Newly single individuals often find the experience of re-entering the dating world exciting, but intimidating. But we as humans, are instinctively drawn to the idea of coupling up. In the U.S. alone, nearly 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. While these numbers are striking, the truth is that we often change over the years and with personal change, comes changes in what we want in a partner. Before you jump into the dating game head first, there are several things to consider. By taking the time to explore yourself as a single individual, you will often find more satisfaction and happiness with future partners.
Indulge in Self-Discovery
Your new status as single allows you to learn new things about yourself. Explore areas of your personality to better prepare yourself for what you will need in a future partner. Allow your mind to fully heal from the damage that divorce may have caused before entering into a fresh relationship. Divorce can destroy self esteem and induce bouts of depression. Understand that what you are feeling is normal, but do not dwell in the past. Use the experience to make yourself stronger. Learn to take care of yourself and your own needs. Nurture and pamper your body and mind as you begin a new chapter in your life.
Take Things Slow
Give yourself and your children time to grieve from the death of one relationship before starting a new one. Not dating during this adjustment will save you from making impulsive mistakes in your most vulnerable time. Statistically, rebound relationships hardly ever turn into healthy relationships and can delay the healing process. This is especially important for single parents with children coping with divorce. Give children plenty of time to face the reality of the situation before bringing new people into their lives. Always enter the dating world at a speed that is right for you. Build a new social circle to fill lonely evenings and fight feelings of desperation.
Don’t Lower Your Expectations
Never settle for less when looking for a new partner. Divorce is your chance to a fresh start with the man or woman of your dreams. Seek out the qualities that you never had with your previous spouse. Dating allows you to look for individuals with the traits that you have always wanted in a partner. Don’t allow previous heartache or insecurity stop you from obtaining what you want and need. If you are not enjoying yourself with a particular individual, the beauty of dating is that you can stop seeing them. Always set your expectations high enough to satisfy, but still in the realm of reality.
Explore Your Resources
Remember that new people and fresh opportunities for happiness are everywhere. Take advantage of the many resources provided for you to find a new person to spend time with. Online dating is a popular choice as it allows busy people the chance to date while balancing the demands of a career, children and everything in between. When setting up an online profile, be specific in what you are looking for to find individuals you are most compatible with. Be open and optimistic during the dating process. Don’t give up if mismatched dates are disappointing. There are thousands of more single people waiting for the opportunity to meet someone like you.
Learn from Past Mistakes
Many divorced individuals are afraid of making the same mistakes when they start dating. They may fall into the same old patterns and ultimately choose the wrong person for them. Pick up the pieces of your life and move on to better things. Try dating people who are not your typical “type” and learn new qualities that you could genuinely like in a long-term partner. Remember to take a step back when dating to think about the choices you are making. Avoid individuals who have the same bad habits or characteristics that you found annoying in your previous spouse. Embrace the new person your divorce has forced you to become and make choices to better your future.
Never Harbor on Failure
Don’t think of your divorce as a failure, but as an opportunity to grow. Instead of focusing on all the things that went wrong in your relationship, appreciate all the things that your marriage gave you: a memorable wedding, loving children and a person that you will have an everlasting bond with. Take away life lessons from a bad situation and transform them into positive outlooks. Only you have the power to bring happiness to your own life through self-satisfaction. Never harbor on your failures but embrace the successes that marriage has given you.
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