Home  Sign In  Search  Date Ideas  Join  Forums  Singles Groups  - 100% FREE Online Dating, Join Now!


1/29/2013 3:12:12 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
greeneyedgirlok
Oklahoma City, OK
46, joined Nov. 2012


I read most of the responses to the thread. I see however that most women say they wouldn't ck a background! Really? This is my question to you women. Do you have children? do you just trust anyone that says "oh, I'm a good guy, I will never hurt you? blah blah.. Are you freaking idiots!!? with the technology today, why in the hell wouldn't you??? I trust my instincts, but seriously? You all have got to be so nieve.I don't care about 'OOO I trust him'....Then he turns into a Charles Manson follower and you're dead. GET a CLUE!!! I will not trust anyone, that I date w/o a background ck. You all can be stupid.But honestly, you are the dumb women that statistics talk about. Good luck in court when he hurts you or your kids..IDIOTS!!!!!! Desperation is no excuse for ignorance. WOW!!

Meet singles at DateHookup.com, we're 100% free! Join now!

DateHookup.com - 100% Free Personals


1/29/2013 3:14:34 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

eyesofmedusa
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (45,685)
San Antonio, TX
52, joined Jun. 2012


I do a background on anyone I am thinking of meeting ....even a public meet....

I have seen so many saying they won't...I agree Op...nuts !

1/29/2013 3:21:24 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

mr_imperfect
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,751)
Melrose Park, IL
55, joined Sep. 2011


Quote from greeneyedgirlok:
I read most of the responses to the thread. I see however that most women say they wouldn't ck a background! Really? This is my question to you women. Do you have children? do you just trust anyone that says "oh, I'm a good guy, I will never hurt you? blah blah.. Are you freaking idiots!!? with the technology today, why in the hell wouldn't you??? I trust my instincts, but seriously? You all have got to be so nieve.I don't care about 'OOO I trust him'....Then he turns into a Charles Manson follower and you're dead. GET a CLUE!!! I will not trust anyone, that I date w/o a background ck. You all can be stupid.But honestly, you are the dumb women that statistics talk about. Good luck in court when he hurts you or your kids..IDIOTS!!!!!! Desperation is no excuse for ignorance. WOW!!


Op here is how you solve this problem. Unless you're one I these hopeless romantic dumbasses who thinks you're I love after only 3 or 4 dates you don't let the guy know where you live or let him anywhere near you place or your kids until at least a good 6 months of dating. Once you have been together at least that long and the relationship seems to be heading in the right direction then its ok to do the background check thing and once it comes back clean then you can consider introducing him to your kids.

1/29/2013 3:24:53 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

eyesofmedusa
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (45,685)
San Antonio, TX
52, joined Jun. 2012


Nope...full name before meet....background run....then a meet....

1/29/2013 3:31:46 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

mikeinrancho
Over 1,000 Posts (1,896)
San Diego, CA
40, joined Aug. 2010


Wow you must have serious trust issues. You mentioned being hurt. I have never doubted my judgment in character so never felt the need to and so far have not been wrong. I would think if you can't trust someone you already started off on the wrong foot. And you should never bring kids into the mx until you have dated for a while and are serious. By than if you still unsure than you might be the problem and not him and may need some counseling to overcome the issues in your life.

1/29/2013 3:32:36 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

mr_imperfect
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,751)
Melrose Park, IL
55, joined Sep. 2011


Quote from eyesofmedusa:
Nope...full name before meet....background run....then a meet....

You're right eyes. Sorry for being a bonehead but I was focused on ops thinking as to why a background check should be run. Her concerns aren't so much about him being someone who abuses women as much as someone who preys on kids and unless you're a f**ktard who thinks you're inlove after only a couple of dates your new man/woman should not see or even know what your kids look like until at least 6 months into dating.

1/29/2013 3:41:34 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

eyesofmedusa
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (45,685)
San Antonio, TX
52, joined Jun. 2012


I advise all to run cks Mr.....men and women....

One man a buddy of mine was infatuated with this girl...she was stunning..and sweet as hell...but something just kept nagging the hell out of me...

I had to almost threaten his a** to run her....he did...she had warrents out the ass...shoplifting...fraud etc.. ..yeah...dodged bullet there...

One woman ...talked and dated a man for weeks..he was great with the whole family...bbq's the whole thing.....

