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4/27/2010 9:22:14 PM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
sunny_bee
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (27,226)
Torrance, CA
51, joined Oct. 2009


I know some people do consider themselves to be "dating" or even in a relationship but they have yet to meet. I have a difficult time with the concept. There is just no way to know if you are going to have the chemistry if you haven't met.

I might add, I have had online interactions with people with whom I have been intrigued, yet the minute I heard their voice on the phone I knew there could never be anything there. Even people that I have had chemistry with on the phone and have met have left me less than breathless when hit with the stark reality.

Anybody agree (or more likely, disagree?)

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4/27/2010 9:56:49 PM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
admesq
Albuquerque, NM
46, joined Sep. 2008


I absolutely agree. You always hear about these internet romances where a woman packs up her kids and moves cross country to be with their "Soulmate" only to come back home a few months later. Physical interaction, i.e. meeting is ESSENTIAL to a working relationship.

4/27/2010 10:03:09 PM"dating" someone and you have never met? 

jersey_man
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (42,202)
Phillipsburg, NJ
54, joined Feb. 2010


It's not a date until you are face to face Period.

4/27/2010 10:04:42 PM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
puppystalker
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,573)
Scotts Valley, CA
38, joined Apr. 2010


sunny will u be my e-girlfriend

4/27/2010 10:27:05 PM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
76ohioman
Canton, OH
40, joined Mar. 2010


People who think they are dating even though they have never met are living in a complete fantasy world. I think people who think like this have some sort of low self-esteem/self-confidence issues and or they're so desperate that just they trick themselves into thinking they are dating or in love. That's why I like keeping texting, chatting online and talking to a minimum when I become interested with someone from online. I'd rather meet in person and see for real just how compatible we are. Relationships to me can't be based on fantasy because you're begging for it to fail. It has to be real

4/27/2010 10:33:35 PM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
doctorseuss
Elma, WA
41, joined Aug. 2009


damn....an here i was tryin to date, get married, and have kids all over the internet....

4/27/2010 11:06:27 PM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
sunny_bee
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (27,226)
Torrance, CA
51, joined Oct. 2009


Quote from puppystalker:
sunny will u be my e-girlfriend


4/28/2010 1:04:54 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
latestflame
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,038)
Germantown, TN
40, joined Sep. 2009


Physical meeting is only necessary to those who don't have the same type of skills as others. When you can't see yourself doing something of course you'll want to believe that others who can do it must have a problem rather than yourself. People in person lie constantly so it's impossible to be lied to more than "constantly" online. Online relationships may notwork out, but I have felt strong feelings for women i never met.

4/28/2010 1:05:45 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
latestflame
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,038)
Germantown, TN
40, joined Sep. 2009


Quote from jersey_man:
It's not a date until you are face to face Period.

Gotta love people thinking their opinions are fact. Many people got engaged without ever meeting and it worked out.

4/28/2010 1:07:04 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
75scott
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,983)
Salt Lake City, UT
42, joined Mar. 2010


If you can't swap spit you can't be dating.

4/28/2010 1:08:41 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
kiki_10
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,338)
Springville, UT
43, joined Apr. 2010


Quote from doctorseuss:
damn....an here i was tryin to date, get married, and have kids all over the internet....


You said you didn't want kids?

4/28/2010 1:09:16 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
kiki_10
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,338)
Springville, UT
43, joined Apr. 2010


Quote from 75scott:
If you can't swap spit you can't be dating.


Scott...open your mouth.

4/28/2010 1:13:40 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
75scott
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,983)
Salt Lake City, UT
42, joined Mar. 2010


Quote from kiki_10:
Scott...open your mouth.


Is that even legal in UT?

4/28/2010 1:22:17 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
noalco
Over 1,000 Posts (1,180)
Moberly, MO
55, joined Jan. 2010


Until you have met one on one... It's just bullshit.

Was that too blunt ?

4/28/2010 2:07:12 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
latestflame
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,038)
Germantown, TN
40, joined Sep. 2009


Quote from noalco:
Until you have met one on one... It's just bullshit.

