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Top 10 Sure-Fire Makeout Movies

You vacuumed the couch, stocked the fridge with snacks and finished doing the dishes and you’re just about to make a final decision between Animal House and Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me for your cozy movie night in..

STOP.

Now, do you really want to make out tonight? If so, then I hate to break it to you, but movie selection is key, and either one of those winners will only highlight your penchant for fart jokes.

You might want to steer clear of documentaries about starving children in 3rd world countries, serious political dramas and mind-bending psychological horror movies too. Nothing too scary, hilarious or challenging – you wouldn’t want her to be more interested in the dialogue than in the very comfortable nook beneath your arm, would you?

The good news is, there are hundreds of perfectly makout-able movies right around the corner at Blockbuster – and there are even a bunch that you will enjoy making out to as much as she will.

To save the time and trouble, here are ten of the best:

10. Solaris

– I know, you’ve never heard of it, right? That’s because no one has… but it’s a guaranteed makeout hit. Ignore the fact that the synopsis says that it’s about aliens taking over a spacecraft.

It stars George Clooney and is mostly about looking and sounding really sexy and being filled with passionate longing and restraint. Which will encourage her not to exercise any. Thank Soderbergh for the "Go for it, you only live once" subliminal cheering section.


9. Moulin Rouge

- First, you just scored major points with her because you’ve chosen a movie she LOVES. Plus, she’s seen it before – and it’s full of inspiring songs and sparkly, fanciful environments.

Turn the volume way up, and by the end of the first dancing extravaganza, she’ll already be nibbling on your ear.



8. The Thing

- John Carpenter’s 1982 masterpiece is just scary enough to encourage couch-cuddling and yet isn’t a super obvious ploy to makeout. It will work though.

You’ll probably both watch the first 30 minutes as you eat Doritos and figure out that The Thing is taking over everyone’s bodies, but there’s no real reason to pay attention once Kurt Russell figures it out too.


7. Before Sunrise

– The best thing about this movie is that nothing really happens, but there’s constant dialogue about love and living and sex and passion… so you can have something interesting to listen to while you experiment with these ideas for yourself.





6. Bottle Rocket

– This movie is one of Wes Anderson’s first, and is a major score if she’s a hip, honest type. If you already have Rushmore in your DVD collection and pride yourself on being "in the know" about "film," you can tell her all about how this movie was made before they were all stars while she is enraptured with Luke Wilson and the charming romance plotline.

Plus, the end isn’t that important.


5. Army of Darkness

– If you present Army of Darkness as one of two options and she picks it, you are really in for a good movie night. She knows exactly what you’re up to and she’s into it.





4. Any John Hughes film

– It’s always a good idea to go with an 80’s romance. It’s familiar territory and it assures her that you were thinking about what she would like when you picked out a movie. Good for you.






3. Dawn of the Dead

– The 2004 remake is perfect if she’s the type that likes horror movies. It’s scary but not terrifying – it’s not complicated, but it’s fun.

Choosing this movie establishes you as an exciting, adventurous type - and it’s perfect for ignoring the actual movie.




2. Point Break

– There’s just something about surfers robbing banks and Keanu Reeves that inspires reckless abandon. Also, you get major hipster irony points, and if she hasn’t seen it, she’ll both feel cool for watching it with you and she won’t care if she actually watches it or not.

Bonus: the sound of surf is a great soundtrack for making out.



1. Say Anything

– John Cusack’s performance as Lloyd Dobbler has been making it possible for nice guys to get with impossibly too-good-for-them chicks for almost 20 years now.

Any girl with a soul has always been looking for her Lloyd, and if you’ve been reasonably nice to her up to this point, she’ll be able to trick herself into believing that you’re him... Score one for you! Thanks, Lloyd.