Then her neighbor was doing a sex offender ck for the place she wanted to move to ? WHAM there he was....

Check ppl out....just saying...

Has nothing to do with trust...it has everything to do with intellect...and not letting your emotions run your life.....

1/29/2013 3:42:59 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
sharonorahs2
Over 2,000 Posts (2,122)
Wilmington, NC
50, joined Jul. 2012


OP, just remember that there are those whom have never been caught. You should always be cautious. Especially if you have children.

1/29/2013 3:43:47 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

hsprin
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,308)
Savannah, MO
41, joined Jan. 2009


Background check...seriously?

Ok so of you met someone at church, grocery store, bar, where the Hell ever...they ask you out are you going to ask their full name and do one than too?!?

Yes, there are weird people in the world and a back ground check isn't going to cure all that.

You can date someone a year and they go psycho or you could be their first flip out...just sayin

If I don't trust someone enough to agree to a date I wouldn't be going in the first place

1/29/2013 3:51:14 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

mr_imperfect
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,751)
Melrose Park, IL
55, joined Sep. 2011


Quote from hsprin:
Background check...seriously?

Ok so of you met someone at church, grocery store, bar, where the Hell ever...they ask you out are you going to ask their full name and do one than too?!?

Yes, there are weird people in the world and a back ground check isn't going to cure all that.

You can date someone a year and they go psycho or you could be their first flip out...just sayin

If I don't trust someone enough to agree to a date I wouldn't be going in the first place


If you're a good parent and don't let your dates anywhere near your kids in the beginning I can understand but once you have reached the stage where you see things becoming serious with a guy by all means for the sake of your kids do one. Better to risk offending him and losing him than to find out after the damage has been done that he's a sex offender or has a record for child abuse.



[Edited 1/29/2013 3:52:02 AM ]

1/29/2013 3:51:59 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

eyesofmedusa
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (45,685)
San Antonio, TX
52, joined Jun. 2012


Quote from hsprin:
Background check...seriously?

Ok so of you met someone at church, grocery store, bar, where the Hell ever...they ask you out are you going to ask their full name and do one than too?!?

Yes, there are weird people in the world and a back ground check isn't going to cure all that.

You can date someone a year and they go psycho or you could be their first flip out...just sayin

If I don't trust someone enough to agree to a date I wouldn't be going in the first place




Are you going out with people and don't know their full name ?

1/29/2013 3:54:37 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
cavie59
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,524)
Enid, OK
57, joined Feb. 2010


So I guess that men must provide their birth date also. I have run a background check on myself and came up with 4 other men of different ages that had warrants, one was the same age as I am. The only good thing is they live in different cities.

It has gotten to the point that a man is now guilty of being a criminal before you even know him.

I guess I need to get police records from 22 countries, 39 states, and the military, as well as a recent credit report, full health screening, and D.N.A. profile. Maybe then I could convince a woman to meet me.


The thing with background checks is they will only tell you something if the person has been caught. Case in point the Green River Killer in Washington, and the BTK killer in Kansas. Both men were model men till they got caught after years of killing.

1/29/2013 3:56:00 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

mr_imperfect
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,751)
Melrose Park, IL
55, joined Sep. 2011


Let me say this. I have nothing to hide. I would rather a woman be upfront with me and let me know she wanted my information so she could double check to be sure I am everything I say I am rather than her do it behind my back and I find out about it.

Anyone with nothing to hide especially if they are dating a person with young children would not find it offensive at all that their date wanted to be sure they were everything they claimed to be.

1/29/2013 3:59:03 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

hsprin
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,308)
Savannah, MO
41, joined Jan. 2009


Of course I know there name, my point is that not all people are bad and I am a very smart person and I wouldn't go out with someone I didn't know anything about.

My best guys friends are in law enforcement, they can tell you even if you do a back ground check you aren't still ensuring it is safe.

How many guys and girls have broke the law and just haven't gotten caught. And I guess also it depends on what part of the country you live in.

In my town people leave their houses unlocked, keys and purses in their cars. If I need to go to my friends house to get something or borrow a car etc it just there!

We also all know how to defend ourselves, trust you me, miss with me you will be on the ground before I am and theres that lil CC permit!

