| 5/9/2008 3:44:20 AM | You know you're having a bad day | |
ru2timid
Rockford, IL
age: 46
| You Know You're Having a Bad Day When...
Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels motorcyclists.
You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly is open or your blouse unbuttoned.
Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold.
You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.
Your income tax refund check bounces.
The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
The health inspector condems your office coffee maker.
You invite the peeping Tom in... and he says no.
The Gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money when she sees your future.
When the doctor tells you are in fine health for someone twice your age.
You call your live-in-lover and tell them that you'd like to eat out tonight and when you get home, your find a sandwich on the front porch.
It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it.
|
| 5/9/2008 4:23:27 AM | You know you're having a bad day | |
striker29527
London, KY
age: 45
| 
you'll never find a sandwich on the porch from me!!!
you may find a picnic basket though
|
| 5/9/2008 4:24:09 AM | You know you're having a bad day | |
lilreba27
Atlanta, GA
age: 48
| OMG Girl that is a BAD day 
Hope u'r not having any of those! 
Have a great week end 
Reba
[Edited 5/9/2008 4:24:32 AM]
|
| 5/9/2008 4:24:51 AM | You know you're having a bad day | |
bonsaijoe
Vero Beach, FL
age: 41
| mornin reba
|
| 5/9/2008 4:30:15 AM | You know you're having a bad day | |
katsclown1
Palm City, FL
age: 46
| you go swimming with your cell phone in your pocket
|
| 5/9/2008 4:31:43 AM | You know you're having a bad day | |
57rickie
Sioux Falls, SD
age: 57
| You wake up and realize you didn't set the alarm clock 
|
| 5/9/2008 4:33:55 AM | You know you're having a bad day | |
ldt
Houma, LA
age: 41 online now!
| when I couldn't sleep last night and have a hectic days work...
|
| 5/9/2008 4:41:46 AM | You know you're having a bad day | |
anniebrown57
Warrington, PA
age: 50
| A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door and along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house.
The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found her husband laying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle laying next to him and the patio door shattered.
The wife ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance.
Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of long steps to the street to direct the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the hospital, the wife uprights the motorcycle and pushed it outside.
Seeing that gas had spilled on the floor, the wife obtained some papers towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet.
The husband was treated at the hospital and was released to come home. After arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs and his groin. The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance.
The same ambulance crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the husband out. He fell down the remaining steps and broke his arm.
This story redefines what it is to have a bad day.
|
| 5/9/2008 4:48:54 AM | You know you're having a bad day | |
striker29527
London, KY
age: 45
| I heard that story before with a few differences.
you asked who it is the other day that had captured my heart, annie? (I didn't see it till a bout 24 hours later)
it is ru2timid! she is the one who has caught my eyes, mind and heart!
|
| 5/9/2008 4:50:47 AM | You know you're having a bad day | |
anniebrown57
Warrington, PA
age: 50
| Good luck to you both
|
| 5/9/2008 4:54:50 AM | You know you're having a bad day | |
anniebrown57
Warrington, PA
age: 50
| A Bad Day
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
|
| 5/9/2008 4:58:09 AM | You know you're having a bad day | |
anniebrown57
Warrington, PA
age: 50
| I HAD A BAD DAY
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change
the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into
Heaven, you had to have a really bad day the day you died. The policy
would go into effect at noon the following day. So the next day at
12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven.
The angel at the gate, remembering about the new law, promptly told
the man, "Before I can let you in, I need you to tell me about the day
you died."
"No problem." said the man. "Well, for some time now, I've thought my
wife was having an affair. I believed that each day on her lunch hour,
she'd bring her lover home to our 25th floor apartment and have sex
with him. So today I was going to come home too and catch them. Well,
I got there and busted in and immediately began searching for this
guy. My wife was half-naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire
apartment. But, damn it, I couldn't find him! Just as I was going to
give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that
there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of
that guy to think he could hide from me! Well, I ran out there and
promptly stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground.
But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some bushes that broke his fall
and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more, so in a rage I went
back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on to throw at
him. And oddly enough, the first thing I could grab was the
refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony and
heaved it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!
The excitement of the moment was so great that right after that I had
a heart attack and died almost instantly."
The angel sat back and though for a moment. Technically, the guy DID
have a bad day, and it was a crime of passion, so he announced, "OK,
Sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. "OK, here's the rule. Before
I can let you in, I need to hear about the day you died."
"Sure thing" the man replied. "But you're not gonna believe this. I
was out on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily
exercises when I got a little carried away and accidentally fell over
the side! Luckily however, I was able to catch myself by my fingertips
on the balcony directly beneath mine. When all of a sudden this crazy
man comes running out of his apartment and starts cussing and stomping
on my fingers! Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes on
the way down which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm
laying there face up on the ground, unable to move and in excruciating
pain, I see the man push his refrigerator, of all things, over the
ledge and it falls directly on top of me and kills me!"
The angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his
story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself.
"Very well," the angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,"
and he lets the man enter.
A few seconds later the third man in line comes up to the gate. "Tell
me about the day you died," said the angel.
"OK, picture this, " says the man. "I'm naked inside a
Refrigerator......."
|
| 5/9/2008 11:05:01 AM | You know you're having a bad day | |
ru2timid
Rockford, IL
age: 46
| Good luck to you both
Thank you annie - 
|
| 5/9/2008 3:09:23 PM | You know you're having a bad day | |
anniebrown57
Warrington, PA
age: 50
| your very welcome. nice to see people hooking up here
|
| 5/10/2008 1:56:56 PM | You know you're having a bad day | |
giftedwholesome
New Castle, PA
age: 70
| u have a bad day when ANNA REXIA WANTS 2 DO LUNCH
|