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7/7/2010 9:57:08 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 

gritsarebest
Concord, NC
43, joined Jul. 2009


Although we are all looking for the same thing (the one), dating ideals are different for different people. Some people like to date a lot of people at one time until they can find more of "who" they are looking for and narrow the playing field once they reach that point. Others think that dating lots of people at a time is too confusing and like to date a few people at a time so they can focus more intently on each person and narrow down contenders that way, and some others only like to date one person at a time so they can give 100% of their attention to the relationship to see if it is going to work.
How many people do you like to date at a time and why?

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7/7/2010 10:02:02 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 
goodman4sum1
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,650)
Reading, PA
48, joined Oct. 2009


Quote from gritsarebest:
others only like to date one person at a time so they can give 100% of their attention to the relationship to see if it is going to work.


This one.



7/7/2010 10:05:30 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 
rockmancommeth
Over 2,000 Posts (2,257)
Adrian, MI
47, joined Jan. 2010


1

7/7/2010 10:07:05 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 
iwannastang
Salisbury, MD
53, joined Apr. 2010


is the key word here date??? or just have sex with?

7/7/2010 10:07:24 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 
sunny_bee
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (27,226)
Torrance, CA
52, joined Oct. 2009


More than one until I find someone I click with. No specific number, but three is about right.

7/7/2010 10:10:46 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 

teetees08
Nashville, TN
49, joined Nov. 2009


i go on dates all the time.....when it comes to sex so far only one at a time!!

7/7/2010 10:19:26 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 

torisdad
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,637)
Louisville, KY
49, joined Nov. 2008


None would fit my dating scenario.

7/7/2010 10:24:20 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 
skihard
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,039)
Jackson, GA
62, joined Jun. 2010


I will date more than one at a time unless it gets serious and/or sexual. Then I will tell the others and end it with them.

7/7/2010 10:30:45 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 
lotusfly9
Over 1,000 Posts (1,529)
Longmont, CO
59, joined Mar. 2010


Remember the carnivals and the duck shoot game?

And no, don't need a license or permission.

7/7/2010 10:36:44 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 
iwannastang
Salisbury, MD
53, joined Apr. 2010


Quote from littlerandyinfl:
Same thing honey. BTW what is your age limits?
22-45 than if its the same as many as possible and still be able to go to work

7/7/2010 10:39:17 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 

teetees08
Nashville, TN
49, joined Nov. 2009


Quote from iwannastang:
22-45 than if its the same as many as possible and still be able to go to work



woohooo stang nuttin like still goin at it when the 5o'clock alarm goes off!!!

7/7/2010 10:41:24 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 
iwannastang
Salisbury, MD
53, joined Apr. 2010


Quote from teetees08:
woohooo stang nuttin like still goin at it when the 5o'clock alarm goes off!!!
so im not the only one!!!! thank god i was feeling so alone

7/7/2010 10:44:15 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 

teetees08
Nashville, TN
49, joined Nov. 2009


Quote from iwannastang:
so im not the only one!!!! thank god i was feeling so alone


girl im a marathoner!!! and most women my age say that im a sex addict?? i dont think so but i like those nites and then put in a good days work!!! nuttin better

7/7/2010 10:46:37 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 
iwannastang
Salisbury, MD
53, joined Apr. 2010


Quote from teetees08:
girl im a marathoner!!! and most women my age say that im a sex addict?? i dont think so but i like those nites and then put in a good days work!!! nuttin better
i knew for sure i was an addict when my sister gave me a planner cause i couldnt keep the names straight from day to day

7/7/2010 10:53:59 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 
turtledove4u
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,785)
York, PA
53, joined Aug. 2009


One at a time suits me just fine.

7/7/2010 10:56:56 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 
mindovermatter6
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,263)
Waterford, MI
56, joined Nov. 2008


one at a time, life is confusing enough!

7/7/2010 10:59:55 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 

krasota23
Over 2,000 Posts (3,194)
Albuquerque, NM
67, joined Dec. 2008


1

7/7/2010 11:01:09 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 

bbw47reader
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (18,074)
Frederick, MD
55, joined Jun. 2009


More than one, sometimes. There's no confusion if you're not lying.