1/29/2013 4:07:40 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

mr_imperfect
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,751)
Melrose Park, IL
55, joined Sep. 2011


Quote from hsprin:
Of course I know there name, my point is that not all people are bad and I am a very smart person and I wouldn't go out with someone I didn't know anything about.

My best guys friends are in law enforcement, they can tell you even if you do a back ground check you aren't still ensuring it is safe.

How many guys and girls have broke the law and just haven't gotten caught. And I guess also it depends on what part of the country you live in.

In my town people leave their houses unlocked, keys and purses in their cars. If I need to go to my friends house to get something or borrow a car etc it just there!

We also all know how to defend ourselves, trust you me, miss with me you will be on the ground before I am and theres that lil CC permit!


That's a good point you could also make the argument for those that do have a record that they paid their debt to society and have changed their ways. I still wouldn't true someone I knew was a convicted sex offender around my kids if I had young ones still at home.

1/29/2013 4:12:19 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
1976irishguy
Over 2,000 Posts (2,241)
Eastlake, OH
40, joined Oct. 2012


Background checks = serious trust issues. Pointless. You date someone for a while before you bring them around your kids. Period!!

1/29/2013 4:23:00 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

hsprin
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,308)
Savannah, MO
41, joined Jan. 2009


Quote from 1976irishguy:
Background checks = serious trust issues. Pointless. You date someone for a while before you bring them around your kids. Period!!


exactly!

1/29/2013 4:23:41 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
knight_muse_25
Ventura, CA
30, joined Oct. 2012


Im nott sleeping



[Edited 1/29/2013 4:24:01 AM ]

1/29/2013 4:26:23 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

glove2040
Over 1,000 Posts (1,671)
Racine, WI
33, joined Jul. 2012


Now that's A little much for A first date..

1/29/2013 4:26:59 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
knight_muse_25
Ventura, CA
30, joined Oct. 2012




1/29/2013 4:27:21 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

mr_imperfect
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,751)
Melrose Park, IL
55, joined Sep. 2011


@1976irishguy its not about lack of trust. It's about wanting to make sure you aren't dating a sex offender or someone with the potential to be violent.

Yes the argue met has already been made that just because someone comes back clean doesn't mean they are a good person but I would rather do the check if I were a woman and find out they are clean and risk something happening down the road for trusting them than to blindly trust them and not do a check have them rape me or my child and come to find out they had been convicted before for rape or abusing a child.

1/29/2013 4:31:40 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
1976irishguy
Over 2,000 Posts (2,241)
Eastlake, OH
40, joined Oct. 2012


Natural instincts, ill stick with those before I ever run a background check on a woman I'm interested in. To each their own I guess but in my opinion if you tell someone you are running a bgc on them and they don't like it then chances are you ruin that chance you've ever had by being clean or not!!

1/29/2013 4:43:23 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

hsprin
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,308)
Savannah, MO
41, joined Jan. 2009


Quote from 1976irishguy:
Natural instincts, ill stick with those before I ever run a background check on a woman I'm interested in. To each their own I guess but in my opinion if you tell someone you are running a bgc on them and they don't like it then chances are you ruin that chance you've ever had by being clean or not!!





Most people are honest people...there are those againist the norm of course.

So let's say you met someone that you really like. You run a background check, they have something on their record. Do you ask about it? Do you assume the worst? Not like our government NEVER charges innocent people! Some charges have to be listed under certain things but it may not be what you read.

Do you know if a teenager sends a naked picture of say his gf, ex gf or just a girl around to his buddies or school etc. And that girls parents find out they can press charges and he will be marked a sex offender for the rest of his life!!! He may have done a stupid thing and he will pay for it forever.

A stealing charge could be a pack of gum and a soda.

I think the world needs just a little more common sense, guys and girls have been dating forever, you think they just now started dating now that there can be back ground checks given?!?

There's also birth control available everywhere and it still doesn't stop people from having babies that they don't want does it? Just sayin

1/29/2013 4:46:15 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
1976irishguy
Over 2,000 Posts (2,241)
Eastlake, OH
40, joined Oct. 2012


Quote from hsprin:



Most people are honest people...there are those againist the norm of course.

So let's say you met someone that you really like. You run a background check, they have something on their record. Do you ask about it? Do you assume the worst? Not like our government NEVER charges innocent people! Some charges have to be listed under certain things but it may not be what you read.

