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6/16/2011 12:46:50 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
wrldsgr8estkssr
Over 1,000 Posts (1,329)
Denver, CO
54, joined Sep. 2010


Not looking for advise. Just a point of view for discussion purposes only.

So...
"Dating" isn't "commitment."... we're just checking eachother out. What's wrong with checking out someone else too? Furthermore, not telling you I'm dating someone else isn't cheating... we're NOT committed.

Maybe "dating" means something different to each of us? Am I not supposed to talk nor see anyone else the whole time we're ONLY dating?





What say you?

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6/16/2011 12:49:10 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
perfectstrangr
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,365)
Long Beach, CA
34, joined Jun. 2010


You can Date others. Dating is like an open relationship.

6/16/2011 12:53:44 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
slendermiss
Over 1,000 Posts (1,813)
Edmonton, AB
46, joined Feb. 2011


I agree with you when your only dating you have every right to date others. However it is better to be upfront with the woman you are getting to know that you are dating others as well. No it is not cheating your only dating but being honest and upfront stops anyone from forming expectations and feelings from developing.

When all are on the same page no one can be hurt. If you hide the fact or in a way lead her to believe she is the only one your dating it is not fair.

For me I will only date one guy at a time and wait to see where it goes. Even though I don't think it is wrong to date multiple people I won't date someone who is doing that. Nothing wrong with it but I know me well enough to know that I am to old to have to try to compete with multiple others for his attention or time. It's just not worth it.

6/16/2011 12:54:52 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
longed50
Colorado Springs, CO
54, joined Jan. 2010


I think it helps to be up front that you are dating others.

I don't date more than one at a time, myself. Its too much work and not fair to you or them.



[Edited 6/16/2011 12:56:06 PM ]

6/16/2011 12:55:58 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
swoop408
San Jose, CA
33, joined May. 2011


Really depends. There's no universal answer to this.

If he's really into you and you play with his feelings, it's not okay. If you're looking to see where this goes, you're not giving it a chance by dating other people.

If you sleep with others and don't tell him about it and he contracts something from you, it's wrong.

If you're looking to date around and you're both on the same page. Go for it.

6/16/2011 12:58:34 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
slendermiss
Over 1,000 Posts (1,813)
Edmonton, AB
46, joined Feb. 2011


Swoop I never even thought of the sleeping with multiple people. The way he put it I was thinking more along the line of just going out, coffee, picnics, walks things like that.

YES if your sleeping with these woman, be HONEST about it

6/16/2011 1:52:09 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
hewhois
Over 1,000 Posts (1,539)
Phoenix, AZ
37, joined May. 2011


If you not having sex it fine to date more then one person. Now if you put sex in you need to say something.

6/16/2011 1:54:38 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
misslilbubble
Crandall, TX
36, joined Jun. 2011


Dating is well dating. Now for me if I am not exclusive with someone I still look. Although I do not date more than one person that can get hectic. Yes I have in the past but wont again. If I sleep with the person I am dating which wont happen unless there is potential of a true relationship then I only focus on that person. There are to many people now who date everyone and that is not fair to the other person.

6/16/2011 1:55:19 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
vickyxoxo
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,176)
Lakeland, FL
27, joined Mar. 2011


i would be ok with him dating other people because i would be dating other people too, until i get serious about him or someone else.

6/16/2011 1:55:50 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
alls_fair
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (29,637)
Thorlákshöfn
Iceland
97, joined May. 2011


Why does sex change the equation??? There is still no COMMITMENT!!!

6/16/2011 2:03:26 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
sssstamina
Saint Louis, MO
57, joined Sep. 2010


Think u'll find more women feel u shud only date one person at a time. Not sure why though...



[Edited 6/16/2011 2:03:58 PM ]

6/16/2011 2:04:36 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
perfectstrangr
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,365)
Long Beach, CA
34, joined Jun. 2010




6/16/2011 2:06:47 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
luvkillsslowly
Over 1,000 Posts (1,704)
Columbia, SC
31, joined Apr. 2011


Lmao @ perfect! You have some good pics today lol!

6/16/2011 2:06:49 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 

lisa29405
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,971)
Oak Harbor, WA
54, joined Jun. 2007


As long as you are upfront about it, I don't see a problem. If she only dates you, that is her choice.

