough, you said... welcome to the world of foot insert mouth syndrome. we all feel this way, but i keep trying and i keep putting my foot in mouth. but I have a job and I deal with customers and I work with people and I get by., you said, thats wonderful!! i wish i could say the same... your so lucky there any hope for somebody like me who is just painfully uncomfortable around people, for actually meeting someone? well i sure hope so, or if not, i am definitely out of luck too! here is the 2 little list you should know about women Primordial 1. women are nester's 2. women want men who will take care of them financially, shelter, food, health, physically against evil. modern women 1. respect for intelligence and ideas 2. want a man that can be financially sound, and be able to take over if need be all bills, but most women work now, so they can feed,shelter,health, themselves, most , not all. 2. respect for ideas 3. a lot of sex that doesn't have a package in 9 months. 4. non cheating male, no drugs, alcohol abuse, some women prefer not smoking, not all. now your job as a male is to have personality, class, and perseverance. and know when to say no. good luck on your adventurous hunt. remember theres alot of us out there. were good people, just got to keep are train on the right tracks and keep it moving. usakindatheart [Edited 5/5/2008 6:30:01 AM]
5/5/2008 1:04:32 PM	I need some good advice
guy420 San Diego, CA age: 27	Quote from zeanah: In my years of experience, the only ones who recover are those that come to the place of self forgiveness, then chose to not allow any past issues to stand in their way of happiness. Don't just sit and wonder "why me"....that gets you no where. Thats more like it. See good advice is out there. by the way I've had therapy, psychiatrists, hospitalization, meds you name it at this point I refuse to take any pharmeceuticals which may or may not work and may or may not have serious side effects. I feel fine when its 420 but who can stay lit every waking minute of every day, Its expensive and its obvious even to me how temporary a solution that is. If you get the impression I don't want to get better your totally off the mark, It just seems like I've tried just about everything. so anyone else have some good ideas?