7/7/2010 11:03:57 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 
s810fuq
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,821)
Joplin, MO
41, joined Feb. 2010


I'll date a few at a time. I see no reason to make one person a priority until such time as a relationship has developed.

7/7/2010 11:07:47 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 

stasisbane
Over 2,000 Posts (2,602)
Irondale, MO
47, joined Jul. 2009


more than one until one stands out.

7/7/2010 11:20:05 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 

klassy_klown
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,427)
Bakersfield, CA
48, joined Apr. 2010


Quote from s810fuq:
I'll date a few at a time. I see no reason to make one person a priority until such time as a relationship has developed.


What he said.

7/7/2010 11:31:06 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 
jennyrob
Pottsville, AR
43, joined Nov. 2009


One at a time is more than enuf for me!

7/7/2010 11:33:56 PMHow many people do you date at a time? 

gritsarebest
Concord, NC
43, joined Jul. 2009


Thank you for all your posts. I decided to post this question bc when my friends and I talked about it, none of us were the same. Wow, I am surprised, more people date only one person at a time so far.

I guess it is time to weigh in. I date a lot of people at one time until I find someone of interest. At that time, I usually keep all the others as friends (you have to be my friend first any way), and focus on the one I think might be "him". I don't find it confusing and the status quo is known by everyone of course.

7/8/2010 12:21:18 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
born2luv67
Anaheim, CA
49, joined Jun. 2010


I'm too ADD to date too many people at once...lol...and until there is a mutual interest to pursue a relationship with one person...I keep my options open

7/8/2010 12:58:35 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
lulu24
Over 1,000 Posts (1,349)
Conway, AR
42, joined Jan. 2007


maybe four?

it fluctuates, i guess...

7/8/2010 1:03:50 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
liberalextinct
Over 1,000 Posts (1,643)
Anderson, IN
35, joined May. 2009


id have to only roll 1 at a time.

>.> but i cant even find that 1

7/8/2010 1:53:04 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
choosejoy
Over 2,000 Posts (3,087)
North Sioux City, SD
49, joined May. 2010


Quote from liberalextinct:
id have to only roll 1 at a time.

>.> but i cant even find that 1


welcome to my world...lol

7/8/2010 1:55:11 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
liberalextinct
Over 1,000 Posts (1,643)
Anderson, IN
35, joined May. 2009


Quote from choosejoy:
welcome to my world...lol


i been stuck like this for 9 years.....

7/8/2010 1:55:49 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
choosejoy
Over 2,000 Posts (3,087)
North Sioux City, SD
49, joined May. 2010


6 for me...

7/8/2010 1:58:04 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
jonas35
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,979)
Dahlonega, GA
43, joined Oct. 2008


1

7/8/2010 3:04:14 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
cavie59
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,868)
Enid, OK
58, joined Feb. 2010


Quote from gritsarebest:
Although we are all looking for the same thing (the one), dating ideals are different for different people. Some people like to date a lot of people at one time until they can find more of "who" they are looking for and narrow the playing field once they reach that point. Others think that dating lots of people at a time is too confusing and like to date a few people at a time so they can focus more intently on each person and narrow down contenders that way, and some others only like to date one person at a time so they can give 100% of their attention to the relationship to see if it is going to work.
How many people do you like to date at a time and why?



If and when I ever date it is only the woman I am interested in. As of now I am dating no one.

7/8/2010 3:14:13 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
biglars
Spring Grove, PA
70, joined Jul. 2010


My dad told of having 8 dates in one week about 1940. SO he had two dates on the same day.

* * * * *

In some contexts, "dating" means sex. I recall a woman telling me she was still living with her male friend but they were not dating any more.

* * * * *

With that thinking, you're dating two people at a time if you do a threesome.