6/16/2011 2:07:34 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 

hbguy311
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,422)
Huntington Beach, CA
36, joined Aug. 2010


Advise and advice are too different words people!!!!!!! Why do so many make this mistake?

6/16/2011 2:07:51 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
vickyxoxo
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,176)
Lakeland, FL
27, joined Mar. 2011


even if he's having sex with someone else, it doesnt make a difference. we arent exclusive, it would be a few dates, so i cant order him to not have sex. i wouldnt be his gf



[Edited 6/16/2011 2:08:26 PM ]

6/16/2011 2:09:39 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
perfectstrangr
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,365)
Long Beach, CA
34, joined Jun. 2010


Quote from luvkillsslowly:
Lmao @ perfect! You have some good pics today lol!


Sex in the city quotes. I saved them all. I'm waiting for the appropriate threads to share them.

I'm getting hungry though.

6/16/2011 2:11:03 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
shaneladd
Over 2,000 Posts (2,129)
Bakersfield, CA
64, joined Dec. 2009


I would not date a woman who dates other men after she's been on a date with me. That would tell me that we are no longer dating. If we are friends, it would be different.

6/16/2011 2:13:32 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
hewhois
Over 1,000 Posts (1,539)
Phoenix, AZ
37, joined May. 2011


Quote from vickyxoxo:
even if he's having sex with someone else, it doesnt make a difference. we arent exclusive, it would be a few dates, so i cant order him to not have sex. i wouldnt be his gf


yeah but thats not safe. better to know up front. that way you know what that person doing and can watch out for you feels and health



[Edited 6/16/2011 2:15:05 PM ]

6/16/2011 2:13:38 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
slendermiss
Over 1,000 Posts (1,813)
Edmonton, AB
46, joined Feb. 2011


Quote from vickyxoxo:
even if he's having sex with someone else, it doesnt make a difference. we arent exclusive, it would be a few dates, so i cant order him to not have sex. i wouldnt be his gf



if he told me he was having sex with someone already, I would stop it right there. No I have no right to make demands on him and what he does is his choice. However there is no way I would want to be the next on his carve the bedpost well he is out dating someone else in a few months.


Same as I would not date someone who has a FWB going on well he is taking me on dates. I have no problem with people doing that. Just I would know that our ideas on intimacy are not on the same page. No biggie just different.

6/16/2011 2:14:39 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
turtledove4u
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,785)
York, PA
53, joined Aug. 2009


@ shane....

Look at you demanding without knowing first

I have been on a lot of 'first dates' that never amounted to anything, there is no commitment until we have the conversation.



[Edited 6/16/2011 2:15:35 PM ]

6/16/2011 2:15:15 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
becky_2010
Over 1,000 Posts (1,857)
Sevierville, TN
48, joined Jan. 2010


I say there is no right or wrong way. You can continue to date others or choose to only date the one. I do believe that after a few dates both parties should be upfront and in agreement with which ever way you choose. If it's a first or second date it shouldn't be an issue for either.

6/16/2011 2:17:25 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
wpmcfb
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,118)
Athens, GA
53, joined Sep. 2009


Quote from becky_2010:
I say there is no right or wrong way. You can continue to date others or choose to only date the one. I do believe that after a few dates both parties should be upfront and in agreement with which ever way you choose. If it's a first or second date it shouldn't be an issue for either.


i was just going to say virtually the same thing.
just be honest, so the other party can have equal say in what transpires next.

6/16/2011 2:18:49 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
sssstamina
Saint Louis, MO
57, joined Sep. 2010


Quote from hbguy311:
Advise and advice are too different words people!!!!!!! Why do so many make this mistake?


Relax... its not that serious. (Looking around for the "English... 101" sign) Everyone knew what he meant... good grief.

But good to no we have you two correct everyones mistakes.

Put a couple errors in my post for ya to correct sir.... have at it.



[Edited 6/16/2011 2:19:32 PM ]

6/16/2011 2:26:41 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
vickyxoxo
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,176)
Lakeland, FL
27, joined Mar. 2011


@Slender and Hew

i rather him be honest with me than to hide it from me.
i wouldnt hop in bed with him, and im not having sex right now anyway until im in exclusive with someone so it wouldnt matter to me at first.


i dont think a guy would stop himself from having sex with another girl if he's not yet serious about me. im just trying to be realistic

6/16/2011 2:27:57 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
wrldsgr8estkssr
Over 1,000 Posts (1,329)
Denver, CO
54, joined Sep. 2010


Quote from hbguy311:
Advise and advice are too different words people!!!!!!! Why do so many make this mistake?