Was that too blunt ?

Blunt. Untrue. Whatever you want to call it. Like I said, the ones who view it as unreal don't have the brain capacity to understand the realness. It takes much more energy and more of a genuinely caring side to handle something without physical and stick with it. Those who require meeting before feling are showing they really don't love the eprson, they love physicality of the person. Online you more get to know the soul assuming the person is truthful.

4/28/2010 2:13:26 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
mercedes01
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,364)
New South Wales
Australia
97, joined Jan. 2010


Our first meeting will be when he gets off that plane and makes home here in Aus with me,some laugh and scoff but each to their own and for those that find my situation bloody ridiculous then that's cool as well and you people obviously haven't found what I have



[Edited 4/28/2010 2:14:41 AM ]

4/28/2010 2:15:08 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
th6231
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (34,817)
Point Pleasant Beach, NJ
69, joined Jul. 2007


Of course I agree with you--how can anyone--in their right mind--say they are involved with someone--simply by being in contact on a site. It must be a very sad day in the trailer park to get convinced that an invisible contact is REALLY your date. You can be friends--but to be considered a couple or dating??? I don't think so. BUT--it doesn't matter about what you or I or anyone else thinks. If it is what they want and it makes THEM happy--thats all that really matters. There is no explaining what satisfies other people. They have their own circumstances and they have their own freedoms to do what they want. If it helps them feel a bit less lonely or isolated--then I guess its OK. So good luck to everyone.

4/28/2010 2:18:08 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
75scott
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,983)
Salt Lake City, UT
42, joined Mar. 2010


Quote from latestflame:
Blunt. Untrue. Whatever you want to call it. Like I said, the ones who view it as unreal don't have the brain capacity to understand the realness. It takes much more energy and more of a genuinely caring side to handle something without physical and stick with it. Those who require meeting before feling are showing they really don't love the eprson, they love physicality of the person. Online you more get to know the soul assuming the person is truthful.


It takes a someone with brain capacity to have a LDR? What the heck are you even talking about? You have to assume quite a bit to except online communication at face value. One would think a lack of thought would be a prerequisite. After all, if you think, you will question.

4/28/2010 2:20:31 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
latestflame
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,038)
Germantown, TN
40, joined Sep. 2009


As I've said in other topics, soldiers used to meet people through letters and already be engaged without having met. If both people are honest tehn online moves faster than in person and ones who need physical meeting first are really not truly loving because love is for the soul, not the body. It certainly could turn out that when you do meet them they have habits you don;t like and chemistry feels wrong, but it doesn't mean you didn't lvoe them. It means you choose physicality over love basically.

4/28/2010 2:21:26 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
latestflame
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,038)
Germantown, TN
40, joined Sep. 2009


Quote from 75scott:
It takes a someone with brain capacity to have a LDR? What the heck are you even talking about? You have to assume quite a bit to except online communication at face value. One would think a lack of thought would be a prerequisite. After all, if you think, you will question.

You can easily be fooled by someone you've met. It's no different. Look at all the killers who were the "nicest guy in the neighborhood".

4/28/2010 2:25:37 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
75scott
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,983)
Salt Lake City, UT
42, joined Mar. 2010


Can't comment of what happened in a different era. It's long gone. I have done the LDR. It takes a stong bond to make it work. Part of that is physical and part is emotional. You need both.

Haven't met any killers yet. Hey whatever works for you. It has worked for you right?



[Edited 4/28/2010 2:28:20 AM ]

4/28/2010 2:28:17 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
mercedes01
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,364)
New South Wales
Australia
97, joined Jan. 2010


Quote from 75scott:
Can't comment of what happened in a different era. It's long gone. I have done the LDR. It takes a stong bond to make it work. Part of that is physical and part is emotional. You need both.


Well we don't do the physical stuff on-line nor by phone,call us weirdo's or whatever but LDR has worked for us without that stuff!

4/28/2010 2:32:48 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
75scott
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,983)
Salt Lake City, UT
42, joined Mar. 2010


Quote from mercedes01:
Well we don't do the physical stuff on-line nor by phone,call us weirdo's or whatever but LDR has worked for us without that stuff!