7/8/2010 6:38:59 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 

122750again
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,136)
Sioux Falls, SD
66, joined Dec. 2008


One at a time

My concentration level is geared that way

7/8/2010 6:51:46 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
thunderroadhemi
Louisville, KY
60, joined May. 2010


One, to much to juggle more than one with work. I email and phone for a week before going out the first time, if things feel right.

7/8/2010 9:44:07 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 

stl1
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (20,999)
Saint Louis, MO
63, joined Jun. 2007


Quote from gritsarebest:
Thank you for all your posts. I decided to post this question bc when my friends and I talked about it, none of us were the same. Wow, I am surprised, more people date only one person at a time so far.

I guess it is time to weigh in. I date a lot of people at one time until I find someone of interest. At that time, I usually keep all the others as friends (you have to be my friend first any way), and focus on the one I think might be "him". I don't find it confusing and the status quo is known by everyone of course.



WHY YOU NO-GOOD TRAMP ! ! !

You told me I was your one and only.














7/8/2010 9:46:20 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
ldroftrollops
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (24,140)
Goshen, IN
37, joined Mar. 2010


You people actually date???...........Son of a...

7/8/2010 9:55:01 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
trish2010
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,513)
Burley, ID
45, joined Sep. 2009


Quote from ldroftrollops:
You people actually date???...........Son of a...


Got a hot one this Saturday Cin

7/8/2010 9:55:36 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
pacifier69
Over 1,000 Posts (1,483)
Silver Creek, NY
52, joined Mar. 2008


Quote from ldroftrollops:
You people actually date???...........Son of a...

amen sister!!! looks like the concensious is women play the field while us guys think she's the only one....man are we stupid

7/8/2010 10:02:20 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
ldroftrollops
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (24,140)
Goshen, IN
37, joined Mar. 2010


Quote from pacifier69:
amen sister!!! looks like the concensious is women play the field while us guys think she's the only one....man are we stupid



I've fallen for that one a few times myself....








Sweet Trish...enjoy!

7/8/2010 10:05:28 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
pacifier69
Over 1,000 Posts (1,483)
Silver Creek, NY
52, joined Mar. 2008


women dating multiple dudes.....and they wonder why we have trust issues..

7/8/2010 10:07:11 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 

cajunmister
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,037)
Kinder, LA
66, joined May. 2007


Most at one time, 3; sex with just 1, everyone knew of the others. No one was really looking for just one at that time. Hecktic? but was rather fun. Older and slower now days, even dating one takes up a lot of energy FYI that doesn't happen often.

7/8/2010 10:09:44 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 

122750again
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,136)
Sioux Falls, SD
66, joined Dec. 2008


Ya know, even when I was 30 years younger I couldn't Date more then 1 at a time

All I could think of was the Man of the Moment



7/8/2010 10:17:05 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
trish2010
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,513)
Burley, ID
45, joined Sep. 2009


Ok are we talking about just a date or an actual dating relationship? I know I have gone to dinner, or coffee with a few different people..nothing serious. If things progressed to more dates and things clicked then I would just be dating that one person.

7/8/2010 10:20:18 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
petron
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,029)
Garland, TX
56, joined Feb. 2008


virtual dates or actual dates?

7/8/2010 10:23:58 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
ldroftrollops
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (24,140)
Goshen, IN
37, joined Mar. 2010


Quote from pacifier69:
women dating multiple dudes.....and they wonder why we have trust issues..


It's not just a woman thing Lefty...men do it too...


It's a personality thing, many need the attention validation from any and everything they can get it from. Some hide from emotional attachements by keeping themselves distantly entertained..


In short, it's a b*tch, but it's not a gender specific b*tch.

7/8/2010 10:29:57 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
s810fuq
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,821)
Joplin, MO
41, joined Feb. 2010


I think this:

If you are thinking that dating more than one person is somehow dishonest, then what you are really thinking is that there is a belief that each person being dated thinks they are the only one. If she is the only one, it's not 'dating' it's a relationship.

When did dating become exclusivity?

7/8/2010 10:30:54 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 

bunnyfastard
Over 2,000 Posts (2,421)
Fort Morgan, CO
58, joined Jun. 2008


If I could get a date, I would date just her. It's hard enough to keep one woman happy, let alone two.

