26 Signs Shes Secretly In Love With You

###There are two main channels of romantic interest for adults. First, there are the people you meet at a bar, at a party, or through an online dating site. In these scenarios, the mutual attraction and interest is often instant: you immediately ask each other out, or hook up, or date, or whatever.

Related: How to Have the ‘Define the Relationship’ Talk—Minus the Awkwardness

Then there are the times when you meet people and mutual attraction is not assured. Your new co-worker, a friend’s roommate, your roommate’s sister, the guy who works at the coffee shop next door. Do they like you? You have no idea. But what you’re left with is what in high school parlance is referred to as a crush. Because of whatever complications, you don’t feel like you can just ask this person out. But you’ve got it for them, and you’ve got it bad.

As adults, we’re beyond doodling in notepads and feverishly writing diary entries — but we can still get a little weird about our crushes.

Related: And the Single Most Confusing Text From a Man Is…

I asked a group of female friends to brainstorm how, exactly, they behave towards someone on whom they have a secret crush. Nobody does all of these things at once, but chances are, if you’ve ever had a crush, a couple of these bullet points will sound pretty familiar. (You could call some of these behaviors “creepy.” I prefer the adjectives “diligent” and “enthusiastic.”)

“Life would be so much easier if you could just be like, ‘YO. I’m in love with you,’ with no consequence,” one contributor said via GChat. Preach.

So, here you go. A no-holds-barred list of the things we do when we’re secretly in love with you.

  • “I laugh really hard when you’re within ear shot, and make sure I look super engaged with who ever I’m talking to.”
  • “I send you a link to an article about something we talked about once, in passing.”
  • I get really dressed up when I know I’m going to see you and then act surprised/dismissive when you say I look nice. (‘Really? Huh. I just came from work…’)”
  • “I listen to songs I think you’d like on Spotify and hope you see them on my Facebook feed.”
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