This not meant to be a reflection on your life. There are always exceptions. When two people find happiness together, it's a good thing. This was obviously from my perspective. I don't consider myself a dim wit, and I have been in love. For me it requires both.

4/28/2010 2:35:37 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
mercedes01
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,364)
New South Wales
Australia
97, joined Jan. 2010


Quote from 75scott:
This not meant to be a reflection on your life. There are always exceptions. When two people find happiness together, it's a good thing. This was obviously from my perspective. I don't consider myself a dim wit, and I have been in love. For me it requires both.


I understand and hey I reckon the reason it's worked for me is because when I joined sites it wasn't because I was looking for that special someone to grow old with.If I was wanting to have someone within my life I would of joined an Aussie site

4/28/2010 2:43:00 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
75scott
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,983)
Salt Lake City, UT
42, joined Mar. 2010


Quote from mercedes01:
I understand and hey I reckon the reason it's worked for me is because when I joined sites it wasn't because I was looking for that special someone to grow old with.If I was wanting to have someone within my life I would of joined an Aussie site


Yep. You may also have pretty good luck right now. Casino time? I realize that my position could change. You never know how things turn out in life, but based on the LDRs I've been in, I do just fine locally.

4/28/2010 2:43:34 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
latestflame
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,038)
Germantown, TN
40, joined Sep. 2009


Quote from 75scott:
Can't comment of what happened in a different era. It's long gone. I have done the LDR. It takes a stong bond to make it work. Part of that is physical and part is emotional. You need both.

Haven't met any killers yet. Hey whatever works for you. It has worked for you right?

What we've done hasn't worked for either of us or it's doubtful we would be here.

I certainly would choose meeting someone first over even EVER finding anyone online. But my point is really that you have to really be strong to last online assuming yuo do believe it's dating and in reality I believe it does take more caring to make it last, so it's really more real than most "in person" relationships.

I'm sick of being online at all personally. But it doesn't change how I view relationships which have solely been online.

4/28/2010 2:43:39 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 

dougiem
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,564)
Tucson, AZ
36, joined Aug. 2009


You can't be dating somebody you've never f**king met. That's just common sense. Anyone who thinks otherwise might need a chromosome count.

4/28/2010 2:49:09 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
mercedes01
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,364)
New South Wales
Australia
97, joined Jan. 2010


Quote from dougiem:
You can't be dating somebody you've never f**king met. That's just common sense. Anyone who thinks otherwise might need a chromosome count.


I like this post

4/28/2010 2:50:52 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 

mercsman
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,773)
Oakhurst, CA
47, joined Jan. 2010


Perhaps those who feel true relationships can begin without physical contact are simply more emotionally oriented than those who don't. I am one who thinks beginning a relationship on conversation and emotional expression builds a stronger bond than a relationship begun on physical means. Hearts and minds connect in a different way for me and the physical side of things is something that comes and goes. Being able to give a massage, or a hug, or to do other physical things for a partner will eventually become not only difficult but even dangerous.

Perhaps working in the careers I have has shown me that as well as watching my grandparents age together to a point that neither is able to do things for the other as they used to... The point is if the relationship is built on communication first and grows to include the physical, I think it has a better chance of being a relationship that lasts a lifetime. So for me there remains not only hope but living evidence in my life of that truth which I hold onto. Just my thoughts.

As for has it worked for me to be in a LDR... yup, for over a year now I have grown with, learned from, shared with, and completely enjoyed getting to know a very special Lady who will always be cherished in my heart and Loved by me. Do I hope I will have the chance to do things for her in person? You bet I do, and when that time comes it will indeed be a wonderful addition to what I already see as a very real, very true, relationship.

Again just my thoughts and you have already heard hers, with which I also very much agree.






[Edited 4/28/2010 2:51:23 AM ]

4/28/2010 3:23:49 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
latestflame
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,038)
Germantown, TN
40, joined Sep. 2009


Quote from mercsman:
Perhaps those who feel true relationships can begin without physical contact are simply more emotionally oriented than those who don't.