Do you know if a teenager sends a naked picture of say his gf, ex gf or just a girl around to his buddies or school etc. And that girls parents find out they can press charges and he will be marked a sex offender for the rest of his life!!! He may have done a stupid thing and he will pay for it forever.

A stealing charge could be a pack of gum and a soda.

I think the world needs just a little more common sense, guys and girls have been dating forever, you think they just now started dating now that there can be back ground checks given?!?

There's also birth control available everywhere and it still doesn't stop people from having babies that they don't want does it? Just sayin






Agreed!!

1/29/2013 5:14:01 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

pdforone
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (27,217)
Litchfield, OH
65, joined Jul. 2010


I let the ladies I have dated talk to my kids, of course mine are all adults now, but even when the first set were younger.

1/29/2013 5:16:49 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
myblessing2004
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,480)
Mannheim
Germany
41, joined Aug. 2012


Quote from hsprin:
Of course I know there name, my point is that not all people are bad and I am a very smart person and I wouldn't go out with someone I didn't know anything about.

My best guys friends are in law enforcement, they can tell you even if you do a back ground check you aren't still ensuring it is safe.

How many guys and girls have broke the law and just haven't gotten caught. And I guess also it depends on what part of the country you live in.

In my town people leave their houses unlocked, keys and purses in their cars. If I need to go to my friends house to get something or borrow a car etc it just there!

We also all know how to defend ourselves, trust you me, miss with me you will be on the ground before I am and theres that lil CC permit!


Oooooookay!


Just recently 2 women in my area were assaulted and one stabbed on their first date by someone they met off the Internet.

If a guy really wants to be with you he will understand your reason for doing one. I have done it and things I have found from being on the sexual offender registry to serving time in jail to ho'ing around on 4-5 dating sites.

You can go blindly all you want. Whatever works for you. However, people who do ones are no different than what you chose to do. Well....maybe just a bit more precautious.

1/29/2013 5:23:27 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
mysteriouscyn
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,007)
Syracuse, NY
46, joined Feb. 2012


Hi Blessing!

1/29/2013 5:25:42 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

claudius5
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (20,941)
Petaluma, CA
67, joined May. 2009


Being cautious is commendable, but background checks can be filled with misinformation. Hysteria can be just that and not everyone has any type of criminal record and you will never be 100% sure.

1/29/2013 5:26:05 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
myblessing2004
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,480)
Mannheim
Germany
41, joined Aug. 2012


Cyn

@Claud....you are right

However if two grown folk are talking to each other.....this will come up in open conversation



[Edited 1/29/2013 5:27:18 AM ]

1/29/2013 5:27:59 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

hsprin
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,308)
Savannah, MO
41, joined Jan. 2009


It doesn't mean that I am not cautious, and I am not saying one shouldn't be so. And again, I do think it has to do with where you may live.

The guy you went to school with your whole life could have a record that you don't know about, or you could just be the ONE who he starts that record with. You can also be married five, ten, twenty years and wake up one day tied up to the bed staring down the barrel of a gun!

Those of you so scared of people, if you have kids do you do a back ground check on the people your children spend the night with, or the kids you allow too date? How about we all just get ours and carry around with us to prove we may not go psycho or put on our profiles.

Also have you ever thought that is Tom Jones has a mile long rap sheet that he wouldn't use say his best friends, brothers, fathers or anybody else's name?!? You maybe going out with Tom Jones but you back ground checked Steve Johnson...again JMO, just sayin! You HAVE TO USE COMMON SENSE!!!

1/29/2013 5:30:25 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
myblessing2004
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,480)
Mannheim
Germany
41, joined Aug. 2012


A simple google search Grn

Some are paid but you can do an image google search and an info google search.

The sex offender registry is free and avail to the public as well as your state's Department of Corrections website where you can do an offender search.

^^^
Those two sites are reliable.



[Edited 1/29/2013 5:32:43 AM ]

1/29/2013 5:34:37 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

claudius5
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (20,941)
Petaluma, CA
67, joined May. 2009


Quote from myblessing2004:
Cyn

@Claud....you are right

However if two grown folk are talking to each other.....this will come up in open conversation



blessing and cyn.

Not necessarily.

1/29/2013 5:35:59 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
cavie59
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,524)
Enid, OK
57, joined Feb. 2010


Quote from cavie59:
So I guess that men must provide their birth date also. I have run a background check on myself and came up with 4 other men of different ages that had warrants, one was the same age as I am. The only good thing is they live in different cities.