7/8/2010 10:38:43 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
pacifier69
Over 1,000 Posts (1,483)
Silver Creek, NY
52, joined Mar. 2008


Quote from ldroftrollops:
It's not just a woman thing Lefty...men do it too...


It's a personality thing, many need the attention validation from any and everything they can get it from. Some hide from emotional attachements by keeping themselves distantly entertained..


In short, it's a b*tch, but it's not a gender specific b*tch.

i agree cin. its not gender specific. i was simply pointing out that most women on here say more than one while a lot of the guys say 1. youre right tho. it does have a deep seated emotional yearning for attention. myself, im more of a loner so gimme one good downhome,country,redneck,sexy,funny,monogamous,freak in the sheets woman anyday, and we'll see you all at the lake with a cooler of beer and a couple fishin poles. see, now, THATS my kind of mono-a-mono date im talkin bout rite thar!! yep yep yep

7/8/2010 10:41:34 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
turtledove4u
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,785)
York, PA
53, joined Aug. 2009


Quote from s810fuq:
I think this:

If you are thinking that dating more than one person is somehow dishonest, then what you are really thinking is that there is a belief that each person being dated thinks they are the only one. If she is the only one, it's not 'dating' it's a relationship.

When did dating become exclusivity?


It's not dishonest to date more then one person at a time. But to me it implies, YOU are not good enough so...I will keep my obtions open by dating others.

That's why I prefer to be friends first, you get a chance to know your friend without the pressure of sex and a relationship. Getting to know someone is a good thing.

Dating didn't just become exclusive....for some folks it always was.

7/8/2010 10:41:35 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
s810fuq
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,821)
Joplin, MO
41, joined Feb. 2010


So, as I date a few different ladies and explore whether or not there is a real connection...I have deep seated, emotional needs for attention?

Here I thought I have just been getting to know different people in hopes that one has that spark with me...

who knew?


ETA:

And, who says that dating means having sex with? If I take 3 ladies out for dinner in a week, we have fun, talk and set up second dates...that's not a slight to anyone. It just means I enjoyed being with each one and want to explore it further.



[Edited 7/8/2010 10:42:59 AM ]

7/8/2010 10:43:00 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
pacifier69
Over 1,000 Posts (1,483)
Silver Creek, NY
52, joined Mar. 2008


ya learn something new evry day huh?

7/8/2010 10:43:47 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
s810fuq
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,821)
Joplin, MO
41, joined Feb. 2010


Quote from pacifier69:
ya learn something new evry day huh?


Yep. I learn just how completely closed to other peoples' life choices others can be.

Thanks.

7/8/2010 10:50:23 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
conandoyle50
North Beach, MD
58, joined Apr. 2010


I only date one woman at a time, that's mostly because I get confused very easily.

7/8/2010 10:52:49 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
ldroftrollops
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (24,140)
Goshen, IN
37, joined Mar. 2010


Quote from s810fuq:
So, as I date a few different ladies and explore whether or not there is a real connection...I have deep seated, emotional needs for attention?

Here I thought I have just been getting to know different people in hopes that one has that spark with me...

who knew?


ETA:

And, who says that dating means having sex with? If I take 3 ladies out for dinner in a week, we have fun, talk and set up second dates...that's not a slight to anyone. It just means I enjoyed being with each one and want to explore it further.


And therein exposes the pychological differences between us all. I don't consider every man i've shared a meal with a date. Why, because as soon as I've used the word date, it's assumed I've nailed him. Whether I have or I haven't.

And I'm not saying that casually entertaining oneself with numerous people means they are starved crazed for attention. (but for some that is the exact case, it's nothing more than a void filler).

All I'm saying is that doesn't work for me. If someone has a romantic interest in me. I need that interest to be solely in me. Or we both are wasting our time. I don't care if they flirt, bainter and carry on with others, it's not a jealousy issue, it's an issue of knowing that person is truly interested in me. If I'm questioning it or competing, then it kicks my ego's a** and becomes unworthy of my attention.

