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11/13/2017 10:03:32 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

sadlsticsienna
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,342)
New South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016


The guy I like
randomly was saying today that he doesn't even know how my voice sounds and hasn't talked to me on the phone (we have been texting for like 9 months)
and asked if we could talk over phone tomorrow and I said yes and
we are going to talk over steam (with my mic and gaming headset)

only issue is I literally never talk 1 on 1 on the phone with guys? LOl wtf I'm kinda sh*tting my pants right now huh

Oh gawd oh gawd

I've started feeling really anxious about it and
kinda sick like I'm gonna spew :X

ahh why did I not say no idk
I guess it was like too much of a risk like
saying no, since I'm going overseas on the 23 and I said I'd see him after I'm back like
he said he feels like the meets still like 'impossible/not gonna happen?' or something?

So I guess I agreed to it because of that, like there's only so many times you can turn (someone down) down meets and
stuff like this before they give up you know?

Still overarching issue of my rly bad social anxiety Ah

so like really at this point I have no choice but to do it otherwise its like really fking bad to turn around and say no lol fml
like 100x worse than if I'd just said nah in the first place

how do I get myself into these situations



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11/13/2017 10:11:08 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 
korbyn
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (46,501)
Bat Cave, NC
98, joined Jun. 2013


You'll be okay.

11/13/2017 10:22:52 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

sadlsticsienna
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,342)
New South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016


I'm gonna dieeeee

I should be single but it's like I'm in too deep now kinda thing idk????

11/13/2017 11:11:13 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

easttowest72
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,863)
Bremen, GA
46, joined Sep. 2014


It will be fine. Hopefully he can hold his end of the conversation. Sometimes i say stupid things on the phone but honestly, guys dont care. They only want to hear a famine voice.

11/13/2017 11:12:09 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

sillylaugher61
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,402)
Murrysville, PA
56, joined Aug. 2011
online now!


Stay away from real men. you have proven to like pretend guys better.

11/13/2017 11:24:15 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

sadlsticsienna
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,342)
New South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016


Quote from easttowest72:
It will be fine. Hopefully he can hold his end of the conversation. Sometimes i say stupid things on the phone but honestly, guys dont care. They only want to hear a famine voice.

The guys iv talked to gaming have all been really outgoing and charismatic and flirted with me hard but I had such stereotyped lame responses aka "awww" every time, fml lol.

So I was like fvck this and stopped playing and going on mic. All too much effort really. I hate talking to guys, its pointless waste of time unless they are real dating prospects (gaming ones usually aren't cos not in same location). Its like I already have social anxiety, talking to them is not really fun, its basically real exhausting effort and work for me. Afterward I'm exhausted

11/13/2017 11:26:26 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (59,740)
Saint Paul, MN
65, joined Oct. 2009


My God, sienna, no wonder you aren't married! Geez, you have more social anxiety than I have! If you don't talk to him you'll be penpals until he finds someone local and marries and starts a family of his own and then you'll think him a lying bastard for not waiting literally forever for you to get off dead center. Since you obviously want to get out of it then get one of those migraines you women always get and beg off the call. It will clear up the second he hangs up! Of course he might just decide that he wants something more than penpals and start looking about at the local girls again. At the rate you're going you'll definitely wind up like driver! 65 and ALONE. This isn't the guy's fault, this is your fault. You're guaranteeing that the relationship has nowhere to go and you'll look down on western men some more when he dumps you. Either be a woman and suck it up and talk to him or get the headache and be prepared to be dumped. YOUR choice, not his.

11/13/2017 11:31:53 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (59,740)
Saint Paul, MN
65, joined Oct. 2009


Quote from sadlsticsienna:
The guys iv talked to gaming have all been really outgoing and charismatic and flirted with me hard but I had such stereotyped lame responses aka "awww" every time, fml lol.

So I was like fvck this and stopped playing and going on mic. All too much effort really. I hate talking to guys, its pointless waste of time unless they are real dating prospects (gaming ones usually aren't cos not in same location). Its like I already have social anxiety, talking to them is not really fun, its basically real exhausting effort and work for me. Afterward I'm exhausted


You have to give the guys something to work with. You're as cold and hard as the iceberg that the Titantic kissed. And do you think those guys will chase you forever? NO! They'll find themselves a girl who's willing to be caught and by that time even Driver won't be interested. On the other hand since you obviously don't want to meet or do anything more than exchange messages you ought to give driver a break. You're 12000 miles apart? BIG DEAL! It's not like you want to meet any of these guys anyhow and you're alays giving them the cold shoulder and then you think western men are bastards when they look for some girl willing to actually be caught. You are your own worst enemy, my dear.

