20 Things That Will Happen To You On A Beach Date

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1. So you’re hangin’ at home.

Chillin’ in a wicker basket, as you’re wont to do.
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2. And then the person you’re seeing asks you if you want to go to the beach.

Como se what?
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3. Now you’re in a predicament.

Your psychic powers tell you how it’s going to go.
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4. They think it’s gonna be like this:

*~Fun in the sun~*
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5. But you know it’s going to more closely resemble this:

*~Day at the beach~*
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 6. So today’s the day.

It’s cool. You were born for this.
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7. You attempt to slap on some bronzer.

“Medium-dark,” they said. “It’ll look good,” they said.
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8. Then you throw on your swimsuit for the first time in a year (or three.)

Still got it!
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9. And you embark on your journey.

Hope I don’t get typhoid!
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10. Then you get there and some girls are like:

~California girls!!!~
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11. But you’re like:

It burns!
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12. Then the screaming babies and mariachi music commence.

GTFO
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13. And some drunk bro kicks sand onto you while diving for a frisbee.

I will cut you and make a frisbee of your skin and ligaments, my friend.
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14. You find yourself trying to get in an altercation with a group of teens.

“TURN OFF THAT MUSIC!”
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15. But your date tells you to relax and have a drink.

~Vodka soda on ice~
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16. Soon you try the water.

Nope!
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17. After a few hours you realize you may have gotten too much sun.

“I think I’ve got a good base!”
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18. And exhaustion begins to hit.

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19. But then your date suggests tacos.

I love you fried fish taco. I am in love with you.
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20. And everything is all right again.

“Let’s move here!” “No.” “Ok!”
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