It has gotten to the point that a man is now guilty of being a criminal before you even know him.

I guess I need to get police records from 22 countries, 39 states, and the military, as well as a recent credit report, full health screening, and D.N.A. profile. Maybe then I could convince a woman to meet me.


The thing with background checks is they will only tell you something if the person has been caught. Case in point the Green River Killer in Washington, and the BTK killer in Kansas. Both men were model men till they got caught after years of killing.



I forgot a few things that women might also want:

Current Interpol profile
Physiologist evaluation
Physic reading, for future outlook (i.e. The Minority Report)
Current bank statement

All this just for a date, guilty of being a man.

1/29/2013 5:38:12 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

ladyeden
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,825)
Waynesville, MO
57, joined Apr. 2008


Just meeting someone? Can't see it. Those are in public and stay in public.
Besides, how many of those make it to a real date anyway?

As long as kept completely public - I don't care, don't need to know. No different with any other casual acquaintence. Now, before they are going to know where I live or I am going in thier vehicle or out of public? Then yes, I want full name and address - verified. Nothing wrong with wanting to be able to leave a trail, let your people know who you are with and knowing yourself. If your thing is a background check, this is the time to run that as well.

1/29/2013 5:42:39 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

hsprin
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,308)
Savannah, MO
41, joined Jan. 2009


Quote from spanky250:
Just damn, now there's yet ANOTHER "rule" for dating. Seriously???

So now a guy has to pass a background check and an STD test. Then he has to get past the "3 Date/6 date/ 3 month/ whatever rule" for sex to be a possibility. And that's assuming he meets the EXTENSIVE list of requirements/preferences/qualifications, fits within the narrowly defined physical parameters that I see on so many womens' profiles, doesn't have ANY of the extensive list of "deal-breakers" I see on so many womens' profiles...

It's amazing that ANYBODY gets a date anymore...


They don't, they come online and b*tch about not being able to find a date or what not.

1/29/2013 5:56:40 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
myblessing2004
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,480)
Mannheim
Germany
41, joined Aug. 2012


Quote from claudius5:
blessing and cyn.

Not necessarily.


Claud


Well.....that is assuming all grown folk are.....well.....grown.

1/29/2013 6:16:15 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
flhreagle
Over 1,000 Posts (1,740)
Fort Mohave, AZ
51, joined Jul. 2012


I never give a strange women my real name
phone number...(tracfones are great)

address or place of employment
never use a credit/debit card on a date

always cash.

never even drive my own vehicle to a date

take a cab even if you need to park nearby and call one

Men need to protect themself at all times

women should do the same!

1/29/2013 6:47:13 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
cococharms1976
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,216)
Intercourse, PA
41, joined May. 2012


Thank goodness I dont have to do background checks because I have a private ck.

1/29/2013 6:55:00 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
helena31
Miami, FL
34, joined Jan. 2013


I have a responsibilty for myself and my son, yes I will do a background check ....they will take an std test ...

1/29/2013 8:01:13 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

audlove515
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,266)
Jasper, IN
28, joined May. 2011


Quote from greeneyedgirlok:
You all have got to be so nieve.



If you're going to call other people naive, at least spell it right.

1/29/2013 8:04:45 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

audlove515
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,266)
Jasper, IN
28, joined May. 2011


Quote from neo52:
Ran a red light the other week .
That's right ,I'm a criminal ..



Everyone loves a bad a** Neo...

1/29/2013 8:06:06 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
jjay1970
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (41,468)
Syracuse, NY
46, joined Oct. 2011


Quote from greeneyedgirlok:
I read most of the responses to the thread. I see however that most women say they wouldn't ck a background! Really? This is my question to you women. Do you have children? do you just trust anyone that says "oh, I'm a good guy, I will never hurt you? blah blah.. Are you freaking idiots!!? with the technology today, why in the hell wouldn't you??? I trust my instincts, but seriously? You all have got to be so nieve.I don't care about 'OOO I trust him'....Then he turns into a Charles Manson follower and you're dead. GET a CLUE!!! I will not trust anyone, that I date w/o a background ck. You all can be stupid.But honestly, you are the dumb women that statistics talk about. Good luck in court when he hurts you or your kids..IDIOTS!!!!!! Desperation is no excuse for ignorance. WOW!!


