| 5/6/2008 11:40:47 PM | Dating with kids | |
sweetthing3838
Porterville, CA
age: 38
| I have been single for 7 years..I have only introduced my son to one man in 7 years...Now people tell me thats rude and not right..i think its very smart and shows respect for myself and my son..what do you think?
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| 5/6/2008 11:58:13 PM | Dating with kids | |
venice427
Los Angeles, CA
age: 40
| i don't think its rude,.....
but, you might be "depriving" him of things
somebody might have to offer.....
Yes, it does show respect for yourself , your son
and the father of your son..........
tough question on a sensitive subject....
i don't think theres anything wrong with how you
handle your personal business, and at the same time
theres nothing wrong with , introducing him to men
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| 5/7/2008 12:04:26 AM | Dating with kids | |
sweetthing3838
Porterville, CA
age: 38
| My sons father has not been in the picture for many years..So its just me doing the best i can and being very cautious...Not keeping him away from things but i dont want him growing up and saying his mom brought men in and out of his life while growing uo either.
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| 5/7/2008 12:21:09 AM | Dating with kids | |
gabisanic
Pleasant Hill, CA
age: 51
| sweetthing... I am in complete agreement with you. I made the decision to start "dating" roughly 10 months ago and one of the points I am emphatic about concerning my so-called dating strategies is to not bring the kids into a relationship unless I know for certain that relationship is headed in the right direction and I have spent enough one-on-one time with the potential partner getting to know one another. There are many issues to be considered when kids are involved, and one of the most important ones is making sure the person entering the picture will be a good influence and a good and loving role model.
I have never and will never take the safety of my kids lightly or for granted. They are my life and also deserve to be in a relationship that is loving, respectful and joyful. So yes, I completely agree with you. Caution and patience cannot be overlooked nor rushed.
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| 5/7/2008 12:46:18 AM | Dating with kids | |
venice427
Los Angeles, CA
age: 40
| I can definately relate.....
my last 2 relationships involved kids...
i got "attached" to 2 of them...
during the relationship, they had an attitude
like..i wasn't gonna last. in other words...
they've been down this road before
as time passed by, i could see how it affects the kids
some of the kids,... "took it in stride".. the older ones
would usually just ...go with the flow
the younger ones .... took it differantly...
when we broke up, it felt like i was "dumping" the kids
its not only hard for the kids, but also difficult
for the adults, that become attached.....
when you break up with someone, the more time passes
the easier it gets,... but when you lose a kid,
for me... things went the opposite way..
the more time passed, the harder it got, especially
birthdays, christmas, etc......
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| 5/7/2008 1:37:08 AM | Dating with kids | |
noredneckhere
Sevierville, TN
age: 47
| What "people" say it's wrong. Good idea, what you're doing. It probably wouldn't be good for the kid to be getting attached to someone (probably because they'd be sucking up to the kid to get in your pants) only to have them disappear. Besides, very few guys like having a girl jam their kids down their throats right off the bat.
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| 5/7/2008 3:32:42 AM | Dating with kids | |
ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 41 online now!
| I have been single for 7 years..I have only introduced my son to one man in 7 years...Now people tell me thats rude and not right..i think its very smart and shows respect for myself and my son..what do you think?
Rude and not right for whom? Your child or the man you are dating or you?
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| 5/7/2008 3:38:21 AM | Dating with kids | |
flaws_n_all28
Fulton, NY
age: 28
| I don't think it's rude I think you are smart as hell, I do not bring guys into my life anymore to be around any of my kids. They have been hurt badly by loving and losing, so i tend to stay to myself.
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| 5/7/2008 6:00:43 AM | Dating with kids | |
blueyedbobbie
Poultney, VT
age: 36
| I don't think its rude either. I think its very wise of you. I will not introduce my sons to anyone unless I am sure that it is a relationship situation. I consider it respectful of my children and protective as well.
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| 5/7/2008 6:12:40 AM | Dating with kids | |
datdardood
Murray, KY
age: 46
| I started a thread asking if people thought it was better keep our kids out of the relationship for a long time or to have them involved. I did it for the most part, to give the kids out there some help, I got replies in favor of both ways and a few had good reasons for their answers.
As for me, I think your child's age has a big part to play in it first off. Younger ones should not have to get attached and lose a lot of people as they are forming their life time frame of mind.
At this point in my life my boys are 15 and 12 and I think its important to see if they are in favor of the person I have interest in before I get very attached or that person does and we find they clash with my kids.
I know for a fact that if my kids like someone they will go out of their way to show it. It cracks me up to see the things they will do and say to females that they like. meaning the few I have let meet them. but, sometimes personalities just clash. for me its best to know it sooner than later..
As for the "is it rude" question. it really does not matter what others think, its your son and you should be admired for wanting to do what you think is best for your kid/kids.
[Edited 5/7/2008 6:15:21 AM]
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| 5/7/2008 6:51:25 AM | Dating with kids | |
yolandanewell
Modesto, CA
age: 37
| No one meets my baby until I know he is worthy... sounds a bit persnickity however that's just the way that it is.
Men come and go - hopefully one day - a man will come along that will be "the one".. however until that happens.. moving forward with raising the baby with respect for her security and sense of routine... it's just the way it is!!
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| 5/7/2008 8:26:17 AM | Dating with kids | |
goodintention54
Plymouth, MI
age: 55
| Gabisanic said it all...well said man...Children in a divorce are already in such a fragile state emotionally..the thought of bringing in, and in my case a new woman, would be confusing and would put such a tremendous strain on their loyalty to their mother.
My little one's always ask me "when are you going on a date daddy"? It's then when I turn into a politician, avoid the question and change the subject.
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| 5/7/2008 8:30:23 AM | Dating with kids | |
catchureye
Flat Rock, NC
age: 32
| Gabisanic summed it up perfectly!! I totally agree with everything he said.
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| 5/7/2008 8:34:09 AM | Dating with kids | |
ptriley
Staten Island, NY
age: 47
| Almost everone here is in the state of divorce.While it is good to protect kids they should still see how it is and is gonna be.
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| 5/7/2008 5:43:12 PM | Dating with kids | |
rich1972
Bloomingdale, NJ
age: 36 online now!
| i think u are doing a good thing because its hard for kids to lose someone they care about as much as u do and its not fair to them or u at all. i wish i was as smart as u when i meet that special someone again.
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