Ummm... smartphone, thumb & auto-complete feature. So sorry I didn't proof read and pay closer attention.

6/16/2011 2:29:46 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 

unknownfox89
Raleigh, NC
28, joined Apr. 2011


Maybe just me but when I think dating, I think one on one. So no one else should be in mind or thought of as dating cept for the one currently with. Though thats me, if im dating someone, we either break off or continue further in the relation, never really thought of dating as any other way.

6/16/2011 2:29:47 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
sassi_nepa
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,483)
Factoryville, PA
46, joined Aug. 2008


Quote from turtledove4u:
@ shane....

Look at you demanding without knowing first

I have been on a lot of 'first dates' that never amounted to anything, there is no commitment until we have the conversation.


I agree with this...HOWEVER, to me, "dating" indicates that we've gotten past that 1st date and have been seeing each other/getting to know each other.

Unfortunately, as you can see from the thread responses, everyone has their own definition of what entails "dating". So, how long are you "only dating" before you discuss exclusivity? Do you have hard and fast rules about that, or is it different for every situation? (Questions to illustrate my point, not because I actually expect quoted poster, OP, or anyone to answer )

I completely agree with the statement "there is NO COMMITMENT until we have the conversation". No caveats at all.

6/16/2011 2:37:05 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
wrldsgr8estkssr
Over 1,000 Posts (1,329)
Denver, CO
54, joined Sep. 2010


Quote from lisa29405:
As long as you are upfront about it, I don't see a problem. If she only dates you, that is her choice.


What does "upfront" mean? Is there obligation to tell about other dates?

6/16/2011 2:40:22 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
becky_2010
Over 1,000 Posts (1,857)
Sevierville, TN
48, joined Jan. 2010


Quote from wrldsgr8estkssr:
What does "upfront" mean? Is there obligation to tell about other dates?


I feel that after a few dates and if you plan on having more, you should tell each other.
Not out of obligation but as a matter of respect.

6/16/2011 2:42:05 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
changesnchances
Philadelphia, PA
28, joined Jun. 2011


I don't believe people should date mutiple people at one time. It may cause confusion for whatever reason.

To each its on though.

6/16/2011 2:43:31 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 

lisa29405
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,971)
Oak Harbor, WA
54, joined Jun. 2007


Quote from wrldsgr8estkssr:
What does "upfront" mean? Is there obligation to tell about other dates?


I dunno, maybe. If we went on the first date and really hit it off, then yeah, maybe you should tell me. The ones who told me, I had no problem with. The ones who lead me to believe I was the only one, pissed me off when I found out different. Could be because my ex's have cheated on me, I like to know just where I stand.

6/16/2011 2:43:31 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
akachipmonster
Over 2,000 Posts (3,420)
Columbus, OH
55, joined Sep. 2010


Quote from hewhois:
yeah but thats not safe. better to know up front. that way you know what that person doing and can watch out for you feels and health


No. I don't need to know what he is doing when he is not on a date with me. IF we are sexually active, it is simply MY responsibility to be safe about MY behavior.

No One owes anyone any exlanation or loyalty or comittment until an actual discussion and agreement has been made between the people who are dating.

6/16/2011 2:44:12 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
epichairday
Over 2,000 Posts (2,293)
Durand, WI
52, joined Apr. 2011


Why can't we date other people? Because womens minds are not programmed for that aspect of normal understanding. I am dating a few women right now. And I'm open about it. For this fact I'm called a SLUT. I'm called a TRAMP. I'm called a SERIAL DATER. I'm called a MALE WH*RE. And I find it amusing for the fact that those doing the name calling are being driven to being judgemental by their own neurotic insecure selfish vanity driven archaeic princess monarchy dilusional values and ethics. What's wrong with dating and getting to know more than one person at the same time- being open minded- and open and honest about it- and being kind, considerate, and respectful about it? NOTHING IS WRONG! Unless......you're dating a jealous neurotic insecure person whose been abused, lied to, cheated, and played. With 50 tons of emotional baggage.

6/16/2011 2:48:48 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 

lisa29405
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,971)
Oak Harbor, WA
54, joined Jun. 2007


Quote from epichairday:
Unless......you're dating a jealous neurotic insecure person whose been abused, lied to, cheated, and played. With 50 tons of emotional baggage.



