Dating Guide: Dealing With The Break Up

The feelings that a person may experience after a break up, particularly a really emotional and erratic one, may include anxiety, fear, nervousness, bitterness and devastation. Physically, a person who is already emotionally vulnerable to begin with may show signs of shaking, sweating and even begin to cry. This is because of all the emotional investment of one person in another, which can result in the person being broken up with feeling like all of his or her ideas of love, loyalty and respect have all been disintegrated in a heartbeat. It can be particularly devastating if one person has committed himself or herself into treating a partner in what he or she thought was the “right” way. However, all those broken hearted people should cheer up, because in the mad game of love, breaking people’s hearts is all part of the game, and a person on the receiving end of a breakup could very well be the one breaking hearts in the next relationship.

Stage 1- Initial Hurt and Damage to self-esteem

The best way to recover from the initial injury to one’s self-esteem is to remember that time has a tendency to heal everything—no matter how long that actually takes. Suffering from lowered self-esteem when someone a person loves leaves him or her is completely natural. It is beneficial to remember that one whose partner leaves him or her is still the same individual whom the partner fell in love with initially. Also remember that someone else to love will eventually come along to merely replace a former partner.

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Vulnerability is also another natural consequence of a breakup. When a person is vulnerable, he or she is at a greater risk of being taken advantage of by a new love interest. Therefore, it is advised not to settle for quick fixes. Quick fixes can be things such as dating old flings with whom you had casual relations simply for fun.

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Stage 3-Denial

Denial will be practiced by the person who endures a breakup. Denial can be so powerful that it may even involve calling up the person who broke up with you just to check if the so-called relationship is really over and done with. Denial is more than a consequence. It is a way of self-delusion, which can have harmful effects on a person’s psyche if not turned around immediately.

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Stage 4-bitterness

Bitterness is a powerful emotion, but it must not be shown to one’s ex. If a person displays feelings of bitterness to an ex, it can make the ex feel more power over the person with whom he or she broke up with, which looks worse for the person who endured the breakup. Additionally, showing bitterness can also show the person who broke up with his or her partner that said partner is too immature to be able to successfully handle the decision to break up. As an alternative to bitterness, a person should channel that emotion into something happy. An example would be focusing on work or focusing on pursuing a hobby.

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Stage 5-take some time off from dating

Taking time off from dating is a way to prevent a person from damaging himself or herself after a breakup. Many people errantly go back to dating too soon after suffering a breakup, mainly because they wrongly think that they can repair their damaged ego in this misjudged way. Taking time off from dating means keeping away from potential partners who will prey on one’s weakened, emotional state. Taking time off from dating also allows a person to do things he or she never had a chance to do before. Going back to dating much too soon after a breakup can also spread damage to the new person one dates, as that new person will only be seen as a placeholder to fill the gap, which will not do said new person justice.

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Stage 6-Socialize again

Socializing can be a very positive way of rebounding from and dealing with a breakup since this will provide a person with a more well-balanced life. Socializing can take many forms, but it primarily means meeting new people in a casual way, strengthening bonds with friends one already has, making new friends, and even focusing on networking for career building opportunities. Socializing provides one with a so-called net to fall back on. The stronger that the other factors of a person’s social life are, the more an individual will feel better psychologically.

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