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2/8/2015 7:56:49 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 

dr_i_got_answer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,885)
Gwynn Oak, MD
51, joined Jun. 2014


Is it just me or does anyone else notice the breakdown in communication? How you communicate HERE is no different than how you would in relations. The three main things I notice is:

1. Assumptions: Ppl will assume the craziest shit without asking. Make a thread, ppl assume its YOU your talking about and it gets much more ridiculous as we good.

2. "Putting words in ppls mouths" This is when ppl twist shit up, turning ppls words around. Making ppl seem like they're saying shit they NEVER said.

Oh and my favorite....

3. Generalizing: This is the ladies favorite. When something is said they don't like, "you can't generalize" But when something is said THEY LIKE then generalizing is suddenly ok now. Look at this on a communication scale and tell me if this is a good thing?

Note: A generalization only reflects the actions of the MAJORITY. It DOES NOT.... DOES NOT.... DOES NOT mean "All" or "Every" of said group. Look it up.

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2/8/2015 10:05:28 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,386)
Fort Payne, AL
63, joined Apr. 2011


I think if we use smoke signals, instead of talking.

a lot of this would be eliminated.

2/8/2015 10:37:17 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 

dr_i_got_answer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,885)
Gwynn Oak, MD
51, joined Jun. 2014


Perhaps. Or they if ppl STOP trying to psych tactics and turninv a simple conversation into some kinda game they gotta "WIN" a lot of bullshit would be eliminated as well.

2/8/2015 10:41:42 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 
ladymelody71
Land O Lakes, FL
46, joined Sep. 2014


Hate to tell you but... your original post is full of generalizations which is what you're saying is not a good thing.. Isn't that kind of defeating the purpose of your original post?

2/8/2015 10:46:03 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 

bigdinv
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (22,228)
Houston, TX
37, joined Sep. 2011


Actions speak louder than words.

2/8/2015 10:53:08 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 

letitridegirl
Over 1,000 Posts (1,815)
Louisville, KY
41, joined Aug. 2014


Quote from bigdinv:
Actions speak louder than words.


2/8/2015 12:51:01 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 

packersbabe920
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (102,819)
Green Bay, WI
53, joined Jul. 2013


Yes, communication play a important role, the only way I'm gone do some sign languages is that you're non verbal

2/8/2015 2:41:12 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 

testsignup
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,406)
Springfield, VA
64, joined Sep. 2009


Quote from bumblebee7:
I think if we use smoke signals, instead of talking.

a lot of this would be eliminated.


I am convinced that some tribes who communicated via smoke signals, went to war and murdered each other, because they thought they saw "sarcastic smoke."

2/8/2015 3:40:52 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 
grneyesrme
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,199)
Sacramento, CA
50, joined Aug. 2013


Communication via text or email can often get misconstrued. Real life communication is essential to any lasting relationship. You can't make something work based off of you hope they can read your mind.

2/8/2015 3:51:17 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 

l380
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,934)
Alabaster, AL
45, joined Sep. 2014


Quote from testsignup:
I am convinced that some tribes who communicated via smoke signals, went to war and murdered each other, because they thought they saw "sarcastic smoke."




This is just funny^^

2/8/2015 3:52:10 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 
grneyesrme
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,199)
Sacramento, CA
50, joined Aug. 2013


Quote from testsignup:
I am convinced that some tribes who communicated via smoke signals, went to war and murdered each other, because they thought they saw "sarcastic smoke."



Bawhaha!

2/8/2015 5:55:56 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 
gizmosellsbots
Over 1,000 Posts (1,435)
Shakopee, MN
40, joined Oct. 2012


Quote from letitridegirl:


Anybody can talk a good game

2/8/2015 7:43:16 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 

dr_i_got_answer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,885)
Gwynn Oak, MD
51, joined Jun. 2014


Quote from ladymelody71:
Hate to tell you but... your original post is full of generalizations which is what you're saying is not a good thing.. Isn't that kind of defeating the purpose of your original post?