That would be ME ! I wouldn't have a problem with you dating others, just tell me so that I know where I stand. And yes, it most definitely is MY problem, my own insecurities, and like I said before, I simply like knowing where I stand in the harem.

6/16/2011 2:49:10 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
binderdundat
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,303)
New Orleans, LA
55, joined Sep. 2008


This is why I like the "What are you looking for?" section on dating sites.... and that we were born with mouths... and brains.

6/16/2011 2:50:03 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
becky_2010
Over 1,000 Posts (1,857)
Sevierville, TN
48, joined Jan. 2010


Quote from epichairday:
Why can't we date other people? Because womens minds are not programmed for that aspect of normal understanding. I am dating a few women right now. And I'm open about it. For this fact I'm called a SLUT. I'm called a TRAMP. I'm called a SERIAL DATER. I'm called a MALE WH*RE. And I find it amusing for the fact that those doing the name calling are being driven to being judgemental by their own neurotic insecure selfish vanity driven archaeic princess monarchy dilusional values and ethics. What's wrong with dating and getting to know more than one person at the same time- being open minded- and open and honest about it- and being kind, considerate, and respectful about it? NOTHING IS WRONG! Unless......you're dating a jealous neurotic insecure person whose been abused, lied to, cheated, and played. With 50 tons of emotional baggage.






Wow!! Feel better now...j/k



6/16/2011 2:51:08 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
wrldsgr8estkssr
Over 1,000 Posts (1,329)
Denver, CO
54, joined Sep. 2010


Quote from changesnchances:
I don't believe people should date mutiple people at one time. It may cause confusion for whatever reason.

To each its on though.


What kind of confusion?

6/16/2011 2:52:27 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
lovelyariel
Sacramento, CA
34, joined May. 2011


Quote from wrldsgr8estkssr:
Not looking for advise. Just a point of view for discussion purposes only.

So...
"Dating" isn't "commitment."... we're just checking eachother out. What's wrong with checking out someone else too? Furthermore, not telling you I'm dating someone else isn't cheating... we're NOT committed.

Maybe "dating" means something different to each of us? Am I not supposed to talk nor see anyone else the whole time we're ONLY dating?





What say you?


I feel the same way... I was in dating area a couple months ago. Wasent sleeping with anyone but I was seeing a few people. And they act like it was the worst thing in the world. Shoot I was single me and them were in no relationship. I was testing the waters... Keep doing it there is nothing wrong with it

6/16/2011 2:53:50 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
hewhois
Over 1,000 Posts (1,539)
Phoenix, AZ
37, joined May. 2011


Quote from vickyxoxo:
@Slender and Hew

i rather him be honest with me than to hide it from me.
i wouldnt hop in bed with him, and im not having sex right now anyway until im in exclusive with someone so it wouldnt matter to me at first.


i dont think a guy would stop himself from having sex with another girl if he's not yet serious about me. im just trying to be realistic


Yeah but how you get serious about one woman when you sleeping with another? I mean most people dont like playing second to another person. From what I seen most people end up wit the one they sleeping with or they just sleeping around.



[Edited 6/16/2011 2:55:00 PM ]

6/16/2011 3:01:00 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
akachipmonster
Over 2,000 Posts (3,420)
Columbus, OH
55, joined Sep. 2010


Quote from hewhois:
Yeah but how you get serious about one woman when you sleeping with another? I mean most people dont like playing second to another person. From what I seen most people end up wit the one they sleeping with or they just sleeping around.


I would say you just have a very narrow way of viewing things due to limited experience and/or under developed powers of observation and analysis.

Meh, I could be wrong.

6/16/2011 3:09:58 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
vickyxoxo
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,176)
Lakeland, FL
27, joined Mar. 2011


Quote from hewhois:
Yeah but how you get serious about one woman when you sleeping with another? I mean most people dont like playing second to another person. From what I seen most people end up wit the one they sleeping with or they just sleeping around.



im not currently dating because i think men sleep around while trying to find another woman to settle down with.


a lot of guys do this, which is why i said im being realistic. no man is going to put his sex life on hold while getting to know another woman, especially if theyre taking things slow and he's not wanting to ruin it by having sex with her right away.


its sad but its true

6/16/2011 3:25:00 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
hewhois
Over 1,000 Posts (1,539)
Phoenix, AZ
37, joined May. 2011


if a guy is taking it slowly more then likely he not have sex with no one. I think you can date who ever and how many people you want. when you have sex now things change. dating a lot of people and having sex with them. then you turn around and say i'm looking for a relationship come on now thats bs lol.