Exactly. But as usual the majority here acts like you're got to be a nut if you don't choose solely on sex. And they can say physical doesn't mean sex, but it pretty much does mean sex or a need in some form or another.

I've lasted a LONG time online before without meeting. It drains more energy than had I really been dating in person. You have to be strong to deal with it. And now I don't want it again. I'm trying to concentrate on getting out more. But it still doesn't change that online can be a real relationship... it's just very stressful.

4/28/2010 6:45:52 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
younme36
Over 2,000 Posts (3,353)
Jenkintown, PA
56, joined Oct. 2009


Quote from dougiem:
You can't be dating somebody you've never f**king met. That's just common sense. Anyone who thinks otherwise might need a chromosome count.

this is similar to a blind date, even though you may meet, you cant say your dating

4/28/2010 7:03:15 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
musicdesign
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,312)
Moodus, CT
54, joined Apr. 2007


Face to face is the start of dating, NOT email, IM or phone. I have been greatly disappointed with meetings and realize best to meet ASAP.

4/28/2010 7:06:23 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
raen
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (66,453)
Sunman, IN
47, joined Jan. 2009


sunny baby.................i thought u loved me????
















nah i have had this convo with many ppl since i joined dh............it just isnt real til u have spent time with them face to face.....sometimes its not even real after u just meet...in order to have a real relationship there hast to be "real" interactions on a daily basis and deal with "real" life situations together....its kinda like elementary school when u see some ppl "dating" online.......





will u be my girlfriend/boyfriend


circle yes or no



btw my mom said i cant call you tonight bc we are doing yard work and ihave to clean my room.

4/28/2010 7:13:03 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
latestflame
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,038)
Germantown, TN
40, joined Sep. 2009


A lot of people on here are predictably going to go in and out of relationships constantly due to their whole "everyoen else must go by my definitions" type of thinking. Not like anyone cares what other people think of definitions, but I just think it's funny because so many people on this site think everyone else has the same viewpoint as they do. Just like people who have diseases and have no sympathy for others with it because THEY have only mild cases of it and think nobody else could be suffering.

4/28/2010 7:24:24 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 

ladyeden
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,825)
Waynesville, MO
57, joined Apr. 2008


Wont even consider a date with someone til after we've met.
Before that kept simply friendly with interest in possibilities.
I met my 2nd husband online and LDR.
We dated and then lived together for a year before marrying.

Sorry, relationships are 3-D.
It's fantesy to make it out to be more "real" than it is.
Betting the bank on someone you've not met and spent time with is insanity.
Just look at how many first meets go nyehtt.

Others mileage may vary.

LOL! Yes, I'd rather use my head and have a mild case of something than being foolish and allowing it to become terminal.



[Edited 4/28/2010 7:26:11 AM ]

4/28/2010 7:26:01 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
barrydean
Over 2,000 Posts (2,261)
Springville, UT
49, joined Sep. 2009


you can get to know alot about someone on line but as far as considering it dating, i dont think so.JMO

4/28/2010 7:35:02 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
latestflame
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,038)
Germantown, TN
40, joined Sep. 2009


Quote from ladyeden:
Wont even consider a date with someone til after we've met.
Before that kept simply friendly with interest in possibilities.
I met my 2nd husband online and LDR.
We dated and then lived together for a year before marrying.

Sorry, relationships are 3-D.
It's fantesy to make it out to be more "real" than it is.
Betting the bank on someone you've not met and spent time with is insanity.
Just look at how many first meets go nyehtt.

Others mileage may vary.

LOL! Yes, I'd rather use my head and have a mild case of something than being foolish and allowing it to become terminal.

Andddd another post lecturing others instead of simply stating an opinion.

As far as that last part... people who think they're being smarter than others usually have the bad luck/karma happen while watching those they think are dumber end up happy.