Then you misunderstood baby. I said WOMEN.... WOMEN.... WOMEN attack generalizations when its something "they don't like" but is ok with them when they LIKE whats being said.

I simple clagified what it was and that it doesn't mean "ALL" the way think it does.

2/8/2015 7:46:48 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 

dr_i_got_answer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,885)
Gwynn Oak, MD
51, joined Jun. 2014


Quote from bigdinv:
Actions speak louder than words.


But online you ONLY have words right? You can't exhibit actions online where your only means of communication is words being typed. Can you?

2/8/2015 10:43:12 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 

pickygirl72
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (20,103)
Pinon Hills, CA
47, joined Sep. 2011


Oh great another "its the womans fault" thread.

I didn't see anything mentioned about men.

2/9/2015 12:14:19 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 

dr_i_got_answer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,885)
Gwynn Oak, MD
51, joined Jun. 2014


Quote from pickygirl72:
Oh great another "its the womans fault" thread.

I didn't see anything mentioned about men.


PERFECT EXAMPLE RIGHT HERE!

I said nothing about assigning blame to men or women. But notice how you took a simple thread about communication.... and twisted ig to mame it same like I'm blaming women.

If I was blaming women I woulda said, "Women are the reason for the breakdown in our commu.ication!" But I didn't. If I thought they were the blame for something I DAMN SURE wouldn't have a problem beinv forthcoming.

2/9/2015 2:20:38 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 
ladymelody71
Land O Lakes, FL
46, joined Sep. 2014




2/9/2015 2:55:46 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 
naturebiy
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,005)
Bangkok
Thailand
42, joined Jul. 2011


Op..

I can honestly say in my cases..

Communication is indeed key.

And being a man..trying to communicate to and with women does not work sometimes.

Sometimes you can not be men with women...they just do not understand.

You can sit down...one on one..face to face...

Knowing their is problems..

And try to listen..

Not communicate..but listen..

And that still does not work.

Why?

Because women..like men..

When they have something in their head...and have made their mind up about something..

There is no talking...no communicating.

2/9/2015 3:47:16 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 
cavie59
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (20,203)
Enid, OK
58, joined Feb. 2010


Well, you can only communicate with someone IF you are BOTH willing to listen to the other person. Otherwise you are talking AT someone, no to them.

2/9/2015 10:12:20 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 

dr_i_got_answer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,885)
Gwynn Oak, MD
51, joined Jun. 2014


Quote from naturebiy:
Op..

I can honestly say in my cases..

Communication is indeed key.

And being a man..trying to communicate to and with women does not work sometimes.

Sometimes you can not be men with women...they just do not understand.

You can sit down...one on one..face to face...

Knowing their is problems..

And try to listen..

Not communicate..but listen..

And that still does not work.

Why?

Because women..like men..

When they have something in their head...and have made their mind up about something..

There is no talking...no communicating.


This is very true. So how much is communication doing if we basically speaking different languages?

2/9/2015 10:18:09 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 

dr_i_got_answer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,885)
Gwynn Oak, MD
51, joined Jun. 2014


Now what about generalizing? Obviously its wrong ONLY WHEN something undesirable is being said. But its A-OK when its something to take credit from.

Does ANYONE see the problem with this and how it rewrites "right and wrong?"

2/9/2015 8:54:57 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 
lifeplanner
Fort Worth, TX
46, joined Nov. 2013


Communication is key. Listening and transforming without conforming is the other half.

2/10/2015 7:52:42 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 
kawkasian
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,841)
Beverly Hills, CA
37, joined Sep. 2014


Quote from dr_i_got_answer:
How you communicate HERE is no different than how you would in relations.


Yes it's completely different in a myriad of ways.

2/10/2015 9:21:27 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 
missamicable
Over 1,000 Posts (1,780)
Austin, TX
83, joined Jul. 2014


Show me the facts OP.

2/10/2015 10:06:47 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 

dr_i_got_answer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,885)
Gwynn Oak, MD
51, joined Jun. 2014


Quote from missamicable:
Show me the facts OP.