11/13/2017 5:04:03 PMSo I have a Dilemma? 

packersbabe920
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (98,244)
Green Bay, WI
52, joined Jul. 2013
online now!


Let Jesus take the wheel and you will be fine

11/13/2017 5:55:31 PMSo I have a Dilemma? 

driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (59,740)
Saint Paul, MN
65, joined Oct. 2009


No dilemma. Get the headache, you gotta wash your hair, got clothes in the drier and you'll give him a ring a zillion millennium past the end of eternity. Then you'll be mad when he dumps you for someone else.

11/13/2017 6:48:43 PMSo I have a Dilemma? 

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,059)
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011




hmmmmmmm, Sttttrrrreeeeettttcccchhhh!!!!

Yawn....

Never fails Sienna, whenever you tell these bedtime stories, it just puts me to sleep.

You have such a vivid imagination, you should become a fictional writer.

11/13/2017 7:26:09 PMSo I have a Dilemma? 
doublethree
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (15,412)
Germantown, TN
40, joined Oct. 2013


I was always nervous to talk to girls on the phone. When I finally did, they claimed my voice is hot, but I never know when to believe females. lol.

11/13/2017 8:17:11 PMSo I have a Dilemma? 

lareveur
Over 2,000 Posts (2,909)
Clinton, TN
34, joined May. 2013


Just convert you're nerves into excitement, recall things you love talking about so much - it makes you feel witty just anticipating it, etc...

^ I really wish I could follow my own advice (since I am an introvert, myself) but I am still in test mode and need a few more guinea pigs. So, let me know how it goes, lol.



11/13/2017 9:05:26 PMSo I have a Dilemma? 

lucky_1million
Over 2,000 Posts (2,162)
Pewaukee, WI
51, joined Jun. 2013


I hate talking on the phone too.

11/14/2017 2:19:55 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

pickygirl72
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,910)
Pinon Hills, CA
47, joined Sep. 2011


Texting for 9 months and NEVER have spoken to you on the phone or has met you

You must love to be played.

11/14/2017 2:58:44 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

inkedandsassyy
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,175)
Victoria
Australia
51, joined May. 2017


How do you know you like him if you have never spoke for real ... People can txt any old crap ... You need more real interaction. ..Good luck with the phone call

11/14/2017 3:14:09 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

sadlsticsienna
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,342)
New South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016


Quote from lareveur:
Just convert you're nerves into excitement, recall things you love talking about so much - it makes you feel witty just anticipating it, etc...

^ I really wish I could follow my own advice (since I am an introvert, myself) but I am still in test mode and need a few more guinea pigs. So, let me know how it goes, lol.


I had a rough night last night and he hasn't mentioned talking Steam yet so idk whats going on lol (like if we will or won't).

he just said he was tired earlier when I said I was really tired so yea maybe we won't, which I'm kinda hoping for cos I'm really tired anyway.

I really neeed a break but there's work I need to catch up on and stuff I have to do ahhhhhhh
just been feeling weirdly depressed lately especially when I think of this situation, like
Dating wise, I just want to be alone and not date. Although that's probably the depression making me feel that way idk. Always makes me want to be alone and and lose hope in everything. Always happens though like I get interested in a guy then start getting depressed and don't want to date them anymore lol.

I mostly would feel bad about letting him down but I think people don't really notice when you kinda stop talking and just end up not meeting anyway so it's not much of a big deal.
Can't do things just to not let others down all the time, especially when it's just a nightmare for me.

11/14/2017 5:08:16 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,059)
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011


Quote from easttowest72:
It will be fine. Hopefully he can hold his end of the conversation. Sometimes i say stupid things on the phone but honestly, guys dont care. They only want to hear a famine voice.


What? the type of guys you talk with love the voice of starving women?

11/14/2017 5:09:39 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,059)
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011


Quote from pickygirl72:
Texting for 9 months and NEVER have spoken to you on the phone or has met you

You must love to be played.



Don't look now,...but she played you with this made up story....

11/14/2017 5:16:44 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

sadlsticsienna
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,342)
New South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016


Quote from bumblebee7:
Don't look now,...but she played you with this made up story....

Why do you say every thing I say in terms of dating is made up? Wtf lol. What's so fictional sounding about it?

