| 5/18/2008 4:47:01 AM | I love him, he loves me, but can i live without him, all advice welcom | |
bengalms
Bossier City, LA
age: 50
| Hi out there. Ok here it is in a nut shell. I have dated this guy off and on for a few years. He is a good guy. He is sweet, kind, gentle. All that women want. Here is my problem. It is not the type of love, that i cannot live without. I want the kind that when i think of that man, he is the first thing i think of in the morning and the last thing i think of at night. So what is my problem. He does not have that kiss that makes me tingle from my head to the tip of my toes, yet you could not ask for a nicer man. I am not into the bad boy syndrome either. I think you all know what I am talking about here. You want that love that is forever, and goes on and on and on. I have even told this man such. Yet he still persists. And i am afraid that sometimes in my lonliness, that i would hurt him in the long run. Advice anyone, male, female, what do any of you think i should do?
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| 5/18/2008 4:49:59 AM | I love him, he loves me, but can i live without him, all advice welcom | |
leila123
Liberty Hill, TX
age: 60
| Hmmm--- continue to be truthful with yourself and him.
In other words, be honest and walk the talk.
One-sided love can be a cruel, cruel thing so if you care for this man, do the right thing.
Leila 
[Edited 5/18/2008 4:52:17 AM]
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| 5/18/2008 5:00:33 AM | I love him, he loves me, but can i live without him, all advice welcom | |
whatsluv
Ellicott City, MD
age: 52
| Don't settle, Bengal! I'm sure he's a wonderful guy and probably deserves someone who loves him in the same way you've described. As Leila said, be true to yourself (you've apparently been honest with him). If you resign yourself to this relationship, you'll soon feel the itch.
You can't expect that magical kiss when you've constantly got one eye open!
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| 5/18/2008 5:01:22 AM | I love him, he loves me, but can i live without him, all advice welcom | |
huronearth
Beulah, MI
age: 55
| I think many might envy you for having found someone who is "good" and seems to care about you to such a degree. But... you are the only one who can answer the question about the trepidation you feel about possibly hurting him in the future. That is a definite "red flag" and would not be fair to him if you secretly feel that way. Tell him that you have the feeling that you might meet someone in the future who you would love more than he and end up leaving him... and, see if he's still interested in pursuing a relationship on those terms... if he's been as good to you as you say... I wouldn't think you would want to deceive him or "lead him on" in any way...
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| 5/18/2008 5:07:17 AM | I love him, he loves me, but can i live without him, all advice welcom | |
colleen58
Columbia, SC
age: 59
| I need to ask, and maybe you need to ask yourself, why are you on a dating site? If the love you feel for him is not the "all consuming love" that you want in your life, then I believe you have answered all your own questions. Be fair to yourself, and to him, and do what you need to do.
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| 5/18/2008 5:10:50 AM | I love him, he loves me, but can i live without him, all advice welcom | |
thepkk
Everton, MO
age: 53
| All I can say is what I have gone though. I have looked for the love you talk about for 23 years now. Heck send me the one good man and I would find the passion within. I am so lonley as I get older I wish I kept a one of them good men. IMO
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| 5/18/2008 5:39:50 AM | I love him, he loves me, but can i live without him, all advice welcom | |
shalah
Marshall, MO
age: 60
| Here you go sweetie and I am not being a smart arse here either. Think about this
You bring your man that you are dating on this dating site and give him the freedom to interact with all of the fine ladies on here.
Now think about that how would you feel if that relationship was threatened by other women?
If you had the chance to see that man through other womens eyes?
Personally I am wondering if this isnt an excuse? Are you living with this man? Are you married to him?
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| 5/18/2008 5:41:15 AM | I love him, he loves me, but can i live without him, all advice welcom | |
msdmarie
Brunswick, GA
age: 55
| You already realize you want more. So how do you think you are going to be happy if you "settle" for what you have with him? Soon, you will always be wondering if the next guy you meet could be "the ONE" and you will find yourself always wondering and looking. Will that be fair to him? Or to you? I think you already know your own answer in your heart or you wouldn't be asking. If he was truly the love you want, you would be going for it full steam ahead and not letting anything get in your way.
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| 5/18/2008 5:48:14 AM | I love him, he loves me, but can i live without him, all advice welcom | |
pureisle
Ellicott City, MD
age: 51
| You are wasting his time just to have someone around. Even if he's asking for it you don't have to do it.
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| 5/18/2008 5:48:58 AM | I love him, he loves me, but can i live without him, all advice welcom | |
bengalms
Bossier City, LA
age: 50
| What is ironic is that i have told him to put himself on some sites. I think he is actually on a site called Plenty of Fish, or something like that. But no, i don't live with him, and not, married to him, he just keeps coming back for more. I keep explaining my position. We both have pasts that are similar, and we share many things in common like caring for an elderly parent, and raising kids alone. But those are the things that good friendships do for you. He is not getting it. That is why i put the post up here.
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| 5/18/2008 5:58:58 AM | I love him, he loves me, but can i live without him, all advice welcom | |
colleen58
Columbia, SC
age: 59
| I believe you are doing him a disservice by not just ending it yourself. He'll get over it in time and move on.
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| 5/18/2008 6:04:54 AM | I love him, he loves me, but can i live without him, all advice welcom | |
lotus3
Venice, FL
age: 56
| I agree with Leila A few years back, I found myself in a similar situation..and it finally came down to the realization, that I had to be the stronger of the two, and put an end to the relationship. As much as he knew I did not love him, in the way that was needed, he always held out hope, that it would change. Stop listening to what he has to say..pay attention, and look into his eyes...you will see pain there, just as I did. It took well over a year, for this man to stop calling me..each time, he wanted to see me as a friend..well, I knew better, and I also knew if I was in the picture in any way, he would not find the love, he deserved.
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| 5/18/2008 6:05:39 AM | I love him, he loves me, but can i live without him, all advice welcom | |
shari1955
Butler, KY
age: 53
| You know one of the lest ways to get over someone is to find another and if he isn't looking that will never happen..It sounds like he is comfortable with what he has and doesn't want to make the effort to look elsewhere..Sometimes thats easier..lol
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| 5/18/2008 6:07:43 AM | I love him, he loves me, but can i live without him, all advice welcom | |
shalah
Marshall, MO
age: 60
| Do you date other people? Does he date other people? It sounds like you have a good friendship there with this man. I think that maybe your answer.
I dont know what to tell you to do. I had a man who I dated some but then realized he was not the person that I needed or wanted in my life. I told him how I felt and he kept coming back so finely I told him that I was involved with someone else.
I had been talking to a man but had not met him as yet. I just didnt wish to keep that man hanging on and hoping for something that was not going to happen.
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| 5/18/2008 6:16:53 AM | I love him, he loves me, but can i live without him, all advice welcom | |
mskitty57
Tucson, AZ
age: 58
| It sounds like you care about him as a friend and you don't want to hurt him. You have to tell him to move on because he is only hurting himself by thinking there is any future with you.
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