There are multiple ways to look at things. Me personally I usually bring out people's "real" sides eventually online which may not be shown elsewhere. And also I've felt stronger towards some Inever met thn people I have met. I'm speaking years removed from those situations too so my judgment is not clouded by something recent as i reflect. i simply would choose "in person", but I've truly cared about some people online. I just really think it's pretty narrow minded to think online is fake. That's what leads to these kids commiting suicide when people teased them online and whatnot.

People type online. One group knows it's real people typing. One group thinks it's fakeness and they can be asses since "the people aren't real". Now which group is the morons? Thinking online is made up of text with nobody typing it is far less sane than someone treating a person online as they would in person.

4/28/2010 7:35:27 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
mindovermatter6
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,263)
Waterford, MI
56, joined Nov. 2008


YOu can chat, and talk on the phone with someone for a long time, but if you never really meet them in person, you could be very disappointed. There not what they seemed to be.


You may not even like them in person

Mindovermatter

4/28/2010 7:57:15 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
arkansasnman
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,009)
Fayetteville, AR
54, joined Sep. 2008


The only issue I have with the question is the term, “dating”…..I think you have to have dates to be dating and that can’t happen unless you are face-to-face.

Do I think you can fall in love and make successful commitments with someone you’ve never see face-to-face?………yes.

There are different ways to connect and who’s to say that talking/communication is any less valid than physical contact.

No one thinks twice about people getting married that don’t know each other very well…..why don’t they?…..because they haven’t communicated. If communication is virtually all you do, it stands to reason that you will know the person very well.

4/28/2010 8:00:14 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
latestflame
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,038)
Germantown, TN
40, joined Sep. 2009


I don't know that i would call it "dating" exactly, but I still call it a relationship if it felt serious. I've talked to people before who got very attached to someone online also. So it's fairly common. But yeah it likely doesn't lead anywhere, but neither does most "real dating" either.

4/28/2010 8:00:41 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
the_knee_grow
Over 2,000 Posts (3,926)
Houston, TX
49, joined Mar. 2010


Although I don't personally think it is 'dating' I accept others might see it that way.

It's not a new phenomenon, many many life long marriages started by young women writing to soldiers in the world wars etc who never met till years later.

4/28/2010 8:05:22 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 

ladyeden
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,825)
Waynesville, MO
57, joined Apr. 2008


Quote from latestflame:
Andddd another post lecturing others instead of simply stating an opinion.

As far as that last part... people who think they're being smarter than others usually have the bad luck/karma happen while watching those they think are dumber end up happy.

LOL! Certainly do fully expect just that to happen.

I just really think it's pretty narrow minded to think online is fake. That's what leads to these kids commiting suicide when people teased them online and whatnot.

No, it's more likely to come to a bad end when people cannot differenciate between real life and the net experience. Of course there are those that don't have a real life and the net is all they got...

People type online. One group knows it's real people typing. One group thinks it's fakeness and they can be asses since "the people aren't real". Now which group is the morons? Thinking online is made up of text with nobody typing it is far less sane than someone treating a person online as they would in person.


Just made my previous point. Many do represent themselves as they believe they are rather than playing with personas. However, many are reflecting off of fun house mirrors or simply delusional.

Now, back to the kiddie pool. You know you aren't up to tearing off a piece of adults.

4/28/2010 8:08:27 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
latestflame
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,038)
Germantown, TN
40, joined Sep. 2009


That's why I say it comes down to honesty though. If you truly are both honest online then you could deeply care about (maybe love) someone for who they are. Physicality is not who they are. That's just something surrounding their soul. But that being said... I doc are how they look and act. So i see both sides, but if i did turn someone down after meeting and I had thought I cared so much about them then it really just means I wasn't putting the right things at the top of the "importance list".

But this is a huge reason why I haven't dated anyone here. I don't want to be attached online then them turn out differently in person. I would rather somehow find someone in the real world, but kinda hard when I am not too social.

4/28/2010 8:10:19 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
latestflame
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,038)
Germantown, TN
40, joined Sep. 2009


Quote from ladyeden:
Just made my previous point. Many do represent themselves as they believe they are rather than playing with personas. However, many are reflecting off of fun house mirrors or simply delusional.