6/16/2011 3:25:52 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
shroudsqt
Silver Spring, MD
26, joined May. 2011




6/16/2011 3:29:34 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
vickyxoxo
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,176)
Lakeland, FL
27, joined Mar. 2011


@Hew

it doesnt make sense to you or me
but when youre just meeting someone, and youre used to having sex with whoever you want, youre not going to stop just because you met someone POTENTIALLY worth your time.


now if a guy becomes serious about her, then i call bs if he's still having sex with other women.

only when they are committed and exclusive can a girl or guy let their partner know what they dont or do want them to do as far as cheating goes.

until then, you cant tell someone to stop sleeping around if youre not exclusive

and just because youre dating and they dont say anything, doesnt mean they arent being exactly like i said they are, sleeping around. you never know, especially if they dont tell you

6/16/2011 3:30:50 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
becky_2010
Over 1,000 Posts (1,857)
Sevierville, TN
48, joined Jan. 2010


Quote from hewhois:
if a guy is taking it slowly more then likely he not have sex with no one. I think you can date who ever and how many people you want. when you have sex now things change. dating a lot of people and having sex with them. then you turn around and say i'm looking for a relationship come on now thats bs lol.


Dating does not automatically equate to sex!

6/16/2011 3:31:34 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 

hotpink36
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,632)
Springfield, OR
45, joined Jul. 2008


vicky



[Edited 6/16/2011 3:32:12 PM ]

6/16/2011 3:34:55 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
randa_1990
Over 2,000 Posts (3,571)
Meadville, PA
26, joined Oct. 2010


As long as it's just dating he can see who he likes, I would PREFER if he mentioned that he was seeing other people, just so I don't get my hopes up, but EH it's whatever. If he picks someone else I would move on to the next one either way soo he can do as he likes.

6/16/2011 3:35:13 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
slendermiss
Over 1,000 Posts (1,813)
Edmonton, AB
46, joined Feb. 2011


Quote from hewhois:
Yeah but how you get serious about one woman when you sleeping with another? I mean most people dont like playing second to another person. From what I seen most people end up wit the one they sleeping with or they just sleeping around.


I could not ever even pretend to be serious about someone who is dating and sleeping with other woman. I don't think he is wrong, we're just different. Even reading this thread there are woman/men who don't think anything if it.

@epichairday: I don't have any emotional issues. I am not immature. I have a very open mind. I just don't think he and I would have things in common on the intimacy issue. So why even go there.

6/16/2011 3:37:30 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
joecool1962
Over 1,000 Posts (1,695)
Philadelphia, PA
55, joined Dec. 2010


I personally wouldn't date others unless we had a mutual areement that it was ok.

6/16/2011 3:37:39 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
brother_sunrize
Over 2,000 Posts (2,530)
Killeen, TX
36, joined Jun. 2011


Quote from vickyxoxo:
im not currently dating because i think men sleep around while trying to find another woman to settle down with.


a lot of guys do this, which is why i said im being realistic. no man is going to put his sex life on hold while getting to know another woman, especially if theyre taking things slow and he's not wanting to ruin it by having sex with her right away.


its sad but its true
Vicky knows the nature of the beast.

6/16/2011 3:41:04 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
vickyxoxo
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,176)
Lakeland, FL
27, joined Mar. 2011


i just think that you should assume the worst in some cases while hoping for the best


how are you sure s/he's not sleeping around? you arent.

so saying youd only be willing to date someone as long as theyre not sleeping around is unrealistic. you dont control them. you arent with them 24/7. so you cant be sure either way.


@Brothersunrize

the only reason i know is because i have some honest friends who are guys.



[Edited 6/16/2011 3:42:37 PM ]

6/16/2011 3:45:06 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
randa_1990
Over 2,000 Posts (3,571)
Meadville, PA
26, joined Oct. 2010


Yup, that's true. You can't be sure. However, you can ask

Me I personally and honestly do speak whatever is on my mind even these type of things.

Okay, he could lie, that's true, and I know it. But I don't assume he's a liar straight out, otherwise I'd hate him from the get go, bad idea.

Soo when in doubt just ask where you stand, how difficult is that?

