The Year I Spent As A Phone Sex Operator

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In 2006, I was twenty-five, working a third-shift tech support job that was slowly crumbling out from under me, and swiping office supplies to make myself feel better. After a time, not even the stolen binders and the reams of paper made me feel better, so I turned to writing, and eventually, to professional phone-sex.

Phone-sex seemed like the perfect match for my late hours and innate desire to overshare with strangers. The agency I applied to seemed to think so as well — after a phone interview and a faxed copy of my driver’s license, I was hooked up and ready to take calls. To my surprise, it was incredibly easy. I had a handful of personas and fake accents; and pretty soon, I could clear between twenty-five and fifty dollars an hour on a good night. Independent phone-sex operators make more, but I didn’t care to mess around with tracking down assholes who canceled their cards after a four-hour session.

I made sure to keep a belt on hand that I could use to smack my couch cushions.

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