Now, back to the kiddie pool. You know you aren't up to tearing off a piece of adults.

lol you sure didn't like that I have a different opinion than you. Wow.

edit: btw, I'm annoyed by kids and find it sick anyone could even possibly be into them.. I would never even remotely think of them as anything but kids. I'll date an 18 y/o though possibly. But most of them are annoying.

edit2: I worded that weirdly. Had to reword.



[Edited 4/28/2010 8:14:11 AM ]

4/28/2010 8:20:41 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
_settee
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,608)
Flower Mound, TX
63, joined Mar. 2010


It is certainly possible to form a bond with someone on line, and care very deeply for that person. I've done it. At some point though, you have to meet to sustain the relationship. Dating by phone is a relatively new concept and must require a bit of imagination, I would think..

4/28/2010 8:27:14 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
qnofmycstle
Over 1,000 Posts (1,920)
Tempe, AZ
42, joined Dec. 2009


There's a lot to be "read" through online chat...just as someone would read someone's body language in person... not so much as what they type but how...how do they come across...then you have the phone conversations which again gives new insight...and there's the web cam... more insight... so can people develop relationships without ever meeting...absolutely...is it "ideal"... maybe not for some...
It's just a different approach...some would rather meet up in person right away...nothing wrong with that... others would rather get to know someone through their words....nothing wrong with that...! In today's "techy" world we have more options in how we choose to communicate and get to know one another, especially in LDR's for those of us who would rather not "limit" ourselves to finding a mate in our immediate surrounding areas... we all have our "preferences" in how we achieve it.... no difference in our "preference" for that... than our "preferences" in our mate...

4/28/2010 8:31:15 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
fugly_mofo
Chicago, IL
47, joined Apr. 2010


At least you don't have to worry about knockin her up

4/28/2010 8:40:24 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
qnofmycstle
Over 1,000 Posts (1,920)
Tempe, AZ
42, joined Dec. 2009


Quote from fugly_mofo:
At least you don't have to worry about knockin her up




good morning, Pablo....


Ummm not true...well...I don't how to tell you this but... you've "e-seminated" me and now I'll be needing those "e-checks"...thanks... no worries you've got "e-visitation"....

4/28/2010 8:41:21 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
susanhall48
Lockport, NY
36, joined Dec. 2009


You can only date in real life.

I cannot even fathom calling someone you have never met in real life a friend - they at best are a pen pal or telephone buddy.

4/28/2010 8:44:02 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
shelybean
Goldsboro, NC
48, joined Feb. 2010


If you aren't getting out on dates, then how can it be dating? LOL

Sure you can be getting to know someone and feel an initial connection mentally - at least what they want you to see or how they see themselves. It is sooooooooooooooooo freakin easy for someone to lie and make up anything they think you want to hear.

I get misunderstood on here a LOT because people can't see my body language and know I'm teasing or laughing and joking a lot of the time, so I know how easy it is for people to not see the real person when they can't actually SEE the real person. I do not always speak as others do and confuse many - that gets magnified through typing LOL.

I agree about chemistry - I've been excited first to talk on the phone, then meet, and have been SO disappointed when it all fell flat in person. There was nothing wrong with the guy, just no spark in person.

4/28/2010 9:18:33 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
garyguitar02
Franklin, NJ
61, joined Apr. 2010


Internet connections are great, but you can't know for sure until you meet.

4/28/2010 9:51:55 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 

puddin1117
Front Royal, VA
52, joined Feb. 2010


Quote from arkansasnman:
The only issue I have with the question is the term, “dating”…..I think you have to have dates to be dating and that can’t happen unless you are face-to-face.

Do I think you can fall in love and make successful commitments with someone you’ve never see face-to-face?………yes.

There are different ways to connect and who’s to say that talking/communication is any less valid than physical contact.

No one thinks twice about people getting married that don’t know each other very well…..why don’t they?…..because they haven’t communicated. If communication is virtually all you do, it stands to reason that you will know the person very well.