Chillax.

Not everyone is so paranoid that they're afraid of their shadow.

There is a greater chance you will be struck by lightning while purchasing the winning Power Ball ticket than of you dating a seriel killer.

It's okay. It is your life. Live it how you choose. Just don't climb on a high horse and look down at people who choose to live their life another way.

1/29/2013 8:07:09 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

onnightwings
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,683)
Raleigh, NC
54, joined Dec. 2009


Meh ~ even then it's not foolproof.


On paper, and public record/court system....I come out looking like a saint.

That viewpoint would be mildly deceptive, at best.

1/29/2013 8:09:21 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
fiery_beauty
Over 2,000 Posts (2,776)
Antioch, TN
58, joined Nov. 2010


Quote from greeneyedgirlok:
I read most of the responses to the thread. I see however that most women say they wouldn't ck a background! Really? This is my question to you women. Do you have children? do you just trust anyone that says "oh, I'm a good guy, I will never hurt you? blah blah.. Are you freaking idiots!!? with the technology today, why in the hell wouldn't you??? I trust my instincts, but seriously? You all have got to be so nieve.I don't care about 'OOO I trust him'....Then he turns into a Charles Manson follower and you're dead. GET a CLUE!!! I will not trust anyone, that I date w/o a background ck. You all can be stupid.But honestly, you are the dumb women that statistics talk about. Good luck in court when he hurts you or your kids..IDIOTS!!!!!! Desperation is no excuse for ignorance. WOW!!


Nah, I wouldn't do it, unless I had a reason to be suspicious --in which case I wouldn't get involved with him anyway, so it would be a moot point. Nothing naive about it. You're deluding yourself if you think all "bad men" have a record. You need to hone your people-reading skills and not rely on a background check to determine a guy's character and integrity. There are some guys who are the pillar of the community, who don't have a record -- Ted Bundy being a chief example among them.

1/29/2013 8:21:59 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
bill_i_am2
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,078)
FPO, AP
54, joined Apr. 2010


background check and then a std test, what's next ..... a credit report ?!?

oh ! wait, that's happening also ................

who says money can't buy love .......................

1/29/2013 8:24:51 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
fing_americans
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,286)
Houston, TX
50, joined Dec. 2012


..and they say romance is dead.

1/29/2013 8:41:43 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
bill_i_am2
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,078)
FPO, AP
54, joined Apr. 2010


Quote from fing_americans:
..and they say romance is dead.


i can see it now, the 21 century's very own sweep ya of your feet !

excuse me, Mame !?! here's my background check .... here's my std test result
and here is my credit report rating ..... by the way, Theadore is to formal !

call me Ted, Ted Bundy, nice to make your acquaintance, shall we take a drive .....

1/29/2013 8:45:01 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
jjay1970
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (41,468)
Syracuse, NY
46, joined Oct. 2011


Quote from onnightwings:
Meh ~ even then it's not foolproof.


On paper, and public record/court system....I come out looking like a saint.

That viewpoint would be mildly deceptive, at best.



LOL, your NEXT crime doesn't show on a background check anyways.

Unless they have predictive crime reports like the movie Minority Report, a background check is nearly useless.

Would a background check show up anything on the Sandy Hook Elementary shooter prior to his vile deed?

Nope, with healthcare privacy laws, a background check would show him as a clean cut kid, with no prior convictions, and no hint of mental disease since healthcare information is private and confidential.

So if a background check won't tell you about a potential mass murderer of children, what good is it? Sure, you might find a burglar or pervert, but the truly bad ones won't show up.

1/29/2013 8:49:56 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

kerm1528
Over 2,000 Posts (2,220)
Hesperia, CA
44, joined May. 2012


I read once that a man was labeled as a "sex offender" because he got caught pissing in the bushes.

Omg what a dangerous fiend!
Should have hanged him.
This is the world we made.

1/29/2013 8:51:39 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

barrydalmi
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (21,474)
Baltimore, MD
54, joined Dec. 2007


A total waste of time. I would also check my Picker. If you are associating yourself with people that are questionable in that respect you have bigger problems on your hands than a guys previous arrest for assualt from a bar fight in college...