Ok... Agentmoney have a thread "Single moms whats your purpose here?" In his thread comments were made on both sides of the topic.

EVERYTIME a comment was made about "single moms" (in general) that was considered negative EVERY WOMEN in there cried, "You can't generalize. Its not ALL of them!"

But whenever something pisitive was said about "single moms" (in general) nobody said SHIT about generalizing. Like it was ok all of a sudden.

They labled generalizing as wrong based on their lime and dislikez and thats bullshit but women do it all the time.

Look that thread up if you don't believe me then tell me I'm wrong.

2/10/2015 11:19:26 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 

cosmicgem
Over 1,000 Posts (1,902)
Springfield, MO
61, joined Jun. 2011


Quote from testsignup:
I am convinced that some tribes who communicated via smoke signals, went to war and murdered each other, because they thought they saw "sarcastic smoke."




Communication. This may or may not be true, but This is how I FEEL. No accusations. I'm not saying that is easy but it can be more validating to both that they are heard. And gets down to the Real reason they are upset. Feeling like both are not taken for granted. And are important to each other and still loved. People forget to treat each other in the same loving or caring way that they once did. Like we become different people after the new wears off. They forget to feed that spark that drew them together.

2/11/2015 9:52:52 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,386)
Fort Payne, AL
63, joined Apr. 2011


Quote from dr_i_got_answer:
This is very true. So how much is communication doing if we basically speaking different languages?


I wouldn't call it different languages, but going by what I think is your point.

a different playing field and set of rules might be more accurate.

There are many times communication works.

Sometimes not and its better to wait for an example to help show your point....or just shine it.



[Edited 2/11/2015 9:54:39 AM ]

2/11/2015 9:59:09 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 
wnts2byrs
Over 1,000 Posts (1,370)
Conway, AR
45, joined Oct. 2014


Do I believe communication is a key part to a relationship? Absolutely!

Do I believe that lack of communication in a relationship will lead to bigger problems? Absolutely!

Do I believe there is a lot of miscommunication regardless of the mode used? Most definitely!

I have learned from personal experience that you cannot push the other person to communicate with you. If you do, all you are doing is pushing them farther away, causing anger & adding one more brick to that wall. Again, from my personal experience, if you give the other person time & space to process things, they will generally talk about it later.

Pushing someone to do something that they are not ready or willing to do will always result in failure.

2/11/2015 10:18:08 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 

dr_i_got_answer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,885)
Gwynn Oak, MD
51, joined Jun. 2014


@ Bee:

Well I gave an example with generalizing. If I'm trying to have a conversation with my lady and I say, "women will blah blah blah" and its something she don't like so she ATTACK GENERALIZATIONS, that takes the focus off the issue.

So how can I ever make my point? Clearly this is a breakdown in communication.

2/11/2015 7:04:25 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,386)
Fort Payne, AL
63, joined Apr. 2011


Well....I think that's a matter of how the issue was brought up...not so much the issue itself sometimes.

2/11/2015 9:38:32 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 

dr_i_got_answer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,885)
Gwynn Oak, MD
51, joined Jun. 2014


Ppl also use evasive tactics too. Ever ask somebody something that might put thdm on the spot or force them to admit the obvious...... so they'll give answers THAT HAVE NOTHING TO with what you asked them?

2/12/2015 8:31:50 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 
stringopearls
Huron, SD
61, joined Jul. 2009


Quote from dr_i_got_answer:
@ Bee:

Well I gave an example with generalizing. If I'm trying to have a conversation with my lady and I say, "women will blah blah blah" and its something she don't like so she ATTACK GENERALIZATIONS, that takes the focus off the issue.

So how can I ever make my point? Clearly this is a breakdown in communication.

Perhaps she wanted the focus off the issue you were trying to convey so she changed the subject rather than confront you directly. You obviously got a response, but just because you did not like the response does not mean she was at fault for breakdown in communication. This example only shows one person trying to force his opinion on another.

Communication is more than words being spewed. It is more than one person understanding one other person. Complete communication also has feedback that is understood.