Very well said ark

4/28/2010 9:56:34 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
lotusfly9
Over 1,000 Posts (1,529)
Longmont, CO
59, joined Mar. 2010


I will only date flesh and blood. Until such time, they're just an acquaintance.

4/28/2010 10:01:06 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
kiki_10
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,338)
Springville, UT
43, joined Apr. 2010


Quote from 75scott:
Is that even legal in UT?



Do I appear to be the kind of gal to worry about petty things like the law?

4/28/2010 10:14:44 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
fugly_mofo
Chicago, IL
47, joined Apr. 2010


Quote from qnofmycstle:


good morning, Pablo....


Ummm not true...well...I don't how to tell you this but... you've "e-seminated" me and now I'll be needing those "e-checks"...thanks... no worries you've got "e-visitation"....


Good morning QN . Not nure what happened. I thought you used protection!! Damn.....

If it's a boy his name is Waylon You can pick the name if it's a girl


Is Monopoly money ok?


I'll run out and pick up the newest anti-e-seminate protection for our next e-trisk........



[Edited 4/28/2010 10:16:52 AM ]

4/28/2010 10:46:43 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
latestflame
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,038)
Germantown, TN
40, joined Sep. 2009


As far as reading them, I've eben online so much for so many years that I am very good at reading people. Better online than in person. Yeah if they really want to go to trouble anyone can lie online, but I pick up on things others don't notice, so if they're even half way honest I think I read them well.

As far as knocking up, well who knows science may come up with some way to do that online.

As far as not calling someone online a friend, I've seen countless people refer to them as friends. That's stretching it to say they're not a friend. Also I know a girl right now who keeps claling this guy her boyfriend and she hasn't met him. In her case it's kind of annoying seeing her away messages saying how much she loves him and I know she won't meet him. but whatever I've felt that I loved someone online before and it's been many years and I still don't believe differently. Maybe i'll think differently some day, but I still consider it love and she still considers me an ex.

4/28/2010 10:58:25 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
beachingirl
Over 2,000 Posts (3,601)
Stone Harbor, NJ
59, joined Jan. 2008


Quote from dougiem:
You can't be dating somebody you've never f**king met. That's just common sense. Anyone who thinks otherwise might need a chromosome count.


Agreed - non rocket science I'm betting they are the ones that had (or still have) imaginary friends.....

4/28/2010 11:14:38 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 

lovethelake17
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (35,030)
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009


I think what two people decide they have together--what they define for themselves--is all that matters.

Who cares if someone doesn't think you're dating just because it doesn't fit their definition?

I can't possibly know what someone else is feeling if I'm not in that relationship. And I'm certainly not so arrogant that I would tell them they're not feeling it.

It is still chemistry if you feel something for someone else, even if you haven't laid eyes on them or touched them.

Perhaps that chemistry will fizzle once you do. And maybe it won't.

If I'm talking with someone and we've determined that we want to get to know each other better--you know, what dating is about--but we don't have opportunity to meet in person yet, but we say that we'd like to see where it goes, we'd like to only be talking with each other as we figure that out--again, kind of like...what's that word? Oh yeah, dating--I will be hurt if I find out that he's been saying that to others. Just like I would be if we'd met in RL.

Yes, at some point, in order for the relationship to develop into something deeper, you're going to have to lay eyes on each other. But in the meantime, if someone defines themselves in a relationship, I will not dispute their definition.

4/28/2010 11:18:23 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
cranky_geezer
Over 2,000 Posts (2,725)
Coram, NY
58, joined Mar. 2010


I agree 1000 percent.

4/28/2010 11:21:59 AM"dating" someone and you have never met? 
the_knee_grow
Over 2,000 Posts (3,926)
Houston, TX
49, joined Mar. 2010


The beauty of language is that it is dynamic and contextual, words also have multiple definitions.

Dating is one of those words that WILL (if not already) be changed to incorporate the new technology....

For example, we have 'video meetings' now within the corporate world...obviously it is not a 'meeting' as such, but the term is used....you can use 'dating' within the same context.