I'm not saying my way is for everyone...but for me, I have my conditions and not fighting for someone's attention is one of them.

7/8/2010 10:53:56 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
petron
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,029)
Garland, TX
56, joined Feb. 2008


damn, this shet is complicated.

ot: I have no preconcieved notion that i'm the only person my date is seeing. if i'm attracted to them, I know others are too. we all have lives that lead us in different directions as well as different interests, which open up the door for a broader selection of candidates.

if I had more than say, 4 dates(in a short timeframe) with the same person, I might begin discussing exclusivity.

7/8/2010 10:54:15 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
ldroftrollops
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (24,140)
Goshen, IN
37, joined Mar. 2010


Quote from s810fuq:
Yep. I learn just how completely closed to other peoples' life choices others can be.

Thanks.


I don't think that's necessarily the case. I think it's more of self introspection and realizing our own limits.

7/8/2010 10:54:17 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
trish2010
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,513)
Burley, ID
45, joined Sep. 2009


Quote from s810fuq:
So, as I date a few different ladies and explore whether or not there is a real connection...I have deep seated, emotional needs for attention?

Here I thought I have just been getting to know different people in hopes that one has that spark with me...

who knew?


ETA:

And, who says that dating means having sex with? If I take 3 ladies out for dinner in a week, we have fun, talk and set up second dates...that's not a slight to anyone. It just means I enjoyed being with each one and want to explore it further.


With ya on this one darlin

7/8/2010 10:57:07 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
turtledove4u
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,785)
York, PA
53, joined Aug. 2009


Quote from s810fuq:
So, as I date a few different ladies and explore whether or not there is a real connection...I have deep seated, emotional needs for attention?

Here I thought I have just been getting to know different people in hopes that one has that spark with me...

who knew?


ETA:

And, who says that dating means having sex with? If I take 3 ladies out for dinner in a week, we have fun, talk and set up second dates...that's not a slight to anyone. It just means I enjoyed being with each one and want to explore it further.


Sematics in this case I suspose.

Usually....dating and sex go hand in had. That is why I see see it as an exclusive situation.

Otherwise, we would be simply friends the first step to any relationship.



[Edited 7/8/2010 10:58:36 AM ]

7/8/2010 11:00:20 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
s810fuq
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,821)
Joplin, MO
41, joined Feb. 2010


I think if someone is assuming that because a person dates, meaning...going out with a few people who hold some mild romantic interest, that person is somehow emotionally crippled. That is a fairly closed minded stance.

Some people don't work well in such a situation and that's all well and good for those folks. The fact that some people do it differently does not make those people attention starved with deep seated emotional issues.

Just as there are healthy folks who date one at a time...there are likewise, healthy folks who date a few at a time.


ETA:

Dating exclusively and sex may go hand in hand. General dating however, is a different deal. I do not have sex with every girl I take to dinner or a movie. If sex becomes a part of the scenario, then I see that as implied exclusivity and will have that conversation prior to relations.



[Edited 7/8/2010 11:01:57 AM ]

7/8/2010 11:05:07 AMHow many people do you date at a time? 
pacifier69
Over 1,000 Posts (1,483)
Silver Creek, NY
52, joined Mar. 2008


Quote from turtledove4u:
Sematics in this case I suspose.

Usually....dating and sex go hand in had. That is why I see see it as an exclusive situation.

Otherwise, we would be simply friends the first step to any relationship.

exactly. theres nothing wrong with hanging out with friends. for me...i say again...for me its about monogamy. how am i gonna trust someone to be faithful to me, when they have a slew of other guys theyre seeing at the same time? lets not even talk about if its gone to the bedroom stage. like cin says, my ego would be crushed if i thought she was still dating after we've done the deed. its bad enough that people are texting and sexting like theres no tomarrow, let alone dating like there never gonna have another date again. and YES, it is an emotional insecurity for some people to date multiple people. if they were secure in who they were, and who they were dating, they would be monogamous. just sayin...