2/12/2015 8:37:17 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 
kawkasian
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,841)
Beverly Hills, CA
37, joined Sep. 2014


Attraction is the key...you can blab all day but if I don't want to put my d*ck in you it's all a waste of breath.

2/12/2015 8:45:20 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 
stringopearls
Huron, SD
61, joined Jul. 2009


Quote from dr_i_got_answer:
Is it just me or does anyone else notice the breakdown in communication? How you communicate HERE is no different than how you would in relations. The three main things I notice is:

1. Assumptions: Ppl will assume the craziest shit without asking. Make a thread, ppl assume its YOU your talking about and it gets much more ridiculous as we good.

2. "Putting words in ppls mouths" This is when ppl twist shit up, turning ppls words around. Making ppl seem like they're saying shit they NEVER said.

Oh and my favorite....

3. Generalizing: This is the ladies favorite. When something is said they don't like, "you can't generalize" But when something is said THEY LIKE then generalizing is suddenly ok now. Look at this on a communication scale and tell me if this is a good thing?

Note: A generalization only reflects the actions of the MAJORITY. It DOES NOT.... DOES NOT.... DOES NOT mean "All" or "Every" of said group. Look it up.


In my opinion, no mortal can do a mind meld. Yes, communication has flaws because people have their own personalities, past experiences, and capabilities. However, ranting about it rather than working to understand the other person seems like a childish thing to do.

2/12/2015 11:59:04 AMIs Communication Really The Key? 

dr_i_got_answer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,885)
Gwynn Oak, MD
51, joined Jun. 2014


Quote from kawkasian:
Attraction is the key...you can blab all day but if I don't want to put my d*ck in you it's all a waste of breath.


This is true BUT if the communication isn't there you can't fulfil your attraction either.

So I guess they go hand and hand.

2/12/2015 8:04:46 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 

gamerman17
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,552)
New York, NY
30, joined Apr. 2010


Communication i just one form of expression. Interpretation of communication as well as reciprocating that communication is a totally different story as things can potentially often get lost in translation which can lead to potential misunderstanding of the receiving party of communication. So communication is key in initiating anything from a friendship, but the context and content of the communication and their banter with you that develops from their communication is the precipice of the inception of anything.....gamer

2/12/2015 8:32:43 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 

worldwarzeke
Bakersfield, CA
92, joined Jul. 2014


Yes most definitely.

2/12/2015 8:38:21 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 

up2youandme
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (17,253)
Chandler, AZ
42, joined Jan. 2014


Not at all ...its a component but certainly not a one size fits all key. ..

2/12/2015 8:43:27 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 

artist820
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,544)
Tehachapi, CA
61, joined Jan. 2013


Quote from dr_i_got_answer:
Ppl also use evasive tactics too. Ever ask somebody something that might put thdm on the spot or force them to admit the obvious...... so they'll give answers THAT HAVE NOTHING TO with what you asked them?
it's called "red herring". Look it up.





2/12/2015 9:10:48 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 
datxbass
Plainview, NY
21, joined Jan. 2015


I blame Social Media.

2/16/2015 7:05:08 PMIs Communication Really The Key? 

dr_i_got_answer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,885)
Gwynn Oak, MD
51, joined Jun. 2014


Quote from stringopearls:
Perhaps she wanted the focus off the issue you were trying to convey so she changed the subject rather than confront you directly. You obviously got a response, but just because you did not like the response does not mean she was at fault for breakdown in communication. This example only shows one person trying to force his opinion on another.

Communication is more than words being spewed. It is more than one person understanding one other person. Complete communication also has feedback that is understood.


See this is bullshit. NOBODY said anything about communication means being in agreement. Thats bulkshit and I never said that, suggested it or implied it.

If I ask you something don't give me and answer that has nothing to do with the question. I don't give a fu€k about "liking" the answer.

If I ask you what you want for dinner and you say, "the Empire State Building" or I ask you if I'm gonna see you later and you say, "Scarface"

What the fu€k kinda answers are they. Then you insult my intelligence by telling me this isn't a breakdown bcuz "I don't like" the answer.