1/29/2013 8:55:58 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
jjay1970
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (41,468)
Syracuse, NY
46, joined Oct. 2011


I wonder what would show on a background check for John Rigas, Bernard Ebbers, Kenneth Lay, Bernard Maddoff, or Ben Roethlisberger?



1/29/2013 8:57:59 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

barrydalmi
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (21,474)
Baltimore, MD
54, joined Dec. 2007


This whole idea is along those lines of the paranoid [women it tends to be] who think they are going to encounter a serial killer on a dating site...has it happended- sure it has.

People also win the Powerball. I'm okay with the odds.



[Edited 1/29/2013 8:58:38 AM ]

1/29/2013 9:02:13 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
jjay1970
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (41,468)
Syracuse, NY
46, joined Oct. 2011


Oh no, a commercial airliner crashed in 1989 in Panama.

Can't fly now. Too risky.



1/29/2013 9:34:23 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
lollilover
Valparaiso, IN
29, joined Dec. 2012


Background checks don't mean diddly squat. People can learn from their mistakes and even if you do find someone without a record, who is to say you won't be the first person they start with? We don't even need a background check on the original poster.
Refused to post if she had kids. They must be in jail and would shame her.
Won't post income and is 42 with a bachelor degree. Most likely poor.
Brags about dating women cause men are imperfect. And I assume women are?

I can be judgemental too you fake christian wannabe.

Background checks are for insecured, imperfect losers that want to live their lives judging others for past sins vs the Godly people they could be if given a chance. Their crap don't stink and deserve perfect blameless people to enrich their lives.

1/29/2013 9:40:28 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
blkbbw713
Over 1,000 Posts (1,108)
Sugar Land, TX
41, joined Aug. 2011


OP, some people choose to stay uninformed mainly because they really don't want to know. I would do a background check if I met them online or on the street. You really don't know people and why go in blind. There are plenty of women and men willing to knowingly date sex offenders and violent criminals. So don't worry about judging them. They will find someone to love them, probably before you do.

1/29/2013 10:35:00 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 
blkbbw713
Over 1,000 Posts (1,108)
Sugar Land, TX
41, joined Aug. 2011


@Barry. How do you and I guess everyone else, state that someone has bad picker syndrome but also shouldn't judge people on their past? How would that be possible to be accused of being a bad picker, but then find fault with judging people?

1/29/2013 10:36:12 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

pickygirl72
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,358)
Pinon Hills, CA
46, joined Sep. 2011


Sure maybe a background check would work, but problem with that is what if the guy has never been caught in (any) act. He could have never been in jail, but what about the little girl he t0uched down the street or the drugs he sells out of his house or the dude he beat up (just some examples).

Hopefully we can see any red flags and have good judgment when picking a mate. *crosses fingers* he is a good guy.

OP you would be dumb for just relying on the background check.

1/29/2013 10:49:43 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

hazeleyedgirl12
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,070)
Roseburg, OR
37, joined Oct. 2011


Quote from mr_imperfect:
Op here is how you solve this problem. Unless you're one I these hopeless romantic dumbasses who thinks you're I love after only 3 or 4 dates you don't let the guy know where you live or let him anywhere near you place or your kids until at least a good 6 months of dating. Once you have been together at least that long and the relationship seems to be heading in the right direction then its ok to do the background check thing and once it comes back clean then you can consider introducing him to your kids.

You never know about anyone. For all I know the person I am going to meet is some sort of scary stalker who has been arrested. Background checks. Even for public meets. Most everything is public record these days. Just call the county records and get some basic info. Hell you can look it up on line through the county records. Lol

1/29/2013 10:57:25 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

sherri_
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,482)
Erlanger, KY
56, joined Aug. 2009


Quote from barrydalmi:
A total waste of time. I would also check my Picker. If you are associating yourself with people that are questionable in that respect you have bigger problems on your hands than a guys previous arrest for assualt from a bar fight in college...


She seems kinda on the far end of the Drama Bar; I imagine those kinds of personalities attract those kinds of guys. She has to have enablers, after all.

1/29/2013 10:59:00 AMTo bring up the background ck thing. 

cdukshnow
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,405)
La Mesa, CA
49, joined Mar. 2010


I think it's a good idea and, while I was sneaking around a forum I am suggested not to sneak around in, I found this cool free site for checks.

http://dirtsearch.org/

I suggest you check anyone you consider having any kind of relationship with.

Thom