6/16/2011 3:45:41 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
shroudsqt
Silver Spring, MD
26, joined May. 2011


Quote from vickyxoxo:
i just think that you should assume the worst in some cases while hoping for the best


how are you sure s/he's not sleeping around? you arent.

so saying youd only be willing to date someone as long as theyre not sleeping around is unrealistic. you dont control them. you arent with them 24/7. so you cant be sure either way.


@Brothersunrize

the only reason i know is because i have some honest friends who are guys.



Because she's sleeping with me and I alone tire her out?

6/16/2011 3:48:05 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
becky_2010
Over 1,000 Posts (1,857)
Sevierville, TN
48, joined Jan. 2010


Quote from randa_1990:
Yup, that's true. You can't be sure. However, you can ask

Me I personally and honestly do speak whatever is on my mind even these type of things.

Okay, he could lie, that's true, and I know it. But I don't assume he's a liar straight out, otherwise I'd hate him from the get go, bad idea.

Soo when in doubt just ask where you stand, how difficult is that?


Exactly

Never assume anything!

6/16/2011 3:48:19 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
vickyxoxo
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,176)
Lakeland, FL
27, joined Mar. 2011


Randa i am open and honest too.
but some men hide behind "i was ashamed to admit it" so they lie initially and come out with the truth later.

ive been lied to like this twice before. so i just prefer to assume he has been sleeping around while getting to know me, unless, by his schedule and how often he texts,etc., i can determine otherwise.

this way, if he has been hiding things from me, i wont be surprised.
now do i accuse him of sleeping around? no. i just make that assumption to myself so i wont be hurt.


@Shroudst

you must dream in color. your eso creative.



[Edited 6/16/2011 3:51:05 PM ]

6/16/2011 3:48:29 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
akachipmonster
Over 2,000 Posts (3,420)
Columbus, OH
55, joined Sep. 2010


Humans are sexual animals. It's not sad, it's not gender specific and it's not required that anyone ignore their sexual needs because they are getting to know someone.period.

It is required that all sexually active adults be responsible for their own safety.

6/16/2011 3:48:49 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 

lisa29405
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,971)
Oak Harbor, WA
54, joined Jun. 2007


I think this is a question that has a different answer for everyone.


My life long dating history
high school.....date 1 person
college .....date a few people, or date 1 person, either was acceptable
married.....at least one of us dated one person only
after marriage.....dated a few and dated just one for extended periods of time
currently ....dating one man

I think your views on this come from your background, culture, life experiences, and where you are right this moment in your life. Everyone is going to be different and do what makes themselves happy.

Oh, and open and honest is a key here as well.

6/16/2011 3:48:59 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
slendermiss
Over 1,000 Posts (1,813)
Edmonton, AB
46, joined Feb. 2011


Quote from vickyxoxo:
i just think that you should assume the worst in some cases while hoping for the best


how are you sure s/he's not sleeping around? you arent.

so saying youd only be willing to date someone as long as theyre not sleeping around is unrealistic. you dont control them. you arent with them 24/7. so you cant be sure either way.


@Brothersunrise

the only reason i know is because i have some honest friends who are guys.



You have a point there. Thats a lot of the reason I did not date for 3 years. I know everyone says if you get played it is your own fault and you have no one to blame but yourself and yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah. The thing is though you either have to go into leery and on guard, or open and hopeful. For me it was just to much.

I met my guy in real life and I met his brother, father, and his closest friend. I felt very comfortable with him. He has also been very open with me. He did the whole online dating thing before and found out that was his biggest worry as well, ending up feeling all dirty after some woman used him for a night

I think when you meet in real life there is still a chance of all that crap happening but I don't know there is just a different feel to the precautions you take then online.


ETA: Lisa ...... yep yep yep on all this points. maybe I was just raised weird. I'll blame my parents for making me a prude LOL



[Edited 6/16/2011 3:51:10 PM ]

6/16/2011 3:50:40 PMWe're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? 
brother_sunrize
Over 2,000 Posts (2,530)
Killeen, TX
36, joined Jun. 2011


"Humans are sexual animals. It's not sad, it's not gender specific and it's not required that anyone ignore their sexual needs because they are getting to know someone.period.

It is required that all sexually active adults be responsible for their own safety."
---------

Yeah, but it is mostly the men that suffer from... sexually-driven desires according to our human culture.