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10/21/2009 8:41:56 AMHusband banned from Target 
Over 2,000 Posts (3,369)
Stratford, CT
60, joined Nov. 2008

Husband banned from Target

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from our local Target.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samsel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he would invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called..

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.


Hope this made you laugh as it did me.

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10/21/2009 8:45:26 AMHusband banned from Target 
Over 2,000 Posts (3,747)
Sebastian, FL
60, joined Dec. 2008

No more shopping for Mr Samsel.

10/21/2009 8:57:53 AMHusband banned from Target 
Over 1,000 Posts (1,699)
Deer River, MN
66, joined Mar. 2009

Thats funny

10/21/2009 9:03:56 AMHusband banned from Target 
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (15,786)
Burley, ID
68, joined Feb. 2008

Thanks for the laugh......Now where will Mrs. Samsel shop??

10/21/2009 10:38:50 AMHusband banned from Target 
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,879)
Stateline, NV
64, joined Jan. 2009

OMG...I so needed a laugh this morning..Thank you very much..

10/21/2009 10:45:40 AMHusband banned from Target 

Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,521)
Cheney, WA
61, joined Mar. 2009

That is absolutely HILARIOUS!! I practically feel off my chair laughing!!!!

10/21/2009 1:29:30 PMHusband banned from Target 
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (21,597)
Keller, TX
61, joined Jun. 2009

That was funny and sounds like something a bored husband might actually do!!!

10/21/2009 1:36:04 PMHusband banned from Target 
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (21,135)
Nicholasville, KY
75, joined Sep. 2008

Extremely funny. More true than you might think.

When I went to check out new furniture, my daughter and son-in-law accompanied me. You wouldn't believe his antics. It went from holding up his hand calling,"Lady,Lady, I am holding up my hand", to get the saleswoman's attention. To walking down the isles like Forrest Gump when she said to follow here to another selection.........It was a royal comedian act.I vowed to never go shopping with him again.

10/21/2009 1:39:49 PMHusband banned from Target 
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,111)
Calhoun, GA
66, joined Mar. 2009

10/21/2009 2:14:39 PMHusband banned from Target 

Over 10,000 Posts!!! (42,024)
Little River, SC
65, joined Oct. 2009

Funny Bo--now you're funny too ...the music man goes comedy--thanks