Flirting is that special way one person acts to show another person that he or she is sexually or romantically interested or attracted. It may be expressed by body language, eye contact, tone of voice, touch, or a combination of any of these behaviors. Flirting is often playful in nature and may be very subtle at times and very obvious at other times. There is an art to effective flirting, and the best—and most fun—way to get better at it is to practice a lot, after studying these tips.
1. Smiling is the most powerful flirting tool available. Everyone loves to see a pleasant, happy face, and a smile sends all the right messages.
2. Playful touches are a low-key way to flirt without being overtly sexual. A playful punch or poke, messing up his hair, or playing with her jewelry are fun ways to get close without going overboard.
3. Eye contact is essential when flirting. But don’t overdo it—some people are not comfortable maintaining eye contact for long periods of time. Just use it for long enough to let the person know they’ve got your attention.
4. Show interest by asking questions and listening. It’s flattering to have someone show a genuine interest in your opinions, likes, dislikes, and experiences.
5. Friendly competition can set off sexual sparks. Challenge that guy or girl who’s caught your interest to a game of pool, a race around the track, or even a wager on which team will win the next championship in their favorite sport.
6. Keep your body language smooth and open when flirting. Don’t tense up and cross your arms or hunch over like you’re enduring a blast of cold air. Lean toward the person you’re flirting with and imitate their body language in a subtle way.
7. Don’t take flirting too seriously. Do it for the fun of it. If your expectations are too high, and you’re holding your breath waiting for him to ask for your number, you won’t come across as confident, and the flirting will not be as fun for either party.
8. Everyone loves to get compliments, and compliments are a great way to flirt. Only give compliments that are genuine, and don’t get too personal.
9. If someone responds negatively to your flirting, ignoring you or rejecting you outright, walk away gracefully. Don’t be obnoxious and persist, thinking they are just playing hard to get.
10. If someone flirts with you and you are not interested, be polite. It’s not necessary to insult the person—just make it clear that you are not interested by making an excuse and walking away.
11. Don’t flirt with someone you are not really interested in dating. It’s not fair to lead someone on, only to inevitably dash their hopes later.
12. Clues that someone is flirting with you include: increased eye contact, preening behavior such as straightening their clothes or touching their hair, singling you out for conversation, standing or sitting close to you, or touching you.
13. Some places are more appropriate to flirt than others. Parties, nightclubs, informal get-togethers, and online dating sites are ideal places to flirt, while flirting at funerals, church services, and workplaces is not appropriate.
14. Making crude or sexual comments, inappropriate touching, comments about someone’s body, and unwelcome passes are not flirtatious. At best, they will send the person you are attracted to running in the other direction. At worst, they will be considered sexual harassment.
15. Go slowly when flirting and watch to see if the other person seems interested in you. Watch their body language and see if they send signals that they are interested. If they do, consider moving things to the next level by asking them out on a date.
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Most relationships begin with flirting. Remember to keep it fun, be confident, and be attentive to your flirting partner, and you will be successful at this essential relationship skill.
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