11/14/2017 1:02:40 PMSo I have a Dilemma? 

driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (59,740)
Saint Paul, MN
65, joined Oct. 2009


No, no dilemma. Get a headache, go into hiding. He'll find someone else in a week and you'll come in here whining that you hate western men and what bastards they are. But you have an opportunity here if you're woman enough to take it. Still, for you it isn't that far to find yourself a China boy.

11/14/2017 3:07:50 PMSo I have a Dilemma? 
uncle_bulgaria
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,524)
Houston, TX
50, joined Apr. 2017


If talking on the phone to them makes you nervous wait till you have to give them a blumpkin.

11/16/2017 5:58:59 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

testsignup
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,346)
Springfield, VA
64, joined Sep. 2009


Best and easiest solution: make some phone calls to people who you are NOT hoping to impress, and practice talking to them.

Teach yourself to "banter" in that way. And yes, you can do it even when you have a looming deadline.

11/16/2017 6:06:53 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 
cavie59
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (20,203)
Enid, OK
58, joined Feb. 2010


The only dilemma the O.P. has is getting people who have seen her posts to believe her. She has more issues than any one sane person could survive with.

11/16/2017 7:59:26 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

sadlsticsienna
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,342)
New South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016


I talked to him on the phone :3

It went great, hoping to see him on Saturday

I just have really bad anxiety, I'm not really that socially inept lol





[Edited 11/16/2017 8:00:16 AM ]

11/16/2017 8:12:29 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

stratus55
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,755)
Jackson, GA
52, joined Jan. 2017


make it a point to be the same on here....as you are in person..

just go for it,none of us are perfect,yet..im a real talker,an used to be very shy,thats cause of playing guitar an gettin compliments from tenn. to atlanta area through the years,your a people person on here for sure..just go for it hunny......


your a 25 year old loved grown woman..no one hates you i hope,some are maybe jealous,but just act like your on here...its past time sara..........and you should maybe soon consider men...not boys... someone past 30 or so even....dont go backwards..your not a child no more,but a pretty an cute sexy young woman...just go for it..i,ll be at 1 800 wherever,.... hunny..........p.s..never say a single word ever again about anyone shi .....g there pants,until maybe your tellin someone your baby had too much apple juice or whatever..wow...one step over the line there hunny...........



[Edited 11/16/2017 8:14:07 AM ]

11/16/2017 10:04:04 PMSo I have a Dilemma? 

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,059)
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011


Yeah...you have a dilemma alright.


















































Being locked up in the nuthouse....

11/17/2017 5:28:56 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

sadlsticsienna
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,342)
New South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016


ill lock you up in a minute

11/17/2017 11:05:58 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

sadlsticsienna
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,342)
New South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016


Alright he is coming over my house on sunday hopefully
fingers crossed
all goes well lol *nervous laugh and giggle



11/21/2017 10:42:55 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

Bubbl3gum
Thorlákshöfn
Iceland
25, joined Feb. 2016


Oh mmmmmy he was amazing :3

in more than one way
mmm

alrightyoo oI'm leaving country tomorrow peoplz

11/21/2017 2:42:51 PMSo I have a Dilemma? 
nymeria73
Over 1,000 Posts (1,846)
Milan
Italy
45, joined Jul. 2017


Quote from sadlsticsienna:

only issue is I literally never talk 1 on 1 on the phone with guys?


Why?

11/21/2017 2:55:47 PMSo I have a Dilemma? 
uncle_bulgaria
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,524)
Houston, TX
50, joined Apr. 2017


She prefers 2 on 1?

11/21/2017 3:08:26 PMSo I have a Dilemma? 
nymeria73
Over 1,000 Posts (1,846)
Milan
Italy
45, joined Jul. 2017


Threesome.

11/21/2017 4:14:51 PMSo I have a Dilemma? 
riteguyforu852
Over 2,000 Posts (2,037)
Naperville, IL
35, joined Oct. 2017


Nymeria would like to have a threesome with Uncle Bulgaria and sadistic Sienna.

11/21/2017 5:42:30 PMSo I have a Dilemma? 

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,059)
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011


Quote from sadlsticsienna:
Why do you say every thing I say in terms of dating is made up? Wtf lol. What's so fictional sounding about it?


Because early on, you told everyone here that you weren't allowed out of the house and not allowed to have relations.

11/22/2017 4:02:28 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 
korbyn
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (46,501)
Bat Cave, NC
98, joined Jun. 2013


Quote from bumblebee7:
Because early on, you told everyone here that you weren't allowed out of the house and not allowed to have relations.


Bumblebee. You are stupid, incest inbred backwoods idiot son of a b*tch.

F**k you.

You are the lowest kind of person there is in this country. Some backwoods hick trash. That's lower than anyone else. Get it through your head. I spit on you. Everyone spits on you. You are dogshit. People like you are dogshit. Human garbage. Worthless.

11/22/2017 9:31:10 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

sadlsticsienna
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,342)
New South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016


Alright I have another dilemma, I like him but he's so damn busy
and doesn't even talk that often

things don't change right?

if he's busy now he's always going to be busy?

11/22/2017 10:00:58 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 
nymeria73
Over 1,000 Posts (1,846)
Milan
Italy
45, joined Jul. 2017


I happen to believe that when someone is really interested in you they find the time, no matter how busy they are. Of course, it remains to see what do you intend with "he doesn't talk that often". Maybe you're too much into talking on the phone. Some people don't like that very much.

11/22/2017 10:44:58 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

sadlsticsienna
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,342)
New South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016


Quote from nymeria73:
I happen to believe that when someone is really interested in you they find the time, no matter how busy they are. Of course, it remains to see what do you intend with "he doesn't talk that often". Maybe you're too much into talking on the phone. Some people don't like that very much.

Either he is making excuses cos He's not that into me and doesnt want to dedicate more time or he just doesn't have the time, either way lol.

That is what I thought. I just think I need to let him know that I'm uncomfortable with how little he texts and we communicate in general.
Honestly I think I should just throw in the towel and forget about the whole thing, I can tell when someone just isn't that into me and doesn't take dating and relationships seriously.

Its just really sad cos I really liked him a lot and the date went swimmingly well
Also reaaaally cute lol

11/22/2017 11:09:35 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 
nymeria73
Over 1,000 Posts (1,846)
Milan
Italy
45, joined Jul. 2017


Quote from sadlsticsienna:

Honestly I think I should just throw in the towel and forget about the whole thing, I can tell when someone just isn't that into me and doesn't take dating and relationships seriously.


Go with your guts. If that's how you feel about it, leave it. You don't have to be angry with him and cut all ties. But you don't need to hold your life for him either. Keep going on with your everyday life as usual and don't call or text him. He will get the msg. and If he wants he will make more efforts.

I know it sucks, when you really like the person, but there is nothing you can do about it. Sigh.

11/22/2017 11:14:05 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 

sadlsticsienna
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,342)
New South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016


Quote from nymeria73:
Go with your guts. If that's how you feel about it, leave it. You don't have to be angry with him and cut all ties. But you don't need to hold your life for him either. Keep going on with your everyday life as usual and don't call or text him. He will get the msg. and If he wants he will make more efforts.

I know it sucks, when you really like the person, but there is nothing you can do about it. Sigh.


Its a shame because I thought he was acting thAt way before we met cos he was waiting till we met to take it more seriously but it actually got worse after we met. Like he was more busy and seemed to talk less, didnt even talk about our date

I started investing a lot of emotions and feelings as well

11/22/2017 11:27:46 AMSo I have a Dilemma? 
nymeria73
Over 1,000 Posts (1,846)
Milan
Italy
45, joined Jul. 2017


Yeah, it doesn't sound very promising. Just leave it and get over it as quickly as you can. There have been cases when a guy was contacting me every single day. Everything seemed to be great when suddenly he started to be very distant. Not like ghosting but you know, the same old thing: "I'm busy", "I have some problems", "it's not you, it's me". They all translate into one thing only: "I am not interested in you anymore!"
Plain and simple. Anything else is bs.

Don't take it personally. There is nothing wrong with you. At least he isn't trying to fool you. At least it doesn't seem so. He's just letting you know in a "subtle" way. It must've happened to you as well towards a guy. Just move on and be open to meet other people.



[Edited 11/22/2017 11:29:46 AM ]

11/22/2017 3:52:10 PMSo I have a Dilemma? 
geezers_end
Over 1,000 Posts (1,954)
Patchogue, NY
59, joined Oct. 2017


Texting for 9 months and never talking? What a stunad...

11/22/2017 4:21:20 PMSo I have a Dilemma? 
heart_and_soul3
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,473)
Sarasota, FL
60, joined Aug. 2014


Actually, you can talk on the phone--and, text every day--

And, many things can be said--

But, it boils down to--He is just feeding his ego--

And, I'll lay odds he is doing the same thing to many others.

If I was a betting woman--I'd say--It is to boost his ego..

Which in reality..IS sub-zero-

You know the kind that never has any good words for YOU--

But, has good words for